Only One Person Can Help Everyone Overcome “The System”

The exchange posted below is one between myself and a father who recently commented here on the Blog.

I feel it’s imperative to repost it here because until noncustodial parents (NCPs) begin to very carefully intellectualize, comprehend, and finally, act upon what’s discussed in that exchange; NCPs en masse will continue their very frustrating and equally vain search for that imaginary “magic bullet” that never has and never will exist.

That magical and mythological bullet is the one that addresses each and every hardship, roadblock, and injustice that many NCPs endure at the hands of their exes, the courts, the CSEAs, and all others who are the embodiment of Ohio’s Family Court System.

Moreover, what must also be intellectualized and understood to the same degree by every NCP, is that when it comes to “child support”, many of those who are the incarnate of the system couldn’t care less about them, their children, their hardships, nor the hardships that their children face because of their financially unbearable child support order.

Even worse, is that they care just as little about the fact that some fathers will eventually kill themselves after having been driving to the edge of sanity by the very same; those who also very piously and falsely claim to be acting only, “in the best interests of the children.”

So another child will grow up fatherless because he committed suicide after being driven to it by Ohio’s Family Courts and the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) CSEAs, and they care not. That’s inhumane, despicable, and utterly disgusting.

They care nothing for him nor his children, as they care only about maximizing the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) Federal Incentive Match (paid though a worker’s Social Security payroll tax) that’s strong-armed from NCPs through ODJFS’ collection agent; Ohio’s”Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA).

Ohio’s CSEA in my humble opinion is better known as Ohio’s Child Support Extortion Agency. I make that claim because they’ll shakedown innocents who don’t even owe child support or have a child support order in place. This recently filed lawsuit exposes Ohio’s illegal tactical shakedown methods in great detail. Personally, and by my moral standards, Ohio’s CSEA is operating an illegal and government sanctioned extortion ring.

People truly need to understand in depth just how corrupt, morally bankrupt, debased and contemptuously hateful towards NCPs (and their children) that Ohio’s CSEA is. An understanding of that is required before they can truly comprehend and thereby accept why most of the ODJFS and the CSEA incarnates couldn’t care less about them being homeless, without heat during Ohio’s brutally cold winters, and unable to feed themselves or their children that “visit” them.

The forthcoming is the exchange between Carl T. W. and myself. Please know that I find what he describes to be very sad. I do not say what I do because I’m calloused, cold-hearted, or indifferent towards him or his situation as that couldn’t be further from the truth. I Feel badly for him and his innocent and precious daughter, and truly empathize with him.


I’m in a different situation yet similar in the way that the Ohio “Child Support” System is screwing me over thick and thin. It may be a different story then some of the people posting here but I’m not sure how long before I’m in their position as well. To the story, I’ve been paying child support since last year and have never missed a payment. The only reason I had arreages is because the judge back dated the C.S. amount and calculated it to over $1000. I live in Ohio now back with family and my ex wife lives in Florida. I PAY for plane tickets to see my daughter every summer…and try to for christmas (although with the way C.S. is screwing me as of late I don’t know if that’ll happen this year and the judge nor C.S. seems to care). Recently they’ve been taking over $100 more than they are supposed too out of the checks I get from work (Where I work is as a longshoremen and I don’t get that much work at all and since the original court order for support my Unemployment benefits have gone down $100.) I actually have a lawyer who is trying to get us into a hearing asap, in which case I’m sure the courts delay these hearings as much as they can. Today I just read that they have a $65.00 amount ordered every week to take from my unemployment which is only $183.00. The original child support amount is $290.27 and they have already taken my income tax check this year and over paid themselves for my arreages. They took $390 from my work checks for the month of June and I wasn’t receiving unemployments for 2 1/2 weeks of it so i think the most I got for the month of June was $200 if I was lucky. My 190$ gross checks get knocked down to 150 without C.S. …with C.S. I’m left with a measely 50$. Now if I go back to work and they take from my work checks….AND unemployment I don’t even know how I’m going to afford to eat for the week and MY DAUGHTER IS WITH ME FOR THE SUMMER! What is the justice in this? I have bills like everyone else and have never missed a payment when it comes to the “regular time” I’ve had to pay and not the backdated amount the judge chose out of thin air. Now I’m running on fumes….I’m scrambling to find a job…I have a seek work order to find a consistent full time job and I do what I’m supposed to do. I apply to more than 20 jobs a month and why? So they can raise my support order when I do finally get an interview and get a full time job. I just don’t get where the logical thinking is in this system and if anyone knows of ANY HELP someone in my position can receive please let me know. I’m desperate at this point.



Contrary to your claim of “there’s no logic in this”, there in fact is; It’s called a “profit,” and the more “child support” the State of Ohio wrongfully seizes from you, the more profit they earn.

You also asked, “Now if I go back to work and they take from my work checks….AND unemployment I don’t even know how I’m going to afford to eat for the week and MY DAUGHTER IS WITH ME FOR THE SUMMER! What is the justice in this?”

You already know the answer to that, so I suspect you’re asking it out of utter frustration. There’s none, and the State of Ohio doesn’t care, nor do they care in the least about your daughter or you seeing your daughter. They care about one thing and one alone; ‘profit.’

The only way they can earn said profit is to collect ‘child support’, and that, lawfully or not. It doesn’t matter to Ohio as they will and do unlawfully collect what they’re not entitled too as alleged in this recently filed class action lawsuit whereby ODJFS among others is listed as a Defendant.

Please know that I mean no disrespect in saying what I’m about to, nor is it my intent to marginalize your situation as I’ve been where you are and can therefore truly empathize. However, until more people “get it” and truly believe the following and then get involved as a result, things won’t change.

Your situation is no different than countless others Carl. Most believe that their own situation is unique and that it’s only they who are “getting taken” by the system and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Additionally, and most importantly, you need to get involved. I’ve told the same to countless people over the years and only a small percentage actually do engage themselves.

That must change for the system to change. If you want help, you have to help yourself by getting actively involved in changing the system. The emails (and blog posts) I get from others asking for help are as endless as they are countless. If those same number of people had gotten involved since I started the organization in 2007, I believe that things would be different today.

That said, if you want help, help yourself; and you help yourself by getting involved. Again, I mean no disrespect towards you in stating that. It’s simply the truth and the only way to change “the system.”

If you don’t believe me, then consider this; there are hundreds of thousands (and probably) millions of “child support” paying noncustodial parents such as you who truly need help. To help them, either someone must provide free legal counsel, free housing, free money etc, or someone (the same people perhaps?) need to change the system.

What few consider when asking for free legal counsel for example is that attorneys, just like you and the rest of us, have bills, must provide for their families, and have to work too. Therefore, it’s honestly impossible (and at it’s core illogical) to think that there exists some organization or some attorneys and or law firms that can endlessly provide free legal counsel. Anyone who were to do that would be in dire straits and in need of help themselves as they too must earn a living.

Now do you understand why I say to everyone who asks me for help, “The best way to get help is to help yourselves by getting involved?”

There’s an upcoming and incredible opportunity that I’m presently working on that I know will in fact change the system. I’m working with others to form a national non-profit organization that will seek to address the very issues that you, I, and millions of other ‘child support’ paying noncustodial parents around the nation are facing. Are you interested in joining? Rest assured that said effort will change the system on a national level, but to do be effective in doing so, others must help themselves (merely by joining) to get the help they’re seeking.

Tony Fantetti

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12 Responses to Only One Person Can Help Everyone Overcome “The System”

  1. Dot says:

    There are so many websites and organizations aware of the injustices of the courts and the cs(extortion)agencies…we read so many of the same stories and imbalanced scales of fairness…If only all could combine in unison with the same motive…the ambition, passion and voice could be tremendous! I appreciate that you have commented on the Dunlop case. My web search inquiring where that stands in court from its 2011 May filing brought me to your website. I will look for you on Facebook where many of us “assemble” &”vent.” Good luck to you, and thanks, Tony!

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      You’re welcome Dot.

      We “can” combine in unison with the same motive, and you’re 100% correct, the passion and voice could (and will) be tremendous.

      I’m presently working with others to form a national non-profit organization that will give us all the very voice you seek. The website is currently under construction and membership recruitment will begin in the near future, and additional details will be posted here on the OCFFR Blog.

      Also, another pleading was filed in Mr. Dunlop’s case that I will be commenting on soon here on the Blog. It was MPP’s response to the State’s Motion to Dismiss, and to be quite frank and in my humble opinion, MPP’s Counsel utterly eviscerated the State’s argument in their pathetic attempt to have Mr. Dunlop’s case dismissed.



      • We need to meet at the front door at every state family cpirt houses in bulk and protest all at the same date im a father doing the right thing but my kids think im a piece of crap cause i cant afford to see them (imstatesaway ) and cant send them christmas or birthday presants (do you think the mother can write my name on even just one gift they get them i do give them ALOT monthly so chating and crap ill be long gone by the time something happens so we need to take a a stand theres tons of us what can they due inprison all of us or shoot us all? do me the favor …your poor undeadbeat dad

        • Tony Fantetti says:

          And until we do, change will be very slow to come. Kansas is going after a sperm donor, and I have been saying for years that they were next. The man had a contract that absolved him of all financial responsibility and relieved him of his parental rights.

          But as we all know, in “Family Court,” the phrase (and that’s all it is) “the best interests of the child” trumps all and also conveniently relieves a father of all his Constitutional rights. My how far this country has fallen.

          Tony Fantetti

    • Not true unite and fight (protest at every cs .fmily law office and protest we are many we can open the eyes of all so lets quit talking about the cants and start talking about the cans quicker results how do we get the wod out

  2. Stacey says:

    I am reading all the personal stories and cries for help, and I can’t even beleive we are talking about the same Child Support Enforcement Agency. I divorced in 2003, never received child support that I did not have to go to great danger to collect myself and mail in. This would include crack houses, threatening to expose people (illegal businesses) for employing my ex under the table, because they run businesses under the table. yet CSEA has done nothing to help, just covers up all their mistakes such as failure to send Income Withholding to employers, be forced to file contempt, lose evidence at court hearings that expose under the table employers, the list goes on and on. Those of you who pay child support and fall into hard times would be so angry if you heard my 8 year story. The child support enforcement agency has no clue how to deal with deadbeat parents, nor do they want to be bothered. They only know how to torture the ones who try. I am so sorry for you all. They need to get rid of this agency for they are a waste of taxpayers money and they would rather push people to get on welfare than work to collect child support, what I thought they got paid to do. I am owed $43,000.00 and have tried everything under the sun to collect. If I didn’t feed my dog I would get more jail time than my ex or the people who make it possible for this to happen ever will. Those of you who try to pay, you should be very upset!!!!

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      They need to get rid of this agency for they are a waste of taxpayers money and they would rather push people to get on welfare than work to collect child support, what I thought they got paid to do.

      The reason they push people to get on welfare is because they have to in order to collect their child support profit from the Federal Goverment’s annual “federal incentive match” that’s paid through every taxpayer’s social security payroll tax. By that I mean that no county in the State of Ohio will provide welfare benefits until a custodial parent (CP) places their signature on a piece of paper that grants the county (and through it the State through ODJFS) the authority to collect child support payments on their behalf.

      The state holds welfare benefits as the carrot for the CP to grant them the ability to collect child support payments (after all, why not just have the noncustodial parent (NCP) pay the CP directly as it used to be?) because only child support payments that passed through the hands of the local county CSEA can be counted towards the State’s annual federal incentive match aka “child support profit.”

  3. susief59 says:

    my son is going thru a very tough time, since june he has taken take of his son from sunday-wed morning and nite, going to work, finding daycare, all the right ways to take care of his son. now his ex has taken the son, wont let his dad see him. my son has contacted the courts, children services, and all that is happening he get pushed from one person to the other, with no answers. the child mother is very unstable, moves from one place to other, staying in a one bedroom apt with her mom, sister, and who knows who else. my son is a hard worker, has a apartment he has had for two years now, two bedroom, a stable job, a stable sitter for the little boy. we need some answers, the laws are always in the moms favor, doesnt matter what the father does or trys to do. the mothers can change whatever, just to fit their needs with no consideration of the child or dad. where can we go to get assistance with this matter. my son has a stable job but not the best pay, so legal fees are what is the problem to hire a attorney. if you can offer any suggestions or help please do, thanks

  4. Karen says:

    I’m a grand-mother and have watched my grown child suffer for years while his ex uses my granddaughter as a tool for her vengeful behaviour. (don’t want to use names here). Court ordered mandated documents and contempt charges are treated as scrap paper. Paying the courts to right the wrong this woman has done seems to have just served the purpose of lining some pockets in the court system without the justice it supposedly stands for.
    I want to join your movement for change! I feel for you all for the ripple effects of one spans out to us all.

  5. Mike says:

    So how does one go about getting involved? The whole program is obviously a sham.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Mike, engage in letter writing campaigns, support organizations that are fighting against this madness, write your politicians and consider politics yourself, seriously. Start by running for your local school board (where many politicians have started their legal careers) and move up from there. Rallies and protest are another means.