Mere Misandry or Incredibly Fantastic Lies Indicative of Delutionary Lunacy

The following is undoubtedly the most lying and deceptive website (describing America’s Family Courts) I’ve ever come across. I believe one should choose their battles wisely. That said, there are incredibly talented people in the likes of Glenn Sacks, Stephen Baskerville and others who easily discredit the baseless illogical and mindless arguments that misandrists such as NOW and others pollute society with.

With that, I’ll leave those arguments in the hands of those such as the aforementioned to make mince-meat of the hateful ideologies espoused by radical feminists aka “radfems.” Nevertheless, I’m obligated in the name of intelligence to dutifully discredit the outright lies found on “Custody Preparation for Moms” website.

Not wanting to infringe upon their “copyrighted” lies, understand that what I have in quotes is from the “land of delusional thinking.” Admittedly, and what could be regrettably, I am going to walk a fine line of professionalism as I pick through their garbage aka intellectually-founded “information.”

“Roughly 80% of divorces in our country involve uncontested custody determinations in which both parties agree it is best for the children to reside primarily with their mother in her continued primary care-taking role. It is the other 20% of contested custody cases that this website addresses. -Source- Custody Preparation for Moms Website

FACT: This isn’t just patently false. To elaborate on what their “factual claim” does to me mentally, picture this. You’re at the zoo with your children in the ape house and you witness the most disgusting…forget it…

In short, these liars claim that in 80% of divorces nationwide, fathers say to the mothers, “You know, you’re right, I’m an incompetent dolt and therefore unable to parent my own children. Please save me from myself, rescue us all by taking custody, and I’ll file for bankruptcy after you take everything and I pay you 65% (or more) of my monthly income for the next 18-25 years. Please bring the children to visit me when I’m living in a homeless camp by the river.”

It gets worse. These superior beings are only addressing the “other 20%” where a father doesn’t say, “please kick me out of the house, bankrupt me, steal my children, and steal my income for the next quarter century sweetie.” Ya think they have “anything” to lose by fighting? That said, one can logically conclude from their website that only mothers should have custody, and in “only” 100% of cases nationwide. Pass the Kool Aid. I understand why those who wrote this are single moms.

Because of the pervasiveness of family violence in our country and the astounding nationwide system failure of our family courts to protect women and child victims, much of this sites’ focus is on assisting and educating protective mothers. -Source- Custody Preparation for Moms Website

FACT: It’s the psychotic people such as yourselves that fathers are literally dying in their attempts to save their children from. Statistically speaking, and in Family Court cases, it’s “routine” and considered modus operandi for those “20% of women” who couldn’t convince their ex’s that they weren’t as stupid as what you portray yourself to be, that women are advised by attorneys, to make false domestic violence allegations. This of course is against the father so as to gain the custody advantage that the 80% of Moms you speak of didn’t need because “everyone agreed” dad=bad, mom=good.

In almost every state of the union, including Alaska where your repulsive site is being hosted, to “make a father disappear,” only the following must take place. All a woman must do is call the police (and even “without” all the drama where you pretend to cry and sob and weep) say, “my husband threatened to kill me.”

That father will be arrested at gunpoint, jailed, and his children prevented from seeing him for months. I’ve had those shotgun barrels pointing at the back of my head while I ate concrete. God forbid anyone besides myself consider what a house full of gun-drawn police did to traumatize my daughter.

Yet you are too dense to even begin to fathom the permanent psychological damage you will cause your children just to enable you to be a retired “child support mom.” You are despicable, vile and an insult to good mothers around the world. Stop the financial nursing at the breast of your ex, get out and work like the rest of us, and get some much-needed psychological help. Why don’t you post some incontrovertible and unbiased statistical data to support such absurdity? Is it because you can’t back your baseless, depraved, lying and self-proclaimed “facts” up?

“Studies show batterers are able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases.” (American Judges Association)
-Source- Custody Preparation for Moms Website

FACT: Lets start with the American Judges Association website whose “fact” you attempt to portray as proven and an indictment of fathers. Let’s be honest with ourselves, since you proclaim that your website is to assist battered women (which by the way is a true insult and disservice to women who are truly being battered) one can logically conclude that you are inferring that only men are batterers, and that in “70% of challenged cases” these “male” (it is male, correct?) batterers convinced authorities that the victim (you would have us presume that’s always a woman, correct?) is unfit or undeserving of sole custody.

Since as you claim 80% of fathers nationally admitted they were inept dolts and said, “I can’t have custody, because I’m just as stupid as the people whose website claims 80% of us really said this”, that leaves us 70% of the 20%. I’m sorry, I know your feeble mind is smoking from the confusion…(“Hey Spongebob, how can there only be 70% of 20% when there’s still 30% of 100% left?”). Forget it, the fact remains, we have only 14% who don’t “necessarily” get custody, they just convince “authorities” of the rightful fact that their ex’s are the incarnate of your type. This of course is according to your “statistic” that was only a “quote” that didn’t cite a source as its reference, on the aforementioned website.

Nonetheless, what’s the point of your illogical inference? It makes no sense. Is your point to mislead ignorant people into believing that 70% of batters are men? Not only that, these same “batterers” “get custody” 70% of the time?

If you read the first paragraph on this page, it clearly refers to both male AND “female” perpetrators.

Speaking of the “American Judges Association” as if the word judge automatically infers intelligence, why didn’t you cite this page, where it says and in reference to batterers “…and 39% were men killed by their female partners” in the very last sentence of the last paragraph.

You are of those type who have decimated the lives of men and children in my organization, whereby we attempt to pick up the pieces of shattered lives. This, while you drink your beer, do your drugs, and spend “your children’s” child support dollars on yourselves. Sadly, I firmly believe that children with mothers such as you who espouse such lies would be better off if you met your maker.

Would they be devastated? Most likely, they are innocent children and I’m sure they love you. However, that devastation is rendered insignificant by the tremendous amount of permanent psychological you have done and will continue to do to your children in your quest to protect your child support pipeline. This, whereby YOU spend child support payments intended for them, on YOUR lifestyle. Your children will for the rest of their lives have to contend with the emotional damage you caused them through your selfish greed.

Do mothers around the world a tremendous service by removing your “copyrighted” lying trash from the information superhighway. It’s the likes of you who have given good moms bad names. It’s the likes of you who cause good moms, “deserving” of more child support to live in poverty because they feel bad about taking money from their children’s father. Much needed money that the father wouldn’t miss, and would surely provide for a better life with their mothers.

How ironic. Today, I saw a woman in a gas station parking lot who looked familiar. She was well-dressed, but I could tell she didn’t have money. Then it hit me, it was she with whom I pleaded with to allow me to intervene on her behalf and seek more child support form her truly “deadbeat” ex. I gave her my card and repeatedly asked her to call me and she never did. When I explained to her why she deserved to receive more child support (as her utilities were being repeatedly disconnected) she said, “I just feel bad,” to which I countered, if any mother deserves more child support, it’s you. PLEASE call me.”

Sent by email
WARNING: Send only mail which is pertinent to this web site. E-mail which is unsolicited and which is not related to women in child custody litigation or corresponding issues will be considered spam and handled accordingly.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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One Response to Mere Misandry or Incredibly Fantastic Lies Indicative of Delutionary Lunacy

  1. Karen says:


    I’m a newly separated mom to a silly, sweet 20 month old girl.

    Ziva was born before her father and I were married.
    In her short life time, we’re married and now separated.

    He’s a struggling, recovering, relapsing cocaine addict.
    He is verbally and emotionally abusive.
    He is a pathological liar.
    Quality time with the baby is in front of primetime tv or football.
    He has never had a regular responsibility with the baby – not bath, daycare pickup or dropoff, feedings / meals, diaper changes, bedtime stories.
    Their one tradition was napping on Sunday mornings on the couch while I went grocery shopping.

    I didn’t know of his habits when we met or before I got pregnant.
    I take full responsibility for my decisions.
    I allowed him to move in.
    I paid all expenses during his unemployment during my pregnancy.
    I chose to keep this baby – and she is the BEST part of my life!
    I married him after knowing of his habit and hoping he’d keep his commitment to clean it up and be a father to our baby.
    I witnessed his lack of ability or interest to parent the baby … and I made myself think it was okay that he “enjoyed” her while I cared for her.
    He has never once taken her to the park, on a walk, for an ice cream, to the pool on his own.

    We are both 40 years old.
    This is second marriage / family for both of us.
    We both have 2 older kids (ages 6-11).
    We met through our kids at church.

    I’m a college grad.
    Held professional jobs in technology and now healthcare industry in quality improvement.
    I make good money. But being solely responsible for fulltime daycare is a serious financial obligation.
    I have drained my savings (built before this relationship), changed/lowered our standard of living and will now face debt just to make ends meet.

    He’s a high school graduate and now has a town government job.
    Our town does a “good job” of overlooking drugs, pornography, work sex relations, and felonies in their HR hiring process and the same plus taking liberties with “work hours” once on the job.
    Meaning, he’s not at risk of losing this job … and so he’s not going anywhere.
    He makes enough to pay rent $800 month to a co-worker who doesn’t allow children.
    He has never offered to pay any portion of the baby’s basic needs: food, daycare, medical insurance, clothes.
    He has never bought her a holiday gift. Collectively, he hasn’t spent more than $50 on her since birth.

    I believe that I have the following options available (knowing the father) and need ethical / moral / legal help choosing a path, please.
    a. I can avoid contact with him, and he will likely make no attempt to see his daughter in exchange for not being legally ordered to financially support her. I believe this may be in the best emotional interest of my baby – at least until she can decide for herself whether she has interest in knowing him.
    b. I can file for custody and support and make a case that he have very limited supervised visitation (as he does with older children by court order) and allow the baby to “know” her father, permit him the choice and opportunity to reset priorities, and get “help” financially with her basic needs.
    c. I can seek support and then relocate with work far, far away! (Kind of kidding … but not really).

    My fear is that seeking assistance with child expenses equates to a life of continued anger, entitlement, manipulation, drama. Maybe that’s inevitable?

    I read a lot of the posting on your site before writing. I have never depended on ANYONE for financial security. Not my own folks for college or weddings. Never had a honeymoon. Don’t get manicures. Don’t want to ever enter the pool of CSMs. But am very, very tired of being Super Mom … and think that maybe I shouldn’t have to carry the load alone. If he’s not equipped to parent, maybe his only contribution is financial. And it “buys” me time to parent, rather than looking for additional work or short-changing my daughter of life opportunities.

    Other considerations:
    I am his second wife. He has court ordered child support for his other 2 children. It’s minimal (in my mind) at $160 / mo. But the mother has no living expenses and chooses not to work.
    He regularly offers her additional money “under the table” for additional visitation time … and before our relationship … for sex. She often accepts it.
    They take each other to court twice a year to fight over visitation. He consistently asks for more. And then consistently doesn’t show up for what little he’s granted.
    He’s currently entitled to 2 weekends a month, but he only chooses to take his 1 hour weekly supervised visitation and no overnights.
    He has IRS debt that is drawn from his income. He owes EVERYONE. He will always pay himself (drugs, dinners, entertainment first), others as ordered by law.

    I am financially responsible for my older 2 children.
    Their father pays child support as his income allows. It’s always used 100% on the kids.
    And they know that Dad makes it possible for them to have karate or dance lessons or school book orders.
    If it comes, it comes. If it doesn’t, we don’t count on it.
    Their father does more for and with them now then he ever did when married.

    Please help. Money is one issue … but my internal dilemma is really one of principal. Is it “right” that he should be held to some level of accountability to this child? Is it “protective” or “possessive” of me to want to distance my daughter from her father? Isn’t it better to be “happy” (away) than “right” (assisted)?