Three Child Support Moms (CSMs) Attempt to Defend the Indefensible – Themselves

First and foremost I wish to state that yes, I do recognize that there are many legitimate situations where child support is warranted, especially in the case of the true deadbeat parents (not just dads, but also moms) who like the animals that they are, have abandoned their children in all regards.

With having been said, I do not direct any of what I wrote herein to those good and loving single mothers receiving child support, who were forced to separate themselves and their children from their fathers due to circumstances that were beyond their control.

Therefore, if you’re reading this and you are indeed one of those moms, please know that none of what I’ve written is directed at you, nor does it in any way apply to you, as I fully believe that you had to act, in order to be acting in the best interest of your children as any good and loving mom would do.

What I state in the forthcoming is only directed to the likes of those I address below who appear to be a textbook example of true “child support moms” (CSMs).

CSMs are those who absolve themselves of all personal responsibility related to the birth of their children as if it “just happened”, and it’s always the ‘man’s fault’. In other words, they somehow got pregnant because of the man’s carelessness, but never their own.

They use phrases like, “he got me pregnant” as if they played no part in the process whatsoever. So what happened, did he walk by you and you suddenly became pregnant as if by magic? Did he sprinkle pixie dust on you whilst you were sleeping and that miraculously impregnated you? Were you a willing participant? Was he a magician? Was “your” baby conceived through immaculate conception?

They accuse the man “who got them pregnant” of being irresponsible for not using birth control, but they completely (and hypocritically) dismiss their own choice not to use their own birth control in the same situation wherein they became pregnant. Does that make sense to you?

“HE GOT ME PREGNANT” they scream as they’re pointing an accusatory finger in shame at him. From there and until they collect their last “child support” check, they play the role of a victim (and increasingly so) with each passing year as they demand more and more “child support.”

As if they were an unwilling and unknowing participant in an act of willful intercourse involving unprotected sex, or where birth control failed. “I need more ‘child support’. I’m a ‘single-mom’…by choice…funny how they always leave the most important detail out of that statement; by choice.

Next, and after hypocritically dismissing their own responsibility for getting pregnant “unexpectedly.”And that, while completely ignoring their unilateral decision to kick her child’s father out of their lives,  they then demand that the man involved not only pay 100% of the financial support for “their” child, but pay such exorbitant amounts of child support that it supports her lifestyle, and as if the child would see any of it anyway.

It’s often such ridiculous amounts of child support that in reality it’s nothing more than “mommy support” aka “mommy welfare” as it more than pays for all of the child’s expenses and all of hers too in some cases.

That having been said, the true financial cost of raising a child include nothing more than direct expenses that are spent on that child alone, and they should be shared equally by both parties involved.  What they don’t include are items such as, rent, a mortgage, utilities etc, as such supports the household. And everyone supporting such (including the child support paying noncustodial (NC) mom or dad) has those same expenses.

Finally, these same CSMs in many cases kick the father out of his child’s life, deny him “visitation” and or access to the child, and continue to demand more and more of his money (in the form of child support of course) that in most cases is never spent on the child, but is in fact “mommy support” or “mommy welfare” at dad’s expense.

The most hypocritical of it all, is that these very same CSMs went through the courts and DEMANDED sole custody of the children involved. I have a novel idea for you CSMs, stop complaining that you can’t steal enough in “child support” and instead give the father sole custody and you pay him nothing! Problem solved! See how easy that is? How does that work for you? What??? It doesn’t??? Why not??? Ohh,  you don’t want to lose your newfound tax-free (at dad’s expense of course) income windfall now do you???

Think about it. You would no longer have to complain about not receiving “child support” from the very same man whom you forcefully separated from his children (against his will in most cases) using the strong-arm of the courts.

That said, and given how many truly pressing issues there are that warrant my attention, I’d normally not waste precious time responding to a Conga Line of child support moms (CSMs) who are nothing more than rabble rousing income stealing whiners.

Three of them in fact, who conferred and decided to post nonsense as comments rather than well-reasoned and logical points with which to debate with. And there’s a very good reason they’ve posted such weak “arguments” as they have; it’s because there’s no defending those CSM’s despicable behavior, so they’re left with nothing to support their position.

So when one can’t defend on logic, merit, principle, and morals, what are they left with? Only the baseless attacking of that which they disagree with, because as the saying goes, “the truth hurts.”

With that having been said, I’ll respond to each posters comments this time, but am adding this disclaimer which is directed not only to three below who merely want to engage in childish tactics, but to others with the same mindset; I’m not going to make a habit out of wasting my time responding to stupid comments such as these.

I welcome debate, and I welcome opposing opinions. However, what I don’t welcome are the childish comments of those who lack the wherewithal to formulate a position based on merits, and whereby they’ve failed to state a factual position on which they disagree with me.

More specifically, the holier-than-thou childish comments such as the forthcoming that were posted as comments to this blog entry. are of the type to which I’m referring.

LeTisha
2011/10/14 at 07:51

“I would like to know how long has it been since the divorce…how old is the child(ren) with your first wife and why did you got get a ready made family that you had to support and end up having another kid when you already had a financial obligation that was burdensome? -LeTisha

Hi LeTisha,
My first response two your first two questions is that it’s none of your business. And truthfully? I’m utterly perplexed as to why you think it’s any of your business. To your next question, “why did you got get a ready made family that you had to support,” my response is, “that too is none of your business, but surprisingly, I still want to answer it.” That said, my answer is, “because I decided to.” I see absolutely no point in your question, no point whatsoever; and at it’s basic level, it makes zero sense and is utterly stupid.

Are you implying that because my ex-spouse broke a contract (a marriage is legally binding contract “don’t cha know?”) then used the courts to pilfer my income through “child support”, and removed my daughter from my life, that I should never marry, or perhaps not marry when I did? If that’s so, then to you I say this; That’s once again really stupid, and again-none of your business, and who are you to tell or suggest to me, or question me or any father with regard to what to do or not to do?

Why do you engage in sexual activity without employing proper birth control ahead of time? See how that “none of your business stuff” works? How about you mind your own business huh? Based on what you go on to say below, you’re obviously doing a very poor job at that.

Why did you have children? If you’re going to whine and complain about not being able to generate a profit with your uterus, after all, that’s all “child support” is in most cases, an unearned, undeserved profit that’s generated by a golden uterus, then don’t have children! How does that one work for ya?

If you choose to have children outside of marriage, or choose to unilaterally dissolve a marriage, then give the father full custody so you no longer have to boo-hoo about trying to collect “mommy welfare” which is all that “child support” is right? Lets not kid ourselves nor beat around the bush here okay? This is a blog where big people talk, so keep in mind that big people might say very harsh albeit wholly truthful things, because that’s what needs to be done to get the truth out there, got it?

So the child(ren) of your previous marriage should go without because you are remarried with a family to provide for? -LeTisha

Who said my daughter should go without, I didn’t? Additionally, who says she doesn’t go without and despite the “child support” that’s extorted from me? I didn’t. What you offer is nothing more than a bunch of baseless accusations and assumptions. Can you tell me that my daughter doesn’t want for nothing because of what I’m forced to pay monthly for having her taken out my life against my will? Do you know anything about how or where she lives or what she does or doesn’t have? Have you any sense whatsoever? Are you an idiot? Do you believe that a law should be mandated whereby one should have to pass an IQ test to bear children?

If your wife does not work then how is she received a tax return and $920.00 is a significant amount to receive from the Bush Stimulus package, meaning she was making a significant amount of money while employed. -LeTisha

Really? Say it ain’t so? Can you also tell me in what year she had to make that “significant amount of money” and if it could pay only the utilities and a $1,300/mo mortgage? Also, what were all of the guidelines behind the Bush tax cuts?

Secondly, how is you receive $1600.00 a month in unemployment compensation, with a family of 5 but don’t qualify for Medicaid ( even if you don’t your kids do and they pay for braces) or Foodstamps.. -LeTisha

I received $1,600.00 per month in unemployment compensation because I applied for it. Neat concept huh? Kinda like how all of you child support moms steal child support, by applying for it, right? In truth though, I only received $800.00 month, but thanks for asking, seriously. Although I hope my answer didn’t confound you as I sense that you’re easily turned in endless circles.

It was supposed to be $1,600.00 per month ($400.00 wk), but the State seized half of it ($1,600 – $800 = $800) for “child support.” And I didn’t qualify for Medicaid because I was said to have a “child support” (aka mommy support) arrears because they wouldn’t apply our seized tax returns. Therefore, that alleged arrears disqualified me from receiving any public assistance. And one more “small” reason I didn’t qualify? Uhm, I didn’t have custody? Do you get Medicaid or food stamps for your neighbor’s children? You know what? Don’t answer that…

I live in Ohio, make more than you do, and my one child qualifies for Medicaid…sorry but your story doesn’t seem to add up..seems as if you are looking for a pity party…I bet there is more to the story along with more income somewhere and that’s how your CS got increased..-LeTisha

On the income issue, how is it you foolishly assert that you “make more than me” when you in fact have absolutely no idea what my income is? What a foolish statement to make.

On the Medicaid issue, that’s the difference between you and I, and for that matter, between myself and most child support (aka mommy welfare) moms, I would never accept food stamps or “free” health care, because that child is yours and the father’s responsibility, not mine the taxpayer’s.

Not only do I happily support my own family, I’m now forced to support yours, and that’s wrong and both morally and financially very irresponsible of you. Have you no shame? Nor would I accept “child support” because I believe in personal responsibility, taking care of myself, and taking care of and financially supporting my own children. Neat concept huh? I can’t wait until that one catches on with you child support moms!
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Kimberly York
2011/10/14 at 06:44

While I feel sorry for you I am on the otherside of the coin.
My son needs braces badly but, my x cant even pay the 154.00 a month child support. He quit his job back 10 years ago the day after childsupport was ordered and is working under the table.
He owes 20,558.00. In back childsupport I have had to work two jobs so my children could have the thing they need.
Im soory but here are a few questions on youre issues? Why are you in arrears, do you not feel any responsibility towards youre child?

Hi Kimberly! Who said I’m in arrears? Last time I checked, I was about $6,000 overpaid. See how ridiculous you look by dropping in like an idiot on a freak parade, not knowing anything about me, forming an opinion based on one post, then posting a comment (I use that term very loosely) about me?

While I feel sorry for you I am on the otherside of the coin. -Kimberly York

Oh no, you don’t Kimmy, and I wouldn’t brag about being a thief okay? Also, stop patronizing me as I’m a whole lot smarter than you think.

My son needs braces badly but, my x cant even pay the 154.00 a month child support. He quit his job back 10 years ago the day after childsupport was ordered and is working under the table. -Kimberly York

I think I can see why he’s your ex, but that aside, and assuming I’m wrong and you instead kicked him out of your son’s life and not the other way around, why should he have to pay you anything then? Why don’t you stop complaining and give your ex sole custody you mooch? That way, you don’t have to worry about collecting mommy welfare (oopsie, I mean “child support”) and then you can learn at what (28-34 years old?) to put your big girl undies on and support yourself?

Novel concept isn’t it? Instead of you child support moms (CSMs aka mommy welfare moms) constantly complaining about “child support” that God (and all of us) knows you spend on yourselves anyway, on things like cigarettes, beer, clothes, vacations, manicures, pedicures etc etc; you get a job and support your household on your own? Come on, think about it, you may actually like it as you’ll finally feel like an adult!

He owes 20,558.00. In back childsupport I have had to work two jobs so my children could have the thing they need. -Kimberly York

I don’t know Kimberly (can I call you Kim, it’s a lot less typing for me okay Kim?), it seems to me that you’ve just contradicted yourself. You say here that you’ve had to work two jobs so your children can have the things they need (by the way, welcome to the real world where the adults play!), yet just above, you state that your son “needs” braces “badly.” So obviously, you don’t provide the things your children need. Perhaps you need stop being so self-centered and get a third job or get two other jobs that pay better and start providing for your children?

And if you think I’m being facetious or sarcastic, think again. If that were my son, I’d be working three, four, five,  or however many jobs it took to get my son in braces, rather than wasting someone else’s time by complaining like a child on their blog about your ex not paying his “child support.” Truth be told Kimberly, I think there’s a good chance that you’re…….

So many of you child support moms talk out of both sides of your mouths just like you’re doing here. On one side, you complain that you don’t get your “child support” (aka mommy welfare) and that your exes don’t pay because they’re unemployed or whatever, but no matter what their reasons for not paying, they’re always inexcusable in the CSM’s eyes.

For example, a CSMs ex is involuntarily unemployed, so he can no longer (but wants to) pay his child support. In such scenarios, you CSMs scream, whine, complain and demand that he should go to jail because he’s not paying his child support, and that his unemployment is no excuse for not paying his support.

However, hypocrites such as yourself then turn around and say, “I can’t afford to pay for braces because my ex doesn’t pay his child support“, and you therefore choose not to pay for them. So your argument is that his involuntarily(in many cases)  unemployment is not a valid excuse for not paying you your mommy support, but on the same hand argue that you aren’t getting the braces because you aren’t getting the support?

Do you see the utter hypocrisy there? Lack of income (unemployment) in his case isn’t a valid excuse for him not paying child support, but lack of income (child support) in your case is a valid excuse for not paying for your son’s much needed braces?

In many areas $154.00 per month (which you in reality probably do get for child support) would pay for braces. But you ‘choosing’ not to get your son his much needed braces makes you appear more evil than he, because by our own admission he’s unemployed, and you admit to having two jobs (at some point) while your ex according to you has none.  If you really aren’t “passing Go” and collecting that free money, then cut back as needed to afford those braces hypocrite! I would if he were my child! You appear to be more of a deadbeat than he.

I would never deny my child something so important as braces on the sorry excuse that “you aren’t getting child support“, that’s inexcusable and despicable. So you choose to allow your child to go without a much needed orthodontic procedure and use the pathetic and irresponsible excuse, “I can’t get “my” child support?” There are many noncustodial moms and dads who are homeless, or they go without heat in winter or food on their own table  because they paid their child support. Do you see what I’m getting at? Of course you don’t, so I’ll explain it. Those child support paying parents put their child’s needs above their own.

Yet on the other side of your mouths, and out of utter selfishness and being self-centered, you whine about “not being able to afford braces” and why? Because, you can’t collect your “child support.” Guess what? That’s no excuse for making your son suffer by having to go without those braces in his mouth. Did you get that?

Go out and get another job or go out and pick garbage (just as I did to put food in my daughter’s mouth years ago) by selling what I pulled from others’ trash in yard sales. I know your type, and I know them all too well. Even if your ex paid what he was ordered to, you’d still be spending those “child support” dollars on yourself as I suspect you are now, and your son would still be without his braces. You’re despicable. Don’t bring a child into this world that you aren’t willing to support.

Even if your ex was paying what he was supposed to, you’d still be complaining that he didn’t pay enough and ‘your’ son still wouldn’t have his braces. I know your type, it’s all about you and your selfish greed for your own benefit.

Im soory but here are a few questions on youre issues? Why are you in arrears, do you not feel any responsibility towards youre child? -Kimberly York

You’re 100% correct, you are sorry, but more than you’ll ever know, trust me. Any parent that would deny their child braces as you are is indeed a sorry excuse for a parent. And read my blog before you post your mindless garbage as a comment, I’m not in arrears, I was nearly $8,0000 overpaid and am still nearly $6,000 so.

And I’m also “soory”why don’t you feel any responsibility for your son? Stay with me here okay? I know it’s going to be difficult for you, but I’m going to walk you through your logic here alright?

I personally no nothing of the details of your case, IE if you block “visitation” don’t allow your son to see or speak to his father, although I suspect you’ll allege “he wants nothing to do with ‘my’ son”. But please forgive me for my frankness, you strike me as the type to claim such while you’re intentionally and very purposefully preventing him from having a relationship with ‘your’ son.

That said, lets stipulate that your ex (or one night stand?) is really not paying child support and is therefore acting irresponsibly okay? Did you get that? I’m agreeing with you Kim.  So based on him being irresponsible by not paying you mommy support; I’m sorry, I mean “child support”, you argue that your son needs braces, but you can’t afford them. So neither you nor I approve of his irresponsibility, it’s inexcusable and it’s wrong.

But do you know what else I disapprove of? Your irresponsibility and selfishness. Just because your ex doesn’t pay his child support, doesn’t excuse your irresponsibility in choosing not to purchase braces for your son. Again, you admit, that he needs braces, but what you won’t admit is that you choose not to pay for his braces. Don’t tell me that between working two jobs, you can’t (or couldn’t) afford something so important to him. Don’t tell me that you can’t go without something like your new shoes, clothes, cigarettes, (you strike me as the smoking type, no pun intended) pop, cell phone, jewelery, beer, shopping trips, makeup, or any number of items that you purchase regularly with disposable income.

At it’s core, your logic is, “I’m not supporting my son (by refusing to get him braces) because my ex won’t support him, and that’s selfish, self-centered, despicable and very unloving. Why? It’s so because you’re choosing to allow your son to go to school or wherever without a mouth that’s in need of serious orthodontic work (remember, you said he needs braces) that you refuse to pay (by choosing not to afford them) for because your ex refuses to pay you. Your ex’s irresponsibility does NOT excuse yours. In fact, in my opinion, yours is worse because you know he needs braces and your ex may not if he’s not involved in your son’s life.

Who besides you (an utter hypocrite) implied or said that I didn’t feel any responsibility for my child? Do you feel any responsibility for your son? More specifically, to pay for his braces? Obviously not. Or do you attempt to justify such an hateful action by refusing his braces because you allege that your ex refuses to pay “child support.” Do you know what that makes you? Not only no better than him, but worse than him.

You talk about how you wont have any money to provide entertainment for youre child oooh that really makes me sorry for you, not. -Kimberly York

You “talk” and thereby through it, prove yourself to be a very childish, selfish, and mindless individual. You know who I feel sorry for? Your son, because he needs braces and you won’t pay for them. I wonder, is he extremely self-conscious about his smile that his mother doesn’t concern herself with?

You are currently living the way alot of us single moms live hope you enjoy it!!! -Kimberly York

Boo hoo, cry me a river huh? Those like you try as you may want to present yourself as some type of hero and victim, when in fact the opposite is true; you’re villains. Not only have most of you kicked the father out of “his” child’s lives, via the strong-arm of the court’s, you steal his income through mommy welfare (aka “child support”) spend the money on yourselves, raise the children in less than desirable (and in some cases utterly deplorable conditions) in fatherless havens that are anything but.

And if that weren’t bad enough, you get together, sit around, and complain about not being able to steal enough of his income through “child support,” and devise more ways (like lying about daycare) to do so.

Look around and see the decadence on display in America today. What do you see? Child after child that’s “fatherless” because many a CSM has decided that “her” child doesn’t need a father. Then, as the child grows up, they witness first hand the misandry that’s so prevalent in those fatherless pits where behind one door after the next (just like a Price is Right horror show) is just another pathetic CSM who chose to deprive her child(ren) of a father. Then they wonder why so many boys grow up with discipline problems, get into trouble, are no respecter of persons and ultimately end up incarcerated.

Why is it you fathers think you can have all the fun with youre children but no of the finacial responsibility. -Kimberly York

Who besides a child support mom like yourself would foolishly claim that the hell we must go through (because of CSMs such as you) in order to see and be a part of our precious child’s life is “having all the fun?” Do you really think that dealing with a CSM such as yourself is a fun process for the father or the children involved? Why do you child support moms all think that kicking a father out of his child’s life, stealing his income, and preventing him from having contact with his child is OK, justifiable, righteous and fun?

My x says hes making me rich if he pays his support. Believe me 154.00 a month isnt making me rich by any means and just barily pays for my sons school lunches. Grow up, put youre big boy pants on and go out there and find a job maybe two like some of us single moms have to and support youre children!!!!!

And that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Getting rich off of a father’s money through extorted “child support” right? All of which is you spend on yourself to begin with in about 65% of cases as studies have shown. Here’s you, a CSM who refuses to get her son braces, lecturing me, a father who’s about $6,000 overpaid in “child support” about supporting “youre (sic) children?”

How about you stop complaining about how much money you can’t steal from the man who statistically speaking you probably kicked out or your son’s life, get off your lazy rear end, get another job and get your son the braces he so desperately needs? I would work ten jobs if that’s what it took to get my child in braces rather than deny them as you willingly do.

Perhaps it’s you who is the deadbeat, because $154 per month would pay for braces. And if you’re “so poor”, then why aren’t you packing your son’s lunches, is it because the taxpayers are paying for those too? Also, funny how you can afford a computer system and monthly high speed internet service, but you “can’t afford” your son’s braces. I bet you also have cable tv or satellite don’t you you thieving hypocrite.

bri
2011/10/14 at 00:06
Only problem with your story is…… and it’s a sincere question but if you were working why did they show up to your job and arrest you? I am truly sorry but NO C.S.E does that if you’re paying even a minimal portion of your income. Might be a little more to the story????????? Maybe you fell on hard times….. But somehow you still got behind and obviously failed to support your daughter, at all, for at least 3 months. I know the laws of support enforcement. When you failed to support your daughter those months, we you supporting yourself and new family? That my friend….. is wrong. Now I’m sure I’m like soooo way off on this but truth is…. Even if you pay 5 dollars a month, every month, they won’t arrest you. That is fact.

Only problem with you “bri” is your limited intellectual capacity. My story doesn’t add up, or are you without the necessary cognitive ability to do the addition? It makes perfect sense if you have intelligence, read more than post on the blog, then make a fool of yourself by commenting like a child.

I am truly sorry but NO C.S.E does that if you’re paying even a minimal portion of your income. -bri

Yes, you’re correct bri, you are truly sorry. It’s so obvious that you’re so because I can tell that you’re such without ever having met you. That aside, who said the C.S.E. did that? I didn’t. In fact, I believe I said “the system” did right? Can you read, or do you just make things up as you go along?

Also, since you make the false claim that “NO C.S.E. does that if you’re paying even a minimal portion of your income,” can you tell my why any child support payment that’s even $1 less than the amount is considered a missed payment in Ohio? Can you tell me why there are currently fathers in Ohio prisons who did pay “a minimal portion of their income?” Of course you can’t, you’re a lying idiot.

Can you explain to me what a “purge order” is and what happens when you can’t, not don’t want to, but can’t comply? Of course you can’t, because you don’t even know what I’m talking about do you? Nope, just like your friend above, you just make things up and because “you” assert “that’s a fact”,  and you’re really foolish enough to believe that not just I, but others will actually believe you right?

You know what the “fact” is here? You’re so full of it that not only are your eyes are brown, you don’t even know what you’re talking about. That bri, is the only fact in your “story.” You nothing about the law or child support collections. You’re simply the typical far less than stellar CSM who is most likely a terrible and abusive parent.

“But somehow you still got behind and obviously failed to support your daughter, at all, for at least 3 months.-bri”

Is that so bri? Were you there? Do you know me personally? What is “supporting your daughter,” what does that mean? I’ll tell you what it means coming from a thieving child support mom (CSM) such as yourself; what it means is a leeching CSM such as you didn’t get her stolen monthly “child support” stipend.

Your greedy motives are so exceedingly blatant, that they’re as clearly bright and illuminant as is the North Star. You know why? I’ll explain it to you using your own words to convict you of being the vile and loathsome wretch that you are.

Take notice of your words just above where you state, “…and obviously failed to support your daughter at all for at least three months.” It’s interesting how you equate entirely “supporting” a child with only dollars. Allow me to explain that to you. You accuse me (fallaciously and falsely I might add) of failing to support my daughter “at all.” Obviously, your idea of supporting a child entirely (within the scope of the duties as a noncustodial parent) is limited to only sending money to a leech like you under the pretense of “child support.”

That said, isn’t talking with, encouraging, spending time with, playing with dolls, and having tea parties with my daughter also supporting her? Not in your eyes is it, you money grubbing reprobate. How about helping her with her homework, buying her clothes, putting food on the table, providing a roof over her head, aren’t all of those things supporting her? Nope, not in the eyes of a vile child support mom like you though right? To a degenerate such as you, “supporting a child” is nothing more than you collecting child support that’s used for your own purposes, not those of the child(ren) involved.

I don’t know you, I’ve never met you, but I do know this; any “parent” who equates supporting a child with sending money (aka mommy welfare/’child support) only, is usually the same type of parent who at the receiving end of those dollars is most likely spending them all on herself. You know how I know that? It’s simple. Any decent good and loving noncustodial parent who has any morals and would never make a comment that by its context clearly asserts that the only way to “support” a child is with money.

How about you talk to some kids who were raised by wealthy parents, and had everything they could ever want for, with the exception of that which mattered most; their parents. They had parents, but their parents were  never around and therefore chose to employ handlers (nannies, housekeepers etc) for their children and the handlers became surrogate parents to the kids.

So do you think children in those situations would define “supporting them” as only providing them money after they were provided with everything they ever wanted in a materialistic sense? You selfish CSMs who do nothing but spend the “child support” on themselves are so easy to spot, because you always equate supporting (in its entirety) a child with only money.

I know the laws of support enforcement. When you failed to support your daughter those months, we you supporting yourself and new family? That my friend….. is wrong. Now I’m sure I’m like soooo way off on this but truth is…. Even if you pay 5 dollars a month, every month, they won’t arrest you. That is fact.-bri

No, you don’t know the laws of support enforcement as you’re not even from Ohio you lying filth. You also lie about your inference that I wasn’t paying support at that time because I was. Had you read other posts before making an utter fool of yourself as you so clearly have, you would have learned that I was jailed for contempt on a matter that was NOT related to “child support.” Additionally, I was in fact overpaid at that time as well where you assumed I was jailed for nonsupport when I in fact wasn’t.  Do you see how that works you ignorant buffoon?

Would you like for me to continue to demonstrate just how immeasurably stupid the rest of your “logic” is as you ramble on in your incoherent and inherent stupidity?

You also said, “When you failed to support your daughter those months, we (sic) you supporting yourself and new family? That my friend….. is wrong.-bri” Even though I didn’t fail to support my daughter in any manner (despite you defining support as only mommy welfare at the teat of an ex) during the time you inferred that I did, you assert that, “it’s wrong” to support myself and new family.

First, define support genius. Is “support” picking garbage to put food on the table? Is support no utilities? Also, did I choose to kick my daughter out of my life so that I could be extorted for “child support?” Did I choose to have my contact with my daughter limited to certain days and times of the week? Did I walk out of my daughter’s life, or was I kicked out through the strong-arm of the court and thereby unwillingly forced into limited contact via a “visitation order?”

No you clown, I didn’t go willingly. So why is it when a pathetic thieving child support mom such as yourself unilaterally decides to kick a father out of his child’s life against his will and by using the strong-arm of the courts, that you should be paid and thereby financially rewarded for your vile and despicable actions? Actions whereby you’ve unilaterally decided to cheat yet another child out of a father while they grow up?

That aside, do you assert that I shouldn’t provide a roof over my “new families” head, and that I shouldn’t feed them or myself so we all can starve to death? Because as you asked, “When you failed to support your daughter those months, we (sic) you supporting yourself and new family? That my friend….. is wrong.-bri” Really??? Is that wrong bri??? What should I have done (aside from the fact that I’ve always supported my daughter) walked my new wonderful new wife and stepsons off of a cliff?

In closing, and to all of my readers, please know and understand the following. I am not a misogynist. I’m married to a beautiful and wonderful woman (whose two sons I’m very proud to call my stepsons)  and have an incredibly lovely and precious daughter.

I do recognize that there are also “child support dads” out there (although they are far fewer numbers since about 84% of moms nationwide have sole custody), and that some fathers also engage in the despicable actions as described herein. So what I’ve written here is directed at them as well.

I also believe that there are cases where child support is warranted. Although I italicize child support because studies have shown that in most cases, little to none of the “child support” dollars is actually spent on the children themselves, but rather it goes to support the custodial mom’s or dad’s lifestyle.

With that having been said, it’s important that you know that because of what I do as a father’s rights advocate (and I do help noncustodial moms too), and in about 99.9% of the cases I’ve been involved with, it involves those pathetic excuses for parents such as LeTisha, bri, and Kimberly.

I know their type, and I can spot them “hundreds of miles of comments away.” They are the type who use their children as pawns, interfere with the father’s “visitation” and all forms of his attempted contact with his child(ren). They bad  mouth the fathers of their children in front of the kids, spend all “child support” monies on themselves, use filthy language around their children, scream and yell at their children, engage in parental alienation and  gleefully and pervertedly employ many other forms of emotional and psychological abuse, use the children (and their physical and emotional well being)  to “get at” their fathers, and are all around horrible and destructive parents.

That does not mean that all custodial moms are as these three stooges are because they’re not. I believe that the majority of custodial moms are very good and loving moms, and that they do everything within their power to ensure that their children’s father play a meaningful role in his life. I also acknowledge that there are many moms who divorced for legitimate reasons.

However, that doesn’t mean that I condone the majority of cases where a mother kicked a father out of hers and her children’s lives in a unilateral decision (hers) and whereby she now collects excessive amounts of child support from him. In most cases, I believe that such is morally wrong and is no different than stealing. Especially those where the father didn’t ask to be (nor played a part in) being kicked out of his child’s life and then was forced to finance the fleecing of his own children through “child support. It’s theft, plain and simple, in most cases. Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s morally right and just.

If you want to divorce, fine. But that doesn’t give you a moral nor an ethical right to take sole custody of the children involved and then steal (I honestly believe it’s the equivalent of theft in many cases) child support from him. Give dad sole custody then you don’t have to worry about “child support.” I’m sorry, but it is as simple as that.

Finally, I wrote this post well over a week ago, and considered whether or not I should post it as I worried about how unprofessional it might appear given that I did engage in a certain level of personal attacks, as that truly isn’t like me.

I have no qualms about attacking organizations and have always gone to great lengths to avoid direct and personal attacks on people themselves, as I believe that to be wrong and unprofessional. So much so, that with regard to this particular post and what I’ve said, I waited to post it because of my ambivalence.

However, and even after closer than two weeks of this being in draft, I’m still just as ambivalent about posting it as I was the day I began writing it. Despite seeking my wife’s guidance and opinion of which I value and cherish immensely as she’s a very wise woman, I’m still no less conflicted about posting this.

Reason being, and although I don’t intend to offend or in any way insult good and loving single moms by choice who were forced to be so after acting in the best interests of their children, my fear is that some may misconstrue what I’ve said as being directed at them, and it’s not.

Nonetheless, I’ve decided to post this because given how bad things are “in the trenches”, and considering that some fathers are driven to suicide in their efforts to maintain a relationship with their children.  Their decision to take their lives is often helped along by too many years of having to go through mothers like those I’ve addressed above in their attempts to be a good and loving father to their children. That having been said, there’s too much at stake for noncustodial mothers and fathers alike (and more importantly their children) for me to be mousey.

Sincerely,

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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2 Responses to Three Child Support Moms (CSMs) Attempt to Defend the Indefensible – Themselves

  1. Rachael says:

    Mr . Fantetti,

    I came across your blog today while I was searching for information, complaints and other resources in regard to the Hamilton County Child Support Office. I read through your posts and replies, seeing a common concern that being the incompetence of the child support offices. I have a few questions for you, if I may and please be mindful that from your posts I believe that you support and nuture your daughter in ways that alot of folks don’t,be them child support mom’s/dad’s or non-custodial fathers or mothers. While I do not agree with you on many points it is not postion to question you, or challenge that postion.

    I am a single working mother who is owed an arrearge of child support, the father in my situation makes a nice living and is comfortable when he chooses to work, other times he lives off money he worked for and saved. He deliberatly does not pay support unless he is forced, which in his case is not frequent. He does not make himself available emotionally to my son, infact often times stands him up, doesn’t call. He has not shown up to one football game, one school event, one surgery. He entertains the notion of having a son when he feels guilt, against my better judgement I allow him around whenever he calls, as he is my sons father.

    He intiated the court actions that resulted in the established orders thinking that he could scam the courts and pay close to nothing as he is contractor. Long story short the order is there and not inforced. Any payment that I have recieved from the child support office is one that I had to call in to say, ” Hey he is working why are there no monies” or “hey he is on unemployment why are you not withholding”.

    The common response that I get when asking the office why it is that they do not look for this info and how could they not possibly know that he was on unemployment ,is that they are under staffed or it was overlooked. I often escalte the calls to managers, supervisors and district attorney’s who all say that proper procedure had not been followed and that in fact I am correct they should have at least looked at the file in the last 6 months. This is unexceptable to me coming from a company that my and my sons fathers tax dollars pay to support. While yes he plays catch me if you can, and yes I am often upset that months go by that he is not accountable for his child in any respect, I feel that the state should not allow him to rack up arrearge, drag him in court and waste more tax dollars when he was working and on unemployment the whole time. They should have done what they are paid to do and monitored the case.

    I am at the point with this whole process that I want to reach out to the masses like you have, though alot my points conflict with yours. The State process is flawed. Not just for the fathers, for mothers for the kids and for all the tax payers that support it, I like you hope to make these issues visible. I am not yet sure the venue or process, I will work that out.

    If anything Tony your blog gave a view from the flip side of a situation, and a little inspriation though in the future we may be on the side from different perspectives.

    Have a great Holiday!

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Rachael,

      To be frank, I was originally shocked that your case is in Hamilton County, given that they are failing at even the most basic withholding tasks. And that, to such an extent that you’re receiving nothing.

      There are a lot of lazy incompetents at many of Ohio’s county CSEAs, but that aside, for what you’re experiencing to occur in Hamilton County was truly surprising to me; at first.

      Then, after thinking about what you wrote, the following occurred to me, so I’m therefore now not in the least surprised about your experiences.

      The fact that they collected nothing while he was collecting unemployment wasn’t an oversight, it was a choice on one or more person’s parts.

      It’s true that many of the CSEAs have cut back on employees, and perhaps that’s partly behind you not receiving any child support payments. But there’s more to it if that’s the indeed the case, and I can offer you a logical explanation; it’s not worth it (in terms of profit) for the Hamilton County CSEA to pursue the father of your son.

      In other words Rachael, the amount of his arrears, and them deploying the required resources to collect that arrears, wouldn’t generate enough profit for them to recoup not only their costs in pursuing him, but to add substantially to their own bottom line.

      Therefore, they’re willfully going to ignore “the smaller fish” (IE cases like yours) in this current economic climate and concentrate on the other cases with the larger arrearages. Reason being, collecting on those pays the Hamilton County CSEA, and pays them well, and that in turn improves their profit margin.

      We both may very well be on opposite sides of this issue in many regards Rachael, but this I can assure you of. Neither the Hamilton County CSEA, nor the State of Ohio cares in the least about you, your son, nor his child support payments; you both are just a number to them. Both of those entities cares only about the profit they can earn off of the both of you.

      Sure, you may find individuals within “the system” who truly do care about some of those they interact with. But collectively, and at the upper levels of the CSEAs and the State, it’s nothing more than a numbers game to those people. And the only number they care about is the one that adds to Ohio’s bottom line.

      Thanks for you comment, and merry Christmas to you Rachael.

      Sincerely,

      Tony Fantetti

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