The Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) is Sued for ‘Stealing’ $84,506.14

As if the class action lawsuit filed by Matthew Dunlop against the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) didn’t already shed a very truthful and exceedingly ugly light on the Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs) nearly criminal child support collection practices, the most recent lawsuit exposes what I’d call a blatantly criminal albeit state-sanctioned enterprise.

James Cullinan an Ohio father has filed this case against the State of Ohio’s Department of Jobs and Family Services for wrongfully and what appears to be (to me at least)  illegally, taking more than $84,000 from Cullinan by double-collecting his child support payments over a period of about six years as alleged in his complaint.

Cullinan states in the complaint that he was ordered to pay $1,330.78 per month in child support in the summer 0f 1999. Additionally, he set up a separate bank account whereby through that account, the bank sent his child support payments directly to ODJFS.

Nonetheless, and despite there being no mention of Cullinan ever being behind in his obligation, and notwithstanding him already making the payments, ODJFS issued a wage withholding order to his employer in November 2004 whereby they began helping themselves to an additional $1,330.78 per month from Cullinan’s pay.

Before I continue, if you question my assertion (that reflects my opinion only)  that the State of Ohio through ODJFS stole that money, please stop and consider the following.

First, if any bank, or fitness club, or auto dealer, etc, that for years collected a double monthly payment on a loan or contract etc whereby they took from someone $84,000 that they weren’t entitled to, their CEO (and perhaps others) would be immediately arrested and criminally charged with ether fraud, or theft by deception, fraudulent conversion or something of the sort.

Secondly, despite the State of Ohio knowing they were double-collecting child support from Cullinan, they continued to do so, then refused to refund his money. How do I know they refused you wonder? It’s simple, had the State complied, Cullinan’s civil complaint wouldn’t have been filed and therefore pending in the Ohio Court of Claims as it is now.

Think about this; Matthew Dunlop filed his recent class action lawsuit, now Cullinan steps forward and demonstrates with his case that Ohio may have stolen more than $84,000 from him, so what else is out there that we don’t know about? Are we to believe that this is just another isolated case where mistakes were “unintentionally” made? I think not.

With the way Ohio has very aggressively and very hatefully collected missed child support payments over the past decade, rest assured that the State combs the accounts regulary for “deadbeats.” There’s no not noticing regular overpayments and excessive credit balances that ODJFS at this point to me at least appears to be willingly building up for the sole purpose of increasing their child support profits.

I have maintained for years that the State of Ohio through its live televised  “deadbeat dad” roundups, wanted billboards, wanted pizza boxes, wanted posters, wanted web sites etc, engaged in those practices not out of the “best interest of the children” as they always falsely proclaimed; but rather, they did so only to hide their very corrupt profiteering from their “child support” collections efforts.

Over the last decade, the State of Ohio has profited from child support collections in excess of $500,000,000. Or stated otherwise, a half billion dollars in profits at the emotional and physical expense of Ohio’s precious and innocent children. In reality, their profits are probably closer to one billion, but who’s counting?

How is over-collecting child support at the expense of the children you ask? It’s emotionally and physically so due to the horrendous conditions that many noncustodial parents (NCPs) are forced to live in after being bankrupted (or in the very least financially decimated) by their unbearable child support orders. And if they’re living that way, then so are their children when they visit with them.

There were many parents like myself who after meeting their child support obligtion (and due to incredibly high child support orders) had  very little money left over with which they could actually support themselves and their wonderful children. “Existing” without heat, utilities, or adequate food supplies, shelter, clothing or other basic necessities is not to be equated nor confused with sufficiently supporting oneself.

Many like me lost their homes, some were forced into homelessness (and therefore could no longer have their children “visit” them), many had no heat in their “homes” during Ohio’s brutally cold Midwest winters. So is that really in a child’s “best interest” when they have to sleep in a house with no heat (and in some cases no utilities whatsoever) because the NCP has little to no money left to support themselves after they’ve had their child support deducted from their net pay? Or, if they can’t afford to buy food when they’re left with $10 per week to “support” themselves after child support is deducted from their check?

Others like me had to “garbage pick” multiple nights per week in order to have items to sell at “yard sales” so as to put food on the table. Children like my daughter had to pick bugs out of the food they were eating because the NCP couldn’t afford to throw away food that was found to have bugs in it. Is eating bugs really in a child’s best interest as the State would have us believe?

Make no mistake, Ohio’s child support collections efforts have never been about “the best interests of the children.” In fact it’s quite to the contrary, as their collection efforts have always been in Ohio’s best financial interest at the emotional and physical expense (as I’ve described herein) of Ohio’s precious children.

I’ve argued for years (and truthfully so) that Ohio has demonized all NCPs (especially fathers, aka those villainous “deadbeat ‘”dads'”) in newspapers, on TV, billboards etc,  in order to demonize them and thereby hide their Machiavellian child support collection tactics from a very naive populace.

By using their disingenuous mantra “the best interest of the children” as their
cause celebre to very hatefully, haughtily and shamelessly make synonymous  “deadbeat dad” with all single fathers, Ohio could (and did) both brazenly and arrogantly, bash those loving  fathers in nearly all public forums and with absolute impunity.

It’s exceedingly important that you understand that Ohio had to create a straw man (the very elusive and equally mythological “deadbeat dad”) so as to hide their “illegal” (as demonstrated by the recent lawsuits) seizing of monies that were not child support, but stolen nonetheless and labeled as such in order to effect said theft under a very dark color of law.

And that, while on one hand Ohio in a very perverted manner pretended to commiserate with the millions of Ohio children who were from broken homes and in many cases, were reeling emotionally and in utter turmoil from having experienced the horrific effects of having their worlds turned upside-down through no fault of their own. But with the other hand, the State of Ohio was shamelessly and crookedly shaking down their dads in thousands of cases (114,000 is the estimate) by mining his pockets for dollars that were far in excess of his and her (for noncustodial (NC) moms) child support obligation.

The State’s vile, despicable and perverted actions were waylaid against hundreds of thousands of Ohio’s very loving and innocent NC mothers and fathers in a very fallacious manner. And one that was undertaken with the sole intent of wrongfully and inaccurately publicly demonizing them in order to imbue the public with an insatiable and seething hatred of all fathers (who were labeled  “deadbeat dads”) that fell behind unwilling or otherwise, in their child support obligations.

To this very day, there’s absolutely no tolerance by the public for any father who has unwillingly fallen behind in his child support obligation, and despite us presently living in the worst economy and the highest extended unemployment in roughly 80 years.

So what’s a child support paying father to do after he’s laid off through no fault of his own, his company has closed, moved its operations overseas, and he has zero chance of finding a like job in for instance a highly specialized field? Why he’s to go to jail of course. Shame on him! Don’t believe me? Well, it’s not my opinion, but start polling others and you’ll likely find it’s that of most of the populace’s.

In the court of public opinion, it’s okay if a mother spends child support monies on herself, or she refuses to purchase for a child involved with those child support dollars, braces because she “can’t afford it”, or because her car broke down, or some other unexpected bill or a calamity has befallen her. That’s so because the public tends to be very propitious towards “single moms” while being incredibly hateful towards single dads, many of whom didn’t ask (nor choose) to be single in the first place. It was unwillingly forced upon them (and their children) by single moms in many cases.

And that, despite the fact that in the majority of cases, the mom chose to be a “single mom” by divorcing the father of ‘her’ children or by otherwise kicking him out of their child’s life. Fathers on the other hand are regularly pilloried by the public, media etc. Don’t believe me? Then start paying attention to commercials, TV shows, and ads and you’ll see for yourself how dads and men in general are treated as wooden and perfunctory dolts who’re incapable of accomplishing anything notable or worthwhile.

In fact, in more cases than not, the child support paying father would be demonized and blamed for “not paying enough child support” if a single-mom-by-choice claimed she couldn’t afford braces for her child despite her monthly child support award being enough to do just that. And that would be so notwithstanding the fact that the father is (and has) paid everything as ordered by the court since the inception of the court’s support order.

So why is that so? I’ll tell you why. For over ten years, the State of Ohio has done nothing but publicly impinge Ohio’s single fathers by very publicly (and wrongfully) maligning, castigating and denigrating Ohio’s single dads to create what I said; a straw man whereby Ohio could quietly and elusively rip off and steal from fathers such and Dunlop and Cullinan so as to financially profit (through Ohio’s two percent processing fee and the “Federal Incentive Match” search the blog for those words for an explanation of it) to form a very negative image of single dads in the minds of the public.

That was necessary in order to get the public on board and comfortable with today’s
de facto standard of not just bashing and denigrating single dads, but doing so while gleefully jubilating in the ideology that single dads are essentially the incarnate of evil. By imbuing the public with that perception (just look around you, it’s everywhere) they are in their ignorance convinced that single dads are disinterested in child rearing, don’t love their children, are incapable of being an effective parent and are therefore to be relegated to the status of trash in the court of public opinion.

By doing that, any single father who was to come forward publicly or otherwise to to complain of abuse by the courts, by the Child Support Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs),  or of financial hardships and bankruptcy as a result of a crushing and exceedingly high “child support” obligation was said to be a “deadbeat” who just wanted to “get out of supporting his children.” And when in fact it’s very much to the contrary.

Think about that for a moment; as parents, there are thousands if not tens or hundreds of thousands of things we do for our children over the course of their lives. Child support for the noncustodial parent(NCP) is only one of  those thousands of things, so why don’t we hear about the other thousands of loving deeds an NCP does for their children? 

I’ll tell you why, it’s only because the State of Ohio doesn’t earn a financial profit (to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars)  off of the other thousands of loving deeds an NCP happily performs while supporting their child(ren). However, child support profits pay Ohio and it pays dearly as explained, and to the tune of $223,000,000 in 2004 which I believe was Ohio’s “most profitable” year ever.

That having been said, a very naive populace has been conditioned by Ohio (through various campaigns over the years) to hate single fathers, denigrate them, and look upon them as nothing more than an ATM machine. That’s so because it’s implied that there’s nothing else they can (or want to)  offer their children. 

That’s a wholesale lie, and it  couldn’t be further from the truth. But that thinking has been sold to (and bought by) the public by various Ohio pitchmen (IE Kim Newsom Bridge’s Ohio CSEA Director’s Association (OCDA) and ODJFS) for more than a decade now.

To put it in perspective, consider how politicians manipulate the media to malign and falsely portray their opponents. Well, the State of Ohio has done the same for more than ten years, only their opponent, the very target of Ohio’s exceedingly abusive and hateful propoganda, has been the hundreds of thousands of very good and equally loving single fathers who want nothing more than to love and support their children in all regards. Not just through child support payments.

However, with the filing of Dunlop’s and Cullinan’s lawsuits against ODJFS, Ohio’s very deceptive, draconian, highly abusive and seemingly illegal and possibly criminal “child support” collections practices are going to be brought to light in a court of law.

With those two cases having been filed, it causes one to wonder just how many more “aberrations” are out there in Ohio. If the allegations against ODJFS, were made against you, I, or some private entity, it  would surely land one or more persons behind bars.

And that, under some felony indictment that contained the words “criminal”, fraud”, “inducement”, or “theft” among others. Mak eno mistake, the State is going to have a very difficult time keeping hidden (as they’ve done so well thus far) their highly questionable and quite possibly criminal and illegal “child support” collection tactics. Tactics whereby it appears they’ve thus far they’ve stolen from loving Ohio fathers hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of dollars that the State was never legally authorized to take.

So tell me,  who are “the bad guys” now? Is it Ohio’s many good and loving single fathers, or is it the State’s numerous actors in the child support theatre, who out of Ohio’s best financial interests only, and interests that can only be achieved at the emotional and physical expense of Ohio’s precious and innocent children, are literally ripping off and stealing from the paycheck of Ohio’s struggling single fathers?

And thereby, through those same father’s bank accounts and paychecks the State is stealing directly from the very children that Ohio purports to be acting, “only in the best interests of.” That’s so,  because now those fathers don’t have those monies (that the State ‘stole’) to spend on their children as they see fit so as to act in their best interests. And why don’t they? Only because the State pilfered them to earn a profit off of the backs of Ohio’s precious children.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

so as to create
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60 Responses to The Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) is Sued for ‘Stealing’ $84,506.14

  1. Michael Farrell says:

    My four children were taken in July of 07 and three of them are still in a foster home.
    At that time I had a morgage and lived in a 2200sqft home in the PriceHill part of Cincinnati.I had worked at the same Co since 01/89,and was working about 60hrs a week and earning about 45k a year to support my family of six.(was eight but step kids moved out) My kids were taken by 241kids for jumping off the garage roof into our above ground swiming pool.A nabour lady that formed a block watch recorded the video
    of my children and there friends in this act and called 241kids and the cincinnati police.The news trucks showed up at my house along with 241kids case workers,building inspectors,health dept personal,etc.You get the picture,they turned in into a circus and charged my then wife with child endangerment and put her in jail with a 25k bond.
    The building inspector/health dept trumped up about 15 violations on my home saying they must be taken care of before the children can return.They ordered me to install a hand rail on the front steps leading to my front porch,they wanted my chimney to be torn down or replaced,repaint all painted serfaces on the outside of my brick home.repair or replace all concrete that had cracks on my property,remove or rebuild my two car garage,repair defective wireing in my home,etc,etc,you get the picture.The wife and I already had plans to get a divorce so I walked away from that house and rented a small three bedroom home to fight HCJFS and free my children.
    Six months later the children were still in foster care and child support enforcement stepped in and ordered me to pay $190 a wk support and my unemployed homemaker wife to pay $140 per week support.ProKids got involved,but as far as Im concerned,prokids and 241kids sleep togather,meaning they excest only to collect on some of the revanue generated by the state taking children from parents.
    In April of 2008 after working there 19 years,the company I worked at closed its doors and I started drawing unemployment checks of only $365 a week as my children were not in my custidy.Childsupport started takeing about $197 a week from my checks leaving me $168 a week on my unemployment checks.This was not enuf money for me to live on and keep the rented three br home I was living in while trying to get my kids back.I had to get into my 401k money to make ends meet and went thur that money in 18 months leaving $400 in my 401k. In June of 2009 I went to the VA hospital here in Cincinnati and complained of hard coughing and blacking out a few times,I was a smoker.Test told them that I had severe COPD and I applyed for disability.Four months later on Oct 13th 2009,I again went to the VA hospital with severe chest pains and test showed I was having heart attacks.12 hours later I was getting a triple bypass done on me at University Hospital.This helped my disability claim and I was approved in January of 2010 for a check of $1561 a month.About eight months later I recived a letter from my bank with a copy of a court order that let the childsupport collection agency raid my account and remove close to $1000 from my checking account that they claimed was owed to them.I called childsupport to complain and told them that they were double dipping since my SSDI was paying my support.I had to go to court to get my money back and stop any future MISTAKES from happining.Since renting this house in Oct of 08,the judge has allowed my children to do overnight visits and stay weekends,but 241kids and prokids keep fighting the return of my children to me.They brought up my health issues but placed my four children in a foster home with a 78 year old man with a pacemaker that failed and he died last year.Now 241kids and prokids want to termanate my parental rights and put Jeremy(10) and Rebecca(13) up for adoption to get them off the books as they say the state can no longer afford to keep them in foster care,and they don,t want me to get them becouse I would still need state or federal help with the expences,food stamps,medical cards,etc.I am a former Marine and am trying to prepair for the day someone hits the reset button in this country as our government is out of control and is no longer a country for the people.The truth fairy will have lots of work to do at that time.

    • Andrea says:

      This is ridiculous! I thought my story was sad, and disgraceful- what a shame that ALL of the AGENCIES can not manage to do the right thing. Their “Best Practices” suck….

  2. karla says:

    Wow…Im still trying to collect 14,000 from a dead beat dad..I jsut had to learn to support my children the best way I could. My spouse however got hit with paying child support for his daughter who became pregnant at 15 and was ordered to pay her mother child support for the grandchild too. THATS double dipping and a crock of crap..as a father he was paying his support to take care of his child why would any one have to pay child support for a grandchild answer that?

    • Ace says:

      Excuse me Mrs. Karla but what state is that if u don’t mind me asking?

    • Tammy says:

      I’m sorry but I don’t feel bad for FR organizations when they have access to billions and billions of dollars to federal grant $$$ to help them fight this when single mothers have no access to it whatsoever! This father can get $$$ from the Fathers Initiative group to combat this problem. There are millions of single mothers who’ve tried desperately for years to get child support and couldn’t get a penny and they don’t have access to ANY of this $$ to help them even protect their children from abuse! http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/RL31025.pdf

      • Tony Fantetti says:

        Tammy,

        Did you even read what you linked to? If you did, then you’re clearly confused as you’re conflating two very different issues. “Father’s Rights” and FROs have absolutely nothing to do with “Responsible Fatherhood Initiatives”, which is what that link describes. “Responsible Fatherhood Initiatives” operate on false assumptions (the main one being that all absent fathers are the blame for “being absent”), are more about reducing welfare (for mothers and children), and do little more than what politicians, the media, and the general public have done for decades; lecture fathers about fathering. Most fathers who are absent from their children’s lives aren’t willingly so, it was decided for them (contested in many cases) by the mother of his children.

        What’s truly needed are responsible motherhood programs to educate mothers about the known risks (documented in that link) of father absenteeism, and dissuading mothers from choosing to become single mothers in the first place. In doing so, they’re creating the very situation (woe is me) they complaining about; being a single mom. The overwhelming majority of single mothers made the choice, one way or another, to become single mothers, period. And no sympathy is warranted for those who unilaterally decided without just moral cause to rip her children’s father away from them, kick him out of their lives and vice-versa, then demand to be paid mommy welfare aka ‘child support’ for doing so! What those mothers deserve is ridicule and scorn.

        I can write an entire post on your comment and the PDF in your link, and I will.

        Tony

  3. Cory cullum says:

    i owe $600 a month and if I dot take the over time of seventy hours week I wouldnt make enough to keep me motiveded to hold to my job.i`ve been married for a least a year and they are making me pay a support for my daughter that stays with me a ive been there in the household beforelllllllll l her birth.i pay$300 just fo her and atthe tme of est

  4. janie says:

    I raised my son for 15 years….took his dad back after 15 yrs for more money…he got 40,000 dollar raise ….I been for last three years been sick…raising him in suburbs very expensive place for good school systems like his dad wanted ……he mulipulated for son to live with him ……………now I pay child support and cant work full timeI havent made over 10,0000 in two yrs and he makes 110,000 yr last 2 and I pay half what he paid in 15 yrs…….also wont let me see him……and back child support until court was over is caculated wrong and there is nothing I can do about it….thats what they told me….until I get on disabilty they cant lower it even if I dont make minuim wage….lets not forget I dont even get to see him anymore¡

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Janie,

      Don’t expect the “child support” order to be lowered if you’re forced to go on disability. What one makes with regard to what they’re ordered to pay in Ohio courts is irrelevant.

      I’ve seen many situations where fathers were order to pay more per month in “child support” than they actually made.

      Finally, the State of Ohio doesn’t care that you don’t see your son. All they care about is the profit they make off of your “child support” payments.

      • Heidi Colvin says:

        While I do not condone the things child support is doing to you, ma’am, I have to answer to Tony Fantetti. My ex-husband takes home a $400 pay check, a week, and that’s after child support is taken out. He only has to pay $180 a month in child support and he is still in arrears of over $1000. The court stated that is what he had to pay and therefore Child Support Enforcement has stuck to that. Even though I only work part-time, go to school full-time, and have to live on a minimal income and raise our son. I was awarded custody after my ex admitted to drug addiction. So, as it stands he walks around with over $400 dollars a week, after taxes and child support, and doesn’t contribute to our son’s welfare at all, yet is always broke because he spends it on drugs. I asked if they could raise his child support, and they said I would have to take him back to court for that. So, while they may make it difficult for some, others they just let them get away with not paying anything, or next to nothing for the children they helped create. The way you make it sound, the payers are the victims. That’s not always the case. So try to distinguish between that please.

        • Tony Fantetti says:

          With all due respect Heidi, in nearly every case I’ve been involved with, the payers (obligors) are undoubtedly the victims.

          And in most cases overall, I do believe that the obligor (be they moms or dads) are being victimized as they are being stolen from.

          So with regard to your request to make a distinction, I respectfully decline, as I feel that to do so is both unfair and unjust.

          Although if you feel inclined to further argue that point, that’s you’re prerogative, however I’d surely be in disagreement for the most part.

          I feel that in most cases, “child support” is the moral equivalency of theft, and that when it’s “all said and done”, God will judge it as such.

          Although in defense of your position Heidi, and not that I think that you care what I say, because I don’t; yours is a case where I believe child support is both warranted and morally just.

          Sincerely,

          Tony Fantetti

  5. janie says:

    P.S I dont plan on filing disiabilty to get my child support …..I never filed unemployment since Ive been sick ….maybe thats why there is a bunch of dead beets out there being charged to much for what they make…..thanks child support for making money off my child or stealing it.

  6. anonomys says:

    Odjfs is a joke and especially when it comes to the caseworkers. when u apply for any sort of benifits thru them, they are supposed to help needy families but they want to have a bad attitude and find every little reason to not issue u benefits. they will nit pick to find a reason to not give you fs or cash asst. i do not understand how it is skin off their butts and i cant wait to see the day that most these caseworkers will be out of their jobs and they will be the ones sitting on the same side of the desk that u once were. its the govt’s fault that americans are jobless. the way i see it is these caseworkers need to get their act together and do their job and not sit at their desk reading womens day magazines or sitting in the dark with just a night light on. the office here in miami county ohio is known very good for having workers there that do that. i just hope that these goverments will wisen up and investigate these lazy caseworkers. its not like the office is jammed packed with people because they do

  7. anonomys says:

    Not see people or do interviews at their office. they do everything over the phone now. and if u get approved for benefits, then they turn around and wrongfully sanction you. i just got sanctioned for mistakenly putting down a wrong city for a job i applied for, and not to mention that i just got a letter saying they are sanctioning me for the month of january and i never applied for cash then. they have the dates messed up but thats ok for them to do but its wrong for me to accidently write a wrong city. now i have to take them to court because in the last 2 wks both my husband and i have applied for 88 jobs and none of them are hiring and i gotta survive and support my kids somehow and going thru jfs isnt want i want to do but i have no other option. something needs to be done with these lazy caseworkers and they also need an attitude adjustment and a major reality check cause its only gonna get worse!

    • Shasha says:

      yes, the case workers do not do their job. I also believe they “deem” who is eligible for assistance, not who need it. I lost my job, have 2 kids, dead beat dad, and from Jan-Jul made over 7,000,, guess what I AM NOT ELIGIBLE unreal. MY income is a big whoping ZERO and I am not eligible. Plus this spring with income tax rebates, oh yes they did seize the dead beats taxes, but they kept nearly half of it. I tried to get answers why I didnt receive it all, I mean after all it was owed to me, but all they did was send me a statement that I could already view online. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. anonomys says:

    I cant understand if jfs doesnt want to help people like us that are honest and never needed the system until this recession hit, then why do they or the govt put it out there for the public? most the govt money is being wasted on these caseworkers that dont wanna work or answer a phone and thats part of the reason why americans are so fed up. they only give u 3 days to get your info in or u get denied but they get 30 days before they decide to approve or deny u for benefits. well lets figure they have 29 1/2 days to sit and goof off and just less than half a day to push a button to approve or deny u while u sit and struggle on how your going to pay late rent and how u r gonna come up with your next meal.

  9. Megan says:

    Personally, I’ve seen many different sides of odjfs. I have a deadbeat father in my life who hasn’t seen his daughter in two years and jfs couldn’t care less… and also one who is one of the most amazing fathers in the world and he’s being screwed by the system. First and foremost, my husband is an amazing father who dotes on his daughters every chance he gets. Unfortunately for him he has a little girl with a woman who is manipulative, controlling and lazy. The problems started with her before she even got pregnant. She cheated him on him with half of our town so naturally when he found out she was pregnant he had reservations about whether or not the baby was his. Me and him got together around a month after she found out she was. He went with her to doctors appointments up until she was 7 months, because they got in a fight about him not “being there for her,” but in reality (even though she had already started seeing the other guy she claimed might be the dad) her problem was that he was with me.. we were happy, and at this point he had pretty much adopted my daughter (who i’ll get to in a sec). After that fight we didn’t hear from her again until his daughter was three days old. She didn’t even tell us she had had her, a friend did. They agreed that he would stay away until the paternity test showed the results, and when the baby (I’ll call her Abby) was about two months old the tests came back and sure enough, she was his. We were informed, that even tho my husband was Abby’s biological father, that “Kristi’s” boyfriend “Rob”, would be called daddy, and my husband would be called papi. Because “Rob” had been there the whole pregnancy.. and blah blah blah. During this time (2009-2010) my husband was having a rough time holding down a job, he started off relatively crappy when it came to his child support. But, he truly was trying his best to stay caught up. He was mesmerized by Abby, and loved her from the moment he first held her when she was 3 days old. In fact, even though “daddy” was with her day in and day out, Abby, still called her papi ‘dada’ first. We thought everything was going okay, which is the only reason when they had their first initial meeting with the child support lawyer at j&fs he didn’t push for visitation to be established in writing. We were getting her nearly every day because my husband had gotten an apartment in Union City, even though we lived in Greenville. Just because she wouldn’t let us have her in greenville. The first time she took her away from us was when Abby was six months old. She got a hair up her ass because we couldn’t afford to have two households, and my hubby’s landlord wouldn’t allow him to have our dog in the apt. We couldn’t leave the dog in gville, due to the amount of time we were spending in union city with Abby. So before we even decided to give up the apartment, we talked it over with Kristi, to make sure she would let us bring Abby to greenville. Since, by now it was apparent that Abby was used to her routine. She informed us this was fine. However, immediately gave us problems. She completely ignored us for a full blown 6 weeks. Finally she came around, since my husband had continued to stay regular at this point with paying his (now behind) child support payments. One month later we found out we were expecting. Within two days of telling Kristi our news, she dropped off the face of the earth again. It would be another two full months before we saw Abby again. At this point, I’m sure you’re wondering why we didn’t take her to court. He had lost his job, and once again was on the hunt, he was behind in child support, and we were supporting a household, my daughter and my son. Times were hard. We were able to patch things up around Abby’s first birthday in september 2010, only to have her taken once again in November and December. Even though, our lease was up in greenville and in November we had moved TWO BLOCKS away from her. She claimed that Abby was getting ear infections, from the smell of cat urine that unfortunately took over our downstairs (because of nasty former renters). However I’m sure the fact that her and her boyfriends incessant habit of chain smoking around Abby nearly every minute of the day had nothing to do with it. Things took a turn for the better in January 2011 when our daughter was born. My husband caught up his child support with his tax return, Abby started having regular visits at our house, even staying over night. Even despite, My husband leaving the state in April for two months to train for a new job, and then being sent to a different state again to actually start the job. The only things that did get hurt were us not being able to see him, and the fact that his training and the first two months of his job were unpaid, thus getting him behind in child support again. Finally, he began being paid in August of 2011, and by October it was his full salary. But, being that we were getting nowhere again paying for two households. The decision was made that me and the three other children would have to move to iowa with him. Forcing us to try to work out a schedule with Kristi, to come back and visit monthly (cause thankfully his work schedule allows us to). Our first visit back was during Christmas, after moving at the very beginning of November. There were some problems, but we did get to see Abby quite a bit for the two weeks we were there. We left January 1st, and saw her Dec 31st. Her mom wouldn’t answer the phone for us to tell her goodbye on the 1st. By this time he had paid his child support every month since september. He chooses to pay the lump sum he owes each month on the 15th. In January he didn’t make his payment until the 23rd. Which is when we finally heard from Kristi. Basically telling us that because he isn’t consistent on his monthly payment it is messing up her rent (she lives in a housing complex apartment, and doesn’t work and hasn’t worked in the three years I’ve been with my husband) which is forty some dollars a month. He asked her why she hasn’t answered and she said it’s because he hadn’t paid his child support. He told her that he was getting a lawyer to draw up visitation papers because in the 2 1/2 years little Abby’s been alive she has stayed over at our house MAYBE 30 times. When we do have her, they call and ask to pick her up so that “Rob” can see her since he’s ‘off work and hasn’t seen her all day,’ even though my husband is expected to go a full month without seeing her and has only had her for two or three hours. She has the nerve to respond ‘She’s only two, you expect her to go more then one whole day without seeing her MOM!’ Excuse me for a moment while I say BOO-F*CKIN-HOO!! He’s her REAL dad and has barely gotten to see her her WHOLE life… anyway before I really go off on a tangent. What in any of this has to do with odjfs?? I’ll tell you…
    When my husband was getting ready to come to ohio, to move me and my children to iowa with him, we hadn’t seen him in two months. He had been working and saving every penny, as was I, to pay for the move. He was also PAYING HIS CHILD SUPPORT. The 272.63 that he owed each month (while only 43.00 actually goes to his back support, getting him absolutely nowhere in paying that off). Yet odjfs went into his account and took out every penny he had saved (Nearly $600).. they say it is for a one time fee of not reporting that he was working for himself!! (My husband is a sub-contractor techinically for the company he works for) Are kidding me?? A $600 fee.. and NONE of that went to his back support. Thankfully, he had enough money on him still to make it back to ohio, and his boss was nice enough to advance his next week’s paycheck. Kristi calls constantly to check on her child support payments and find out information, and my husband calls, and the caseworker ‘can’t divulge any information’ .. she has sat on her ass in government housing the last THREE YEARS and yet nothing happens to her. ODJFS makes it VERY clear that they care NOTHING about the welfare of these children. .. Furthermore, my daughters biological father hasn’t given a damn about her since I found out I was having her. His first response was ‘get rid of it.’ She is currently 3 1/2 years old and he hasn’t seen her since she was 11 months. Before then he had only saw her four times.. because I brought her to him and attempted to make him apart of her life. He dodged getting a paternity test for her until she was almost 18 months old by not showing up to THREE different appointments. Not the ODJFS cared. Then I was told that they were going to start the support order from the date of the test, INSTEAD of the date that I initially filed for it, which was when ‘Lilah’ was two weeks old. So for the first 18months of her life, he owes NOTHING.. which in my opinion is complete b/s. It took him FOREVER to start paying his support too. I got my first payment, probably 6 months after the support order, and it was pretty sporadic after that. He’s been so brazen as to only pay FIVE dollars on it, on numerous occasions. He is over $3000 behind at this point, yet do you think that he has ONCE seen the inside of a jail cell.. HELL NO. He gets out of it by making a tiny payment here and there, to make it look like he’s making an “effort.” Now, because I attempted to wash my hands of the situation by telling this deadbeat that once he gets caught up my husband will adopt Lilah, thus relieving him of his support obligation. Well, complications arose and we retracted this offer, and he got upset and is now in the process of having our support order reviewed.. don’t know yet how that will go. But it should be interesting.

    I’m just sick of GREAT fathers getting a bad rap because of actual DEADBEATS… and of LAZY MANIPULATIVE moms using their children as PAWNS…

  10. jessie says:

    There is a huge difference in the lazy, welfare breeders that think that they have one obligation, to get whatever they can, from whoever they can, by doing nothing but getting pregnant over and over and it works for them. And then there are the hard working, struggling people who fight every, single day ,just to survive and when we count on the system that we have paid into to help us out, we get sh*t on and screwed royally without the lube. It is ludicrous how this supposed great system fails the ones who rely on it the most. I am tired of being looked down on because I am a single mom. I bust my ass everyday to make a better future for myself and I am an OBLIGOR through child support that has LEGAL CUSTODY OF ALL OF MY CHILDREN! Give me 5 years, I am law school bound and I will turn the corrupted joke of a system up side down!

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Jessie,

      I sure hope that one day intend to run to be a judge, in ‘Family Court’ especially.

      Tony

  11. Mike says:

    im paying temp. support to my wife who was fired from her job by her own hand. now im stuck with paying half of my monthly check to her. our divorce is not over and has been going on for 15 months in Trumbull County due to her extending the court dates. she lives with her mother and only has a hand full of bills. she also has a masters degree. it has been 10 months since she was fired and unemployment was denied to her for her actions. theres no children, i have the house and just a little property. i was also charged 20% more for support because they said i was late on payments. i wasnt. it took them 3 months to process the paperwork. i have gotten nowhere with them. i am now broke and on the edge of bankruptcy. i will lose everything because she wont work. any help would be great.

  12. Tonya says:

    I am fighting child support with my husband. We found out that we are paying for a kid that isn’t even his..We have proof that it’s another mans kid.The ex-wife knew it and still claimed that she didn’t know.So they are not willing to do a D.N.A test to prove my husband isn’t the father.They got a divorce because she was always stepping out of the marriage.I have been with him for 15 years now we have two kids and he is a very good father to them and a wonderful husband.I will fight to show child support that they have to follow their own laws just as we have to do.So if anyone knows of a good lawer then please let me know. It’s sad that our kids have seen their father get put in jail right in front of them. They were left with so much sadness that it wasn’t funny..I think child support is a joke and something needs done about it.More of us need to take a stand and fight back.Thanks!

  13. Ace Spade says:

    I am sure enough that children are being mistreated and abused by foster parents only no one is thinking about the kids cause no one is coming fourth. If your child has been in foster care rather they are older or still young you as there parent, teacher, etc need to come forth, this hidden abuse needs to stop i have heard from numerous young adults who where abused as kids by their foster parents this is very important for their voices to be heard for the kids going threw it now and for the safety of our children going into the future. Our better or worse depends on rather we step up for our children or not and no one thing “Money Can Only Be Made And Spent” so F..K the money this is about their safety and our children knowing we care not financially, it says we care from our hearts not our pockets. Ace Spade Approve this Message !

  14. Brian Border says:

    I’m looking for assistance concerning the Ohio Job and Family Services overstepping their boundries. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. We adopted our grand daughter (dad and mom were criminals and herion addicts). The childs maternal grandmother we let stay in her life as a curtosey. Nothing more, nothing less. Over the course of the last couple of years they have quit their jobs, started buying guns and joined a militia. They have tried to teach our daughter how to hate others. We therefore informed them that they were no longer welcome around our daughter as since they were no longer legally related to her, to also stay away. This pissed them off. In the beginning of Oct, 2012, my wife got out of the hospital and was having an allergic reaction to some medications. My daughter not knowing any better, called her ex-nana, who although was told never to come to our house again, rushed to my house (over 180 miles away) and walked in like she owned the place. While my wife was semi-consious she attempted to get my wife to sign custody of my daughter over to her if something should happen to her. (Where was I, you might be thinking, out of state. I’m an over the road truck driver). My wife told her, not just no, but hell no. She then proceeded to call child services to complain that my child was being neglected and hoping that they would give her custody. She made up a whole set of lies accusing my wife of being a drug addict, etc, which child services bought since they couldn’t get a response from my wife. The worker then removed my child from the home and took her to school. She then left and filed emergency hearing documents and went to court and got temporary custody of my daughter and placed her into a foster home. The next day a friend of mine called me and told me what was happened. AFTER the fact. That they had to break into my house because my wife was unconsious on the couch (yes child services locked our door and left her there in that condition) and had to call an ambulance and take her back to the hospital. My daughter even told them that mommy was sick and needed to go to the hospital but they ignored her. If i hadn’t called child services back the next day I never would have known was was going on. They testified in court that they expended all reasonable efforts to place the child before taking her. Bull. They called No One. Not one of her 8 brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, hell they didn’t even call ME. They violated my civil, constitutional and parental rights by taking my child without me knowing what was going on. If they would have called me from my home, I could have called my brother who lives 3o minutes away and had him pick my daughter up from school and babysit her until I got there. Problem solved. Not in their minds, my daughter was in imminent danger (according to the papers filed). While she was gone, I sat with them and told them that my daughter could NOT go to church with the 60 year old foster lady (unmarried). They called my wife and asked her if she could go stating that I’m the only one objecting. My wife said why not, so off to church she goes, in direct violation of my wishes. (Oh, btw way, it was confirmed by the hospital that my wife suffered an allergic reactions to the medications the hospital gave her the day prior to this occuring). My daughter is coming back to us in about 15 days. Meanwhile, they have been sure to take support money from me. Bottom line. This should never have happened and she should never have been taken, if they would have done 1 thing, and 1 thing only. Called her FATHER. They Took my rights from me, with no court order. Oh, for those wondering, NO, We’re not divorced, neither one of us has primary custody, etc. Regular married mom and dad. Dad just wasn’t there when this happened and therefore they didn’t feel it was necessary to call my daughters Father to let him know what was going on, since as they put it, I wasn’t in town and therefore couldn’t do anything. What a crock. Ok, I’m done rabbling. I’m looking for 1 hell of a lawyer who is willing to assist me in sueing the pants off of these people for NOT following their own guidelines before removing a child from the home, and in effect kidnapping her without her parents knowledge of what was happening.

  15. Irritated says:

    I for one am tired of dealing with people in the offices that get you nowhere..I deal with a deadbeat that is almost 12 grand in the red..Gee what is the purpose of having the laws if all counties don’t follow them. Many counties need investigated on there actions of handling cases but what can you do when they scratch each others back..Warren County is one of the worst counties when it comes to dealing with deadbeats. Let someone pay faithfully then miss a payment or two they are ready to throw them in jail..I say it’s time for the county officials and all involved stop dragging your feet and do your job the correct way..Single parents wouldn’t have to rely on the system to survive if they were receiving child support that is due.

  16. Tony Fantetti says:

    Single parents also wouldn’t have to “rely on the system” nor the opposite parent to survive if they weren’t single parents.

    Obviously there are those whom are single parents through no fault of their own, however they are the minority. Most single parents are mothers to whom I refer to as single moms by choice. Additionally, I refer to them as “child support moms.”

    By that, I mean they are women whose welfare is paid at the expense of innocent children and their father, and in many cases they in my humble opinion are no different than a common thief as they steal another person’s income under the guise of “child support.”

    You’ve not stated enough about yourself for me to know the circumstances of your single motherhood (or fatherhood), but I offer you this. If it was you who chose to be single and thereby deprive a child(ren) of the opposite parent without moral justification, then it’s my humble opinion that you deserve absolutely nothing in terms of “child support.”

    I’ll take that further and state that any mother who deprives a father of his children without moral just cause, and steals his income via “child support” could, instead of complaining about not getting “child support”, merely grant the father sole custody.

    In doing so, she would never again have to whine or complain about not getting “child support.”

    So the solution is simple; in order to stop complaining about “living off the system” (which is often inexcusable as you have the option of bettering yourself), grant the father (or mother) of your child(ren) sole custody and then problem solved.

    However, if the father (or mother) of your children is truly incapable of acting within the capacity of being a fit parent, then I must remind you of this. If it was you who chose to lie with that man (or woman) and thereby bring a child into this world.

    So no matter how you look at this, the person responsible for your situation is you, YOU, and no one else. With regard to “relying on the system” you shouldn’t be doing so for an extended period of time as that’s laziness. You should be bettering yourself so as to adequately provide for your children (and yourself) in a good and loving manner as every parent should.

    “Child support” is just that, CHILD SUPPORT. It’s not for you to support yourself as most recipients of it do. That’s despicable. You don’t think single fathers and noncustodial single mothers have to pay rent or a mortgage, pay utilities, put food on the table, pay medical expenses etc? Most people have those basic household expenses and without regard to whether or not they have children.

    Lastly, I don’t care if you are male or female, what I said applies. Support yourself, get off the public dole, and support your children. The opposite parent not paying “child support” is no excuse for you to live off the backs of the taxpayers (assuming you’re not truly disabled), and to neglect your children in the process.

    Assuming you are fit to work and you’re willingly choosing to live of taxpayers and also refuse to better yourself, then it’s those like you who are exactly what’s wrong with America today, and the very reason this great country is deteriorating and being destroyed from within. Assuming you’re fit, you don’t need a handout, what you need is a swift boot you know where…

  17. Brian Border says:

    Anyone know of a good lawyer in the southeast ohio region who is willing to assist in filing a lawsuit against the Noble County Job and Family services for the removal of my child from our home without a shred of evidence of neglect or abuse. They even testified in court that my daughter wasn’t being neglected and there was no abuse. They took my daughter only because someone told them my wife was a drug addict (although it was shown through hospital records that she suffered an extreme reaction from the hospital medications she received the day before). They didn’t even have the decency to notify the father of what was going on. I had to call them a day later to find out. Thanks.

  18. Manda says:

    Well I think child support shouldn’t even go to mother or father it should to the child or children but if deadbeat mother and fathers should be pay back the support but not to exceed to amour they can still pay their bills with medical, and food and etc.. Because mothers and fathers should be able provide children the same as did when their parents where married and Ohio shouldn’t be taken out money that they can’t pay bills so their kids can electricity and food in the home if NCP and other company want take children away from their parents because the kids want to have fun on their roof they should be able do just that not taken for endangerment Ohio you the some stuipdest state in this country I hope that my brother and all people get their money back for paying payments that ate over their amount. This country had gone down because our Presidents have a choice that money is more powerful which in fact it’s not we need stop making deadbeat dads and mothers that need to pay for child support be in jail for rest their lives and leave the ones that are paying a alone. My brother pays his and he pays more then what he makes that a brunch of shit and Ohio better what coming for parents that are paying for child support and for the mothers who want more because you spending the money on stuff that’s not the children they also pay that back as well. Mothers who want more because they spend on getting there nails done are fraud and there should children or child always come first. Children shod always come first.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Manda,

      I couldn’t agree with you more, and truly wish you’d run for office. Our corrupt politicians, and that describes most of them on both sides of the isle, couldn’t care less about the true “best interests of the the child.” Most are career politicians who care about nothing more than enriching themselves through their Washington insider politics and kickbacks. And that, at ours, our children’s and families expense.

      I despise politics myself, but given the disgusting corruption (again, at our expense) from the local to the federal level, I’m been considering a run myself at the local level (school board perhaps) just to get started.

      Sincerely,

      Tony Fantetti

  19. Dallas says:

    I have read many comments and stories here and sympathise deeply with all the struggling single dads as i am also one of them…i wont go into deep detail but i have 3 children all by different mothers…i only have visitation rights to one om my children from my ex wife and she doesnt honor them half the time!!!….the other mom moved and i have no idea where and mother number 3 just doesnt want me in the childs life..i pay all three of these women child support and have been paying since i was 21, i am 31 now and have accumalated 15,000 in arrears over the past ten years now keep in mind i have had work throughout the past decade solidly and even went to have child support lowered but no dice they even raised one of the cases payments wich i couldnt believe…i made roughly 10 an hour for the majority of my life but the total for all my support on all 3 cases totaledmore than 1,200 …..do the math i havent been living life very well…i lost my car last year and lost my job cuz commute was a 30 minute drive and had 3rd shift so ofcourse i fell further and further behind…i found very little work at temp services while searching and before i knew it i was slapped with a contempt of court and a mandatory 30 day jail sentence last month and i cut my losses on that and didnt even go….at this point im giving up….they took my license and im assuming putba warrant out for me…yet ive paid thousands of dollars and kept in touch with the support office on a normal basis but they had no sympathy about my situation…..i have no idea why i paid all these years and this is what i get…but these women dont have to show one reciept or proof of where my money has went or give me my kids some of the time??? Who the hell wrote these laws? Im gonna make aneffort of a 2,000 dollar loan in hopes they drop the warrant and give me my license back but im not holding my breath…im close to just givin up completely i dont know what else to do…thanks for reading

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Dallas,

      I’m so sorry for your situation. I truly feel for you and completely understand the stress, hopelessness, anxiety and fear that accompanies an arrears, and the inability to pay your “child support” obligations, I put “child support” in quotes because we both know that in most cases, the custodial parent spends the money on themselves and not the child. I know one father who also was paying nearly $1,300 per month in “child support”, and his daughter had no bed at her mother’s house and therefore had to sleep on the floor. Reason being, the custodial mother is an alcoholic, and to this day spends the “child support” on alcohol.

      That poor girl slept on the floor of her mother’s house for nearly a year. Even more disgusting is that the mother of course, had a bed for herself. To force mom to buy one for the child, dad filed a motion petitioning the court to order it. During oral arguments, the mom even admitted to the judge that the girl didn’t have a bed, but had the unmitigated gull to claim that she “didn’t have the money and couldn’t afford it.

      The judge ordered her to buy one immediately, and after he did so, dad pleaded with him to impose a deadline but he refused. He looked directly at the father and in a very condescending and arrogant tone said, “you heard her, she said she’d buy one, so she will!” Needless to say, she didn’t; at least not until 6 months later when the father filed a motion for change of custody. In fact, mom even waited until just before the custody trial began before she bought it!

      When the judge was interviewing the girl during an “in-camera interview” (which was requested by the father in his motion), the girl advised the judge that her mother drinks and drives with her car. The girl also told the judge how her mother coached her testimony and told her what she should say during the interview.

      The judges ruling? He ruled that the mother would once again (that was the second custody trial they went through) have sole custody!!
      Understand Dallas that the story I just told is not one that was “made up.” I personally know the mother, father and child involved with that case.

      I mentioned that story Dallas only to point out just how fraudulent, perfidious, and despicable that deceptive platitude is, that Ohio’s 88 county “Child Support” Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs) spokespersons and those judicial black hats in Ohio’s Domestic Relations and Juvenile Courts clamor about incessantly in order to “justify” their abuse of fathers. Said phrase as I’m sure you know is, “the best interests of the children.

      It’s by those 5 meaningless (because of the fraudulent manner in which they’re used by the courts and Ohio’s CSEAs) words that fathers around the country, are constantly denigrated, humiliated, subjugated, demoralized, and worst of all, stripped of many of their Constitutional and God-given rights in “Family Court”, and allegedly in pursuit of justice.

      Your situation is a tough one Dallas, and again, I feel for you and am sorry for what you’re going through. With regard to the mother who moved away with one of your children, if you were to pursue her, you could use the courts to force the CSEA to reveal what thaey have as her current address.

      If you’re going to make a settlement offer to the CSEA, be certain of the agreement you’re entering into as they will surely try to “backdoor you” in some manner whereby you’ll been unjustly and wrongfully treated by them if you aren’t extremely careful.

      I have a couple questions for you Dallas. If you still have any of your pay stubs that show just how little you take home each week after paying “child support” for three children, would you be willing to share those with me? If so, would you allow me to blog about them and post them here? It would be good for all fathers for me to draw the public’s attention to that. I could also redact from them, whatever information you wouldn’t want to be released publicly.

      Do you have a good support network in place Dallas? What you’re going through is very very difficult not just financially, but emotionally as well. When I went through the worst of the worst in my own situation, I wouldn’t have made it through and literally wouldn’t be here today, if not for my faith in God and Jesus. If that offends you, then I sincerely apologize. But it is what it is with regard to how I made it.

      Thanks for sharing your story with us Dallas, I appreciate it. Lastly, if you’d rather not answer my questions here but are willing to do so via other means, then please feel free to email me at tony.fantetti@ocffr.org.

      Sincerely,

      Tony Fantetti
      tony.fantetti@ocffr.org

  20. dallas says:

    Thank you tony for your response and efforts in making this injustice aware to all…. could tell so many horror stories of me dealing with ohio csea but one stood out the most for me…i had a full time and part time job when i was married and got a letter in the mail about suspending my license…so naturally i was pissed and went to talk to the lady ti see why she was threatning my license….no joke cant maje this up …she told me i didnt make enough at my fulltime job wich was 10.50 an hr 40 hr weeks and i needed to find a better job because i was 3000 behind in arrears and was gonna face jail….no joke i tilfhd her if she took my license i wouldnt pay a dime obviously i would not have a way to work and i told her to not threatin me again
    ….i made and have made usually around 350 a week but even then was paying around 900 for two kids now i have 3 kids and pay almost 1300 a month

  21. dallas says:

    I have been out of regular work for 4 months and have already been subjected to dont collect dont pass go…one week pay stub after gross 309 for 39 hrs walked away with 127 child support got 65 prcent now im suppost to live lmao…..i wont pay anymore until something changes i have no rightz and am forxed into the position im in….my life is ruined over some crazy ass family law thats ruined my means of life….i dont even think if i paid 2000 they would drop anything id prolly gi straight to jail…i never dreamed id be in this position because of work…whats going on with this country

  22. Catie says:

    I came across this article on Google. It is terrible how the system can take advantage of people and then there is no one to help them.

    I am about to go through our local CSEA in Lucas County in NW Ohio to get a support order established with my daughter’s father. He won’t pay me consistent amounts on a consistent basis and we count on that money for rent and food, etc… If I was receiving steady payments on time I wouldn’t have a need for a CSEA at all. I know they can be unfair at times; we watched his cousin get royally screwed as far as what he has to pay for his daughter, of whom he has joint custody. I’m hoping our appointment goes well (if he shows up). He didn’t show up to our first hearing because he “forgot to ask off of work”. He had the notice for a month. I know he did because I told him about it, and to check his mail to make sure he had the paperwork. Other than that he’s a good father and I’m not looking for a “handout”. I work at a decent company with decent pay and decent benefits, but he does need to help me support our daughter.

    I’m sorry for all the men who have been screwed and haven’t been able to get help because they are labeled “deadbeats”. My sister-in-law’s ex husband IS a deadbeat; has kids all over the state with a bunch of different women, works minimally so he doesn’t have to help support them, and sees them MAYBE once every three months. But not every father is that way; in fact I know he is the exception to the normal single fathers who just want the best for their life and the life of their children.

    This leads me to my point that if anyone is in need of an attorney, my friend is an attorney specializing in family law. She is in the Columbus area (but travels to the Toledo area often to visit family and friends). Her email address is xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@xxxx.xxx (Note: email address was removed by web site admin) Send her an email. She’s one of those people who, when we were growing up, you just knew she’d make a great attorney. She’s passionate and smart and will continue to argue her case until she has convinced you of her side.

  23. Matthew says:

    Wow I just found this and I totally agree. I make $9.00 and hour though temp work its the only work I can find. I have had the same job since my son was born 4 yrs ago. I have to pay $400.00 a month in child support. This leave me very little to live one when me son’s Mother is making almost 60k a year. Ohio automatically looks at the father as a dead beat no matter the situation.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      I’m sorry for your situation Mattew. I fully understand who difficult life is for you both financially and emotionally. Are you able to see your son and maintain a meaningful and active role in his life? And if you don’t mind my asking, how much of “your money” are you left with after “child support” is immorally deducted from your paycheck in order to subsidize your ex’s lifestyle?

  24. sharon says:

    I want to expose the ODJFS for all their errors. Think I will write a book and would like to have all the information regarding the abuses of collections. The ODJFS are also keeping my child support from husband no two for amounts that husband no one owes to AFDC. Please contact me.

  25. barney says:

    I am the father of a teenage daughter that i recently was finally able to gain full custody of by convincing the court that her mother was unfit to raise her. When we were a couple we were never married and i came home from work only to find she had moved out with our daughter to live with another man. Since i was being refused visitation I was advised by an attorney to have paternity established and proceded to the county health dept. to have the test. That test started a downfall for me in that the prosecutor from the county in which the mother of my daughter lived dragged me into court. I was railroaded into being 1 year behind in paying “child support” and a weekly amount of $76 established, also in providing health & dental ins. But I did finally get rights to have visitation with my daughter of everyother weekend! Those weekends are all that kept me getting through each pay period only looking forward to seeing my daughter. However it was challenging in that my daughter from a very young age was put in the middle of any correspondence between her mother and I. Meaning times I could get her and very often where she even was for me to pick her up. Her mother would after being kicked out for whatever reason by her then boyfriend she had moved in with make our daughter tell me where they were.U sually it was with whatever man’s house she could convince to let her move in with. That went on for 11 years and though i was so upset about what she was putting my daughter through moving her from man to man, sometimes after convincing her to be calling them Dad! My hands were totally tied and every lawyer I would talk to told me I have no case to do anything. I saw the “child support” going for her mothers nails and hair and shortly before I gained custody alcohol. My daughter at 1 point had gone for almost a year without having a haircut before I finally had to take her myself , my takehome pay was nothing so that was very hard to do but i knew she had to have it and I took her. After her mother out of the blue one time I was picking my daughter up for a visit told me she wanted me to sign papers giving her sister custody of our daughter I had enough, she even told me she would just turn her e-quick” child support” card over to her sister and nothing would change. Not being able to afford an attorney because the “child support” left me broke I wrote the judge a letter explaining what I had been enduring the past 11 years with my daughters mother. To make a long court process short her mother ended up not showing up for ordered parenting classes and mediation or even the court proceedings itself and I was granted custody and “child support” to which I haven’t seen in 6 months. I have to laugh about it but I chose to be paid “child support” by the e-quick debit card. I have arrearages to the state for administration fees and with my current occupation being seasonal I get laid off for a period of time and draw unemployment during that time. “Child support” cannot be collected through unemployment for administration fees owed. So what it has come to is I get refunded the money taken out by unemployment for “child support” and the money is put on my e-quick debit card. So I get automated calls from the e-quick card that money has been put on my “child support” card by me! I have 5 folders of threatening letters from CSEA collected over the years for not paying during 3-4 month periods after the ressesion hit and I had a hard time paying. Now that I’m owed over $2500 in arrears from her I am still recieving threatening letters from the CSEA about the state owed arrears I owe of $500. The CSEA is nothing but a gov. joke and a way to collect money for themselves to line their pockets. They could care less about what the money is being spent on that is collected by them from the (non custodial parent), but they will spend whatever it costs to send me a letter to threaten me about paying those admin. fees almost on a weekly basis. For anyone reading this I plan to have a ceremonial burning of those letters after I get it pd. and settled because there is no changing it! Also never underestimate the power of the pen, writing that letter to the judge was the best thing I could have done, and I am finally giving my dayghter the stable home she deserves!

  26. jason says:

    I pay child support for 3 kids. my 2 oldest a son who is 13 and a daughter who is just turned 18 and graduated highschool on one order from one marriage then a 6 year old on another separate order from another marriage. the order from my two oldest was originaly from north Dakota. we all live in ohio now and Miami county took it apon themselves to have the case transferred here to ohio. now that my daughter has just turned 18 and graduated highschool Miami county child support are refusing to emancipate her off the order. the say that because the divorce was from north Dakota they have to fallow their law and guidelines. well north Dakota law and my divorce decree stated that at the age of 18 and apon graguation the child is to be emancipated. Miami county is refusing to emancipate my daughter. I pay my support im no means behind. I have no money to hire a attorney. im financially struggling every day because of child support. I feel like im being discriminated due to the fact im ncp. all I keep hearing from them is ” we just want to make sure these kids get whats intitled to them”. im broke I need help and don’t know what to do. can someone please help me.

  27. JD says:

    Hamilton County is the worst place for child support collection on both sides. I am a single mom and my sons’ dad owed over 23,000 in back child support. I knew where he was and reported every time he moved, he worked, or owned anything. They would not cross the river to get him. He didn’t make a payment in almost 2 years when I found out he was receiving disability. Not only once I received some of that in a lump sum, he is still almost 20,000 behind and just took me back to court and got his amount lowered to 89.00/month which is now being held?? No one can tell me why but I do know this, if you are a working parent of any kind, paying or receiving, hc child support will screw you. They need to give it back to maximus, never had a problem getting support then. HCJFS cannot handle it! Even Clermont county had him in jail several times for support he owed out there. Ridiculous trying to get help for kids and the criminal crap they pull.

  28. Dustin says:

    It’s sad that this system is clearly become broken. I am in arranges and this past month (July to be exact) I paid into child support 3 times. My son’s mother never received the 3rd payment which was taken on the 31st of July, and when we called we were t old it was paid back to the state. If I still owe $600 in back support for the fact they waited a MONTH to contact my work to take the support, then why did the state pocket the money needed for our son’s clothes, formula, food, diapers, ect?
    And even the case worker told me that it was applied back to the state.
    So now, I guess for my son’s 1st birthday, because of the Job and Family services located in good Ross County, OH (which now consists of several southern Ohio agencies), my son is looking to not having much for his birthday party.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Dustin,

      The fact that the CSEA applied your payment to the State of Ohio’s coffers versus passing the payment to your son’s mother speaks VOLUMES about the State’s definition of the “best interest of the children.” Clearly, and as I’ve argued for years, Ohio’s “child support” system has been and always will be about Ohio’s best financial interests, given that they profit off that thievery and madness that’s euphemistically known as “child support.”

      Sincerely,

      Tony

  29. Brian Border says:

    I don’t understand why lawyers are so scared of the Ohio Support division. I have been looking for a lawyer now for over 10 months to sue them for what they’ve done to my wife and I and everyone I talk to, is scared to take the case. I have documented paperwork on the illegal activities and lies they’ve committed, even the lies in court, but no one wants to take them on. Must be a money thing believing they can’t win so why bother. Guess I’ll go it alone.

  30. queen jesd says:

    My rights been violated so much thru csea even got married to Childs father they still harrasss and are now trying to press criminal charges is there class action suite against Ohio for any of this….i have right to life liberty and pursuit of happiness that this system is ignoring how my family wants to exercise these right
    help pleade

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      The class action that was filed against the State of Ohio in an Ohio Court was thrown out. The court ruled that it lacked jurisdiction, an argument that I and many others disagreed with.

      To your comment, “I have right to life liberty and pursuit of happiness that this system is ignoring how my family wants to exercise these right;” sadly, as this country continues on this path whereby we’re now completely unmoored from the Constitution, our Constitutional rights will continue to be trampled and taken from us.Little by little.

      In this age where the Executive Branch, with absolutely no Constitutional authority or basis whatsoever, re-writes laws on the fly (a power granted solely to the Legislative Branch only via the Constitution), changes implementation dates, and issues directives and waivers with complete disregard for the rule of Law, We the people are in serious trouble.

      Our society is moving from tyranny to an outright dictatorship. Think about it, kids are being suspended from and kicked out of school for drawing “pictures.” Innocent pictures, being drawn by innocent children without any ill-will or malicious intent whatsoever, and they’re being kicked out of school and punished by it?

      We as a country are in serious trouble, it’s not just fathers. America needs to wake up.

      Tony

  31. Ms. Gamble says:

    I am so glad that someone besides me recognizes the criminal act that takes place within the ODJFS CSEA. I myself have had issues from the mother aspect as well as witnessed issues from the paying father aspect. My 1st case was included in the fraud issues, when the agency operated out of the 800 Broadway building. Not many remember this situation and of course CSEA covered their tracks by having all media removed that was connected to the fraudulent activities of its employees taking money from clients to have DNA test altered. Long story short my paternity test came back inconclusive and if I wanted to have the test done over I had to pay the $500, when it was their office that caused the negative test results. My 2nd issue was brought to my attention by my employer. There was an order for wage garnishment sent to my office of employement stating that I had to pay child support and that I was not paying my portion of health care insurance. On the paperwork sent to my employee, I was listed as the obligor and the father of my child was listed as the obligee. No one was able to explain how this mix up came about or provided the identification of the person who sent/generated the request. Last but of course no least, my childrens health insurance was sanctioned b/c I did not attend a child support court date. In the letter informing me of the said court date is clearly stated that this was not intended for me and I did not have to be in attendance.
    I myself hate the way the child support system is set up to make the fathers fail rather in compliance or not. If a mother can get assistance to get a job why is the same porogram not offered to the fathers and why is suspending thier license or putting them in jail the best that they system can come up woith. The laws really need to be revised. Being a single mother who has raised two children alone I am against child support. Money is not the only factor that should be taken into consideration when raising a child. The father is no good to my child whether he is making his payments or not if he is in jail. The bigger issue is that child support prevents fathers that are trying to obtain employment by placing capias/warrants on them resulting in an adverse action. I recently witnessed a close friend of mine get turned down for a job that he was highly qualified for because of his child support arrearages. To me this is the dumbest thing that can happen. It seems to me that the child support program has it set up for fathers to only work minimum wage jobs, like Burger King struggle to pay their support and/or take care of themselves and once they go into default they are being told the Burger King job is not enough to get a second job pay a certain amount by a deadline or go to jail. If anyone is aware Burger King is one of the companies that hire people with felonies. It is a shame that these fathers are facing felony non-support payment charges when child support is the reason they can not get a job.
    If their is anyone out there that feels this is wrong, please help or direct us people who wants these laws changed in the right direction. I am to the point that I want to start a petition to get this changes. I am glad that someone will be investigating the actions that take place within the CSEA. No where do they have the children’s best interest at heart and that is to be thier ultimate reason for existing. For a man to be punished for a filed relationship that takes two is beyond me. It is time to make these mothers take responsibility just as much as the men are being forced to. The spitefullness of the filer also needs to be considered.
    I could go on for hours about what I feel to be is illegal/unlawful/bias/degrading process and laws within the HCJFS/CSEA.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Ms. Gamble,

      Thanks for taking the time to post what you have. What you’ve written is very thought provoking to say the least. It amazes me that as a single mom yourself, you still argue that you’re against child support.

      And you are spot on, when you state that it does no good for your children when their father is incarcerated.I’m curious about this comment; “I recently witnessed a close friend of mine get turned down for a job that he was highly qualified for because of his child support arrearages.” Let me guess, the CSEA reported him to the credit bureaus and thereby destroyed his credit, and as resulted PREVENTED him from getting that job, is that correct?

      To this point you made, “It is time to make these mothers take responsibility just as much as the men are being forced to.” I couldn’t agree with you more. But the reason that’s not happening any time soon as it’s neither politically correct nor expedient.

      Can you imagine the outrage it would bring about of a politician, or someone within the CSEA or a public servant were to say, “It is time to make these mothers take responsibility just as much as the men are being forced to.”

      Most politicians are complete cowards who only care about their own self-serving interest, and pointing out what you’ve said is not something I think I’ll see in my lifetime. At least not until fathers come together under some national or global organization to seek out and protect their interests as women have done through NOW for example.

      You also said, “I could go on for hours about what I feel to be is illegal/unlawful/bias/degrading process and laws within the HCJFS/CSEA.” And to that I say, please write as much as you wish. The words of those such as yourself are far more powerful than mine, especially when you’re speaking from the perspective of a single mom.

      I’d love to hear more of what you have to say.

      Tony Fantetti

  32. wanda byrd says:

    I would like to ask you.about my child support case of my husband. I hope you can give us info that could help us. Mother is deceased for years and the children are grown. I’m not the biological father of either but because we were once married im responsible for the children. I haven’t had a life and. now retiring they are trying to take it from my.job I work a few days a week and want my retirement benefits. I have been paying the.child support order and have remarried we are struggling . I hope you could help.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      I’m not sure what you mean here, “I’m not the biological father of either but because we were once married im responsible for the children.” You are not legally responsible for another person’s children just because you were married to them unless you adopted them, or it was ruled to be “in their best interests.” Did you adopt the kids? If not, then how are you legally responsible for them and says whom?

      • wanda byrd says:

        I’m sorry my husband has a order for child support which he has paid all of his working life practically. His ex-wife is deceased and he is not the biological father of either child but is still paying. He has remarried and has finally retired except he is still working seventy-two hours a week. The order is for the job not trying to take from his pension. We have been married five years been together for six. We are struggling bad and have been since Ive met him. What aadvice can you give us.

  33. wanda byrd says:

    (Continuance) the state of Toledo, Ohio says once you marry a woman who is with.child you are the biological father. My husband told his ex wife not to forge his name on the first child’s birth certifcate but he found out way later she did. They were separated when she became pregnant with the second child. She divorced him right after she had the baby. She knew she was pregnant by a married man because the wife found out. So I asked you tony why are they trying to get every penny 55% of his retirement benefits which is 800.00 and 309.56 out of the part-time job. He was told from R.R retirement and CSEA that he only owe
    12,000.00 but HCF is saying he still owe 72,000 more.Tonyhow are we supposed to live with HCF trying to take my last.

    12,000 more now HCF is saying he still owe 72,000.00 more. Tony my husband
    doesn’t have money for the everyday necessities. Please can you help us with this
    Iwere

    • wanda byrd says:

      Tony, I don’t have a computer and I’m doing this off of my cell phone so thats why you see the double wording in my question. Im still hoping you can reply to my situation.

  34. Tony Fantetti says:

    Wanda,

    This is NOT Ohio law; ” the state of Toledo, Ohio says once you marry a woman who is with.child you are the biological father.”

    At some point, he had to have been declared the father by a court, his name was on a birth certificate, or a DNA test was done. But it has nothing to do with living with a woman who had a child that’s not his. That does not make one legally liable under the law. Are you certain that he’s being honest with you?

    If I were him, I’d call the CSEA and request an audit of his account, he’s entitled to that. If they ignore him, he should make the same request in writing and send it certified mail.

    Nonetheless, his situation is not one that’s going to be resolved by letters or phone calls, he needs to speak with an attorney. I don’t know what his relationship is with the children involved, but if they are adults, they could possibly agree to wave the arrears.

    If he’s truly not the father of either child, he may have a case for paternity fraud, however an attorney would need to speak to that.

    Tony

  35. Dixie says:

    SOME MEN/WOMEN just don’t know how good they have it…

    I myself, have 4 children after 12 yrs of marriage. My now ex-husband, and I have shared parenting of 3 of our children. He has full custody of our eldest son. This is my story!
    The divorce took almost 14 months, and during our marriage all of our children were born. We both still reside in Ohio. Morrow County to be exact.
    The divorce it’s self was a circus side show. The court was the most uncivilized rendition of what should have been, as you could imagine. During our divorce our judge was replaced without notice, and might I add the day of our actual divorce. They sent in a person that did NOT know our case at all. And that said person made all final decisions. CRAZY if you ask me. Anyway, I stated that I did NOT want child support. Due to the fact the courts had already opened a temp support order. Which I NEVER received the first penny of anyway. And my idea of life is not about fighting with anyone, but especially not with the father of my children.!
    The judge in our case, scolded me in the court room. She said Dixie I am so and so, from Marion Co and used to work in the Child Support division. And you are GOING TO NEED THAT MONEY” AND YOU SHOULD TAKE IT.!
    I was shocked that a judge would just offer a statement like that in front of my ex and his attorney. She went on to tell me that I could lose my job any day, and that I would no doubt be in a case where I’d need the state to help me out.. smh
    There’s a way to make a woman proud! Assume that I wont find another job, just like the one I had, as she was speaking.? I was really just taken back by her demanding that I take that 800 dollar blood money. Like it was all I was ever going to have… come on people..
    Money is the root of all evil. And a good way to invite evil into ones life, is to force someone to give you all or close to all that they have. As long as Dad provides for our kids when they are in his care, and I when they are in mine. What else could, or should I ask for? NOTHING because people, you can hurt each-other, ruin your marriage/relationship if you want to, but to take an opportunity for your kids when they are in the other parents home, Is a terrible injustice to your children. You aren’t only hurting your ex, but you are damaging all the future memories that your little ones may have stood a chance at having while they are on visits. IT IS NOT OUR KIDS FAULT,THAT WE DON’T LOVE ONE ANOTHER! Parents and children are a package deal folks. I have a mom and a dad just like my children do. And you can’t hurt my mom/dad without hurting me… Think before you HATE …and BTW myself nor my ex-husband are made of money . We both struggle in today’s economy. We make just enough to get by on. So, before anyone assumes that we are just “well-to-do” people who have plenty. I assure you we are not! We both work 9-5 regular jobs. And our divorce was U G L Y on every other aspect. We fought over the smallest of things. My ex cheated on me openly for our entire marriage. He even lied and later laughed in court, about how he lied bc he just couldn’t stand the thought of me having an upper hand on anything. And yet …STILL the kids were the most important at the end of the day. They make me happy, and I want them happy. And forcing money that (I can make on my own), from their dad, just doesn’t seem right to me.. wake up and love your kids more than you love revenge.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Dixie,

      This speaks volumes, “hey make me happy, and I want them happy. And forcing money that (I can make on my own), from their dad, just doesn’t seem right to me.. wake up and love your kids more than you love revenge.” And if all divorced/single parents adhered to that, so many children would be living in much happier lives. Additionally, you wouldn’t see nearly as much carnage in the “family court” system that you see today if that golden rule were followed.

      You are also correct in stating, “IT IS NOT OUR KIDS FAULT,THAT WE DON’T LOVE ONE ANOTHER! Parents and children are a package deal folks. I have a mom and a dad just like my children do. And you can’t hurt my mom/dad without hurting me… Think before you HATE.”

      It’s certainly not their fault as you state, but they tend to pay dearly, and for life in some cases were irreversible emotional damage is down as a result of the fighting and hatred between their parents.

      “Do unto others as you would have them do to you,” if followed would drastically improve the emotional well being of children who must endure (through no choice of their own) the pain and trauma of their parents fighting, arguing and hatred towards each other.

      Thanks for sharing your experiences and advice.

      Tony Fantetti

  36. Jordan says:

    Can I please have your lawyers name asap to sue them too

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Jordan,
      Neither I nor my attorney was involved with that suit. Additionally, I don’t know the Plaintiff personally.

      Tony Fantetti

  37. Lenore Black says:

    I came across this acrticle after doing a search on how to sue ODJFS.

    In 2009, I was given disability. I was eligible for payments for my twins also. I had no child support order.
    I was denied TANF for my children, even though I was eligible, until 2012. I asked for a state hearing, which was granted. The Friday prior to the hearing, I received a call fro Shelia Johnson from ODJFS, saying that the error would be fixed that day, and so the hearing would not be needed.
    Needless to say, it wasn’t, and I never got those back payments.
    I called and asked, begged, to no avail. I was told that my limit had passed; amazing since three years of payments were skipped…They made sure to hit the tax return of the person who WAS helping me during that period in 2015 for $500, though.
    I STILL could use those funds; both kids are in college, and I have been playing catch-up, every since…While I know that I could never sue and get anywhere, it was nice to see that I am not the only one who has gotten “got”,by ODJFS.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Lenore,

      You can rest assured that you are in good company with a great number of people who have been “had” by that nefarious ODJFS.

      Tony Fantetti

  38. Kristina L Hashberger says:

    If anyone finds out about another lawsuit against ODJFS, sign me up too!
    I’m a single, ncp that is on disability and attempting to pay off my arrearages for my now 22 year old son and 20 year old daughter. They have different fathers who have never been in their lives. My son’s father is currently active duty Air Force but the Military has not made him pay anything since 2005. My daughter’s father has never ever paid a dime of support and never seen her. She hates him. It’s not because of me though. I never mentioned him to her or anything. I’ve only spoken to him myself once since she’s been born. Both of these kids were raised by my father and stepmother. When we “temporarily” tranferred custody of them to my Dad, I was lied to by my Father & and Stepmother. I was young (barely 20 and almost 22) and trusted my Father to not lie to me. Boy was I an Idiot!! I was led to believe that I did not need my own lawyer and that their lawyer would draw up all of the paperwork for “temporary” custody. I never got my kids back and now my daughter and I do not speak, at all. I moved from Ohio back to Nebraska in 2003 and my daughter blames me for never having the money to come pick them up for visits. I was only working part time, and sometimes not even that, and had my regular support payments plus the arrearage payments coming out of the little money I did make. Just paying the bills was impossible, not to mention a 750 mile trip to try to visit my kids that hated me anyway. Try explaining that to an 8 year old little girl though.
    Jump to 2014. I get automatically put on disability Aug 16, 2014 when I get dignosed with PBC (Primary Biliary Cirrhosis, a liver disease that has nothing to do with alcohol. My bile is digesting everything it touches instead of just my food.)
    Now on to Feb 2015. ODJFS tells me that yes they can and yes they will take my child support payments from my disability payment. Fine. Be jerks.
    Current day, 2016. February I get another pair of withholding notices. Why? I call CSEA and they tell me that “they” forced them to start a new system that “should not effect the cases that already have support orders like” mine. Sure. Ok. Then I get the letter from SS stating that they are going to pay the double child suport amount! I call CSEA again. Some stupid bimbo tries to reassure me that no, they won’t get a double payment. March rolls around and sure enough, double payment missing from my money. Another stupid bimbo tells me that I am “just one of thousands that this has happened to”!!! I spent the next two weeks calling them, daily, to find out where my money that they stole was. Since I have found this page, I understand why they got so b**chy about me telling them that they stole from me. I did, finally, get all but 10 cents of my payment back. They sent out cancellation notices to SS, but not for just the duplicate withholding orders, for all four of them!! April, they did not take a payment at all. Now, in the past week, I have received FOUR withholding notices!!!! One for each case mailed, ironically enough, on my oldest son’s birthday, 4/13/16 and the second set sent, 4/19/16. I am calling them on Monday!
    I have no credit and nothing for collateral to try to get a bank loan to pay these off. It is not my husband’s fault and I will not let him pay it off as it is not his responsibility and they are not his kids. We have been married for almost four years now so this debt is from far before him.
    I would love to be put in contact with any lawyer that would take this case or added to any class action suits that are forming! I don’t ask for much. Just that ODJFS pay my lawyer fees and all of my arrears are completely and totally erased!
    The problem is, I’m 800 miles away, and my bad health prevents me from making that trip alone. My husband is an Owner/Operator truck driver and can’t afford to take the week off to go with me as he just found out that his truck needs a heart transplant (new engine) and he doesn’t want me to go alone. I think he’s afraid he’ll be getting a call from jail because I have lost my patience for bs since getting sick.
    Any pointers or referrals would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my sob story.
    There is another, far better part to this story though. My third child, 16 year old boy, has a story along the lines of Dixie’s story a few comments above. His Father and I had shared custody with a child support order from 2001- 2004 (when we went back to court for custody after I moved back to Nebraska). We had been engaged during and after my pregnancy but then he became an alcoholic and emotionally abusive towards me but never our son. The mediator was shocked when we went in front of her to settle out of court (2001) because we already had practically everything decided. She brought up two or three points that he and I had not thought of which we quickly worked through right there. The only reason I was awarded child support was because he had a full time job and I only worked part time. If either of us needed anything for our son and could not afford it, we asked the other one. No big deal. His parents would babysit if I needed it and mine would if he needed it. If we needed to switch a day or weekend, we did if possible.
    Our son has grown into a very smart (skipped 1st grade), caring young man that absolutely loves to come out to Nebraska to visit with me, Dad (my hubby), and Grandpa (my father- in- law). He and my father- in- law have become quite the pair of fishing buddies! Lol! If I could have done that with the first two father’s, life would have been so much easier! I never would have had to “temporarily” transfer custody and get tangled up with ODJFS in the first place! Grandma used to say “hindsight’s always 20/20”.