Good and Loving Ohio Father Asks “Why?”

The following is my emailed response to an Ohio father who moved here from Georgia and had custody through a Georgia court, of his two children whom he raised alone, and without any assistance from the mother of his children who also lived in Ohio.

Despite having already been granted full legal and residential custody of his children, an Ohio Court told him “you’re in Ohio now” when the children’s mother went to an Ohio court and said, “I’m the mother, I should have custody.

Not surprisingly, the Ohio Court, and with no legal authority whatsoever, granted her temporary custody of the children that he already had full custody of. How’s that for Ohio’s corrupted “Family Court” system.

As a result of Ohio asserting legal authority it didn’t have over that father’s Georgia case, the father (“Bill”) had to endure 5 separate custody trials that costs him between $40,000 and $45,000. And despite prevailing every time, he couldn’t get more than 2 1/2 days “visitation” every other week with a third child, a son, who was born in Ohio to a different mother.

Why? He proved himself to be a great father (hence the reason the Georgia court granted him full custody) and raised two children without assistance from their mother, and additionally he had a Georgia Court’s order that named him as the sole legal and residential parent.

There’s more to the story, and I hope that another organization (that I contacted) takes Bill’s case up and at least Blogs about it, as their writing is incredibly talented and offers a legal perspective as well given it’s done by an attorney.

Believe me when I say that I know the feeling when the light at the end of the tunnel is just that of another train that’s coming at you, head on, and to deliver yet another payload of destruction in life.

_____________________________________________

Bill,

First and foremost, thanks for your acknowledgement and gratitude with regard to my advocacy, I sincerely appreciate your kind words. My advice to you is to take it one day at a time, as it will get better for you and your children in time, and please know that I’m being wholly sincere in saying that.

More than that, you need to find healthy ways to manage the crushing stress that’s brought about by the injustices and hatefulness of Ohio’s “Family Court” system.

I lost everything; 3 houses, a life time of perfect credit, my retirement savings, my job, my freedom (through incarceration for the first time in my life at the hands of “Family Court”) as well as, and most importantly, unfettered access to my precious daughter. But it’s not about me, it’s about all of us, and all of our children.

In all honesty, I’m thankful for what happened to me. Reason being, I can use it to demonstrate how broken and how unjust Ohio’s “Family Court” and “Child Support” Enforcement (aka Extortion) Agency are. Additionally, I can in turn use that to fight against the same which very hatefully, unjustly, and intentionally decimated both my daughter’s and my own life.

My “child support” order at one point was $1,400 per month. I went bankrupt as a result of it, and was destroyed financially to such as extent that I was forced to drive my cars on tires that were worn down so bad, that three of them literally exploded (on different occasions) while I was driving at 55 MPH or faster.

I couldn’t afford tires, so I did what anyone in that situation would be forced to do, I drove on them until they exploded. What other choice did I have? None. Due to my “child support” obligation at that time, I couldn’t afford to heat my home in winter where my daughter “visited” me, much less pay for car maintenance.

Additionally, there were times my daughter rode in that same vehicle. Was that in her’s or my own best interests, to have tire blowouts at high rates of speed? Of course not, but neither anyone within Ohio’s CSEA nor the Hamilton County Domestic Relations Court cared in the least.

Would anyone in “the system” had cared if my daughter would have been injured or one or both of us killed when those tires blew? Probably, but only in the sense to blame me for choosing to drive on those tires, and therefore “being a terrible and reckless father” for doing so.

You asked me, “Why?” The fact is, and as sick as it is, it’s because few within the system care about the fathers or the children of the same who are caught up in madness and insanity of “Family Court.” After seven years of enduring the insanity of it all myself, I’ve learned that the best way to manage the associated stress is to accept the system for what it is, and to simultaneously work tirelessly to change it.

In other words, it “is what it is” and accepting that fact is the first step to finding peace within yourself and thereby spreading the same throughout your own household. I understand that may sound ridiculous and very simple-minded, but please trust me when I say that there’s tremendous peace to be found in just accepting the system as the hateful, uncaring, and unjust out-of-control leviathan that it is.

Reason being, carrying around anger, hatred, resentment, bitterness, self-pity, etc harms only yourself and those around you, as well as gives the system even more power over your life.

Is the system wrong and unjust? Absolutely. Does it forever damage our children to such an extent it may in some way affect their psyche for the rest of their lives? I believe that’s a possibility.

But as the parent going through it, the best thing we can do for ourselves and our family (especially our children) is to accept the system for what it is, and to continuously work towards changing it.

Because stressing about it day in and day out, does nothing but increase the stress for you and all of those around you. Not to mention the damage to one’s health that stress causes.

The short answer to your question of “why?” is this; A PROFIT. It’s as simple as that. It pays the State of Ohio immensely, and through “child support” profits, to deem as many fathers as possible as noncustodial parents, and thereby force them to finance the fleecing of their own children.

Reason being, men tend to earn higher wages than do women. And the higher an obligor’s (aka child support payer) wage, the higher the State of Ohio’s profits off of the associated court-ordered “child support” payments.

I took the liberty to forward your story to a national father’s rights organization in the hopes that they’ll at least post a piece to their blog (with your permission) as they have the largest readership (with regards to father’s rights) in the world.

One of their writers (who’s also an attorney and a fantastic writer) expressed an interest to me in speaking with you about your story, so I therefore gave him your name and email address.

Sincerely,

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

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2 Responses to Good and Loving Ohio Father Asks “Why?”

  1. mary parsons says:

    I have a friend who pays chdsupport on 2 children from to different woman. He pays 148 out of the 292 he receives from unemployment. He pays $25 more for the 2nd child a week. At one point montgomery county allowed the mother to take him to court to force him to stop paying his child support so she could receive owf because the father of her other children was not paying his support..odjfs said that was the only way they could help her. When he had his job, he carried health insurance. Csea did a court order for coverage on his first child…then later raised is cs 65.00 for state insur!nce on the 2nd child because the insurance he was already paying for and had been paying for was too much… took 4 months for them to fix it. And credit him for the funds they took. He has never been behind, both mothers hav raised these children on the system, neither ever having/maintaing a job..and will not lower his support payments now that he is unemployed. If he gets a raise, a better paying job not only will the increase the support order they will force him to pay for health care again and 100% of all medical bills not covered by the insurance. I vote that if your court ordered to pay childsupport, the custodial parent shoud be court ordered to keep a job or give the ncp custody of the child. It doesnt make sense for any ncp to work while the cp never maintains a job.

    • Tony Fantetti says:

      Mary,

      Although I understand the point you’re making with this statement, “It doesnt make sense for any ncp to work while the cp never maintains a job, it actually does make sense, and very much so.

      It’s advantageous for the State of Ohio when the custodial parent (CP) doesn’t work as it utlimately increases the State’s profit. How’s that you may be wondereing? The larger the income gap between the CP and noncustodial parent (NCP) the higher the NCPs “child support” obligation as the amount of “child support” is ultimately determined by the wage disparity between both parents.

      Additionally, the NCP is forced to pay back the welfare benefits that the CP collects. The same goes for health insurance benefits; the State of Ohio profits by ordering the NCP to provide health insurance coverage for the children, And if they don’t provide it? The state forces the NCP to pay an additional $65 for medicaid that the children may in fact never benefit from if the CP doesn’t take them in for medical care.

      The end result? The State of Ohio financially profits off of medical coverage too. It was $50.oo in the past, but if it’s $65 as you noted, that’s a 30 percent increase in what it was and another big profit for the state of Ohio when you consider that hundreds of thousands of NCPs are most likely forced to pay that additional $65 a month.

      It’s all about Ohio’s financial profit at the expense of our children, and nothing to do with the “best interests of the children.”