Psychological Warfare

The following is a comment that a user posted to the OCFFR Blog that I turned into a separate blog post as I felt that the message was too important to be hidden among comments.

Posted by an anonymous person on the OCFFR Blog:
My fiance and I have just completed one of the most horrific custody cases I have ever witnessed. My fiance is a loving father who has had his son eleven hours a day, five days a week, for the last FIVE years. His ex-wife found herself a new husband on e-harmony eleven months before the trial and took my fiance back to court because she literally wanted my fiance out of her life. They previously had shared parenting and was supposed to return to court to renegotiate parenting time once my fiances son was in school. but she was successfully able to decrease my fiances time to the standard “visitation” plan. This all took place in Cuyahoga County.

I am a divorced mother whose ex-husband disappeared for five years. When he finally resurfaced, he was awarded visitation by Lorain County. I will say that Lorain County has a much more equitable atmosphere towards fathers. I erroneously assumed that my fiance would get the same treatment from Cuyahoga. I was dead wrong. The first thing that happened was that the ex-wife got the magistrate to order a “full psychological evaluation” of my fiance. My fiance was ordered to meet with a psychologist and rehash everything that went wrong in his marriage and answer allegations put forth by his ex-wife. She had told this psychologist that my fiance was a sexually abused child, a criminal, a wife abuser, and that he was guilty of caring for his child “too much”. Of course, she had no proof for any of these allegations. This did not seem to matter to the psychologist, my fiance was forced over several meetings to answer any and all of the charges she leveled at him. In the end, the psychologist decided that my fiance was guilty of “enmeshment”. Meaning that he cared to much for his son and was actually stifling his development.

I should say that both my fiance and myself are registered nurses. We are not uneducated. My fiance actually holds two different bachelors degrees and one masters. I am very well aquainted with psychology. When I read the report from this psychologist, I was appalled. It was not even sound psychological theory. I happened to mention this to a colleage of mine at work and he stopped in his tracks. In horror, he told me that his ex-wife had also used this same attack. She had gotten the same psychologist to evaluate him and he had been accused of “enmeshment”. He actually appealed the courts decision and got his own expert psychologist to come in and testify. The court did not listen to a word of the testamony and on the advise of this psychologist his visitation was TAKEN AWAY. Another colleague heard our discussion and came to join in. I think everyone in Cuyahoga County needs to know what we have found out by contacting men who have been ordered to undergo these “psychological evaluations”. In Cuyahoga County there are only two male psychologists who are considered “experts” and who are called in to testify in court. In almost all of the cases, these two psychologist will rule in favor of the mother. It does not matter if she is mentally ill, on drugs, or abusive. Mom will win. It is so bad that one of these two psychologists has acutally been sued in the past for psychological malpractice. I do not understand how in the world these two men have been able to get ahold of this kind of power. Literally, the judges will do anything they say. I would not have believed this of our justice system if I had not witnessed it with my own eyes. My fiance has been stripped of his shared parenting and reduced to being on the sidelines in his own sons life. All because a psychologist thinks he cares for his son too much. This is the kind of story that we need to get out to the public. I don’t think people realize that this is going on.

Signed,
Anonymous

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