This post is really out of character for me. So much so, that I wasn’t going to post it. However I must, because the root of men’s problems (especially single or divorced father’s) is found in the contemptible treatment of all men by pols, the media, advertising agencies, the courts, some police, many global corporations including Proctor and Gamble (P&G) and countless others. P&G by the way is as anti-father as they come in my opinion.I wrote about them in this piece.
The question we should ask ourselves is not why P&G, Pols, the Media, et al, are so anti-male and anti-father, that’s the smaller problem; the bigger issue in my opinion is why are they so BRAZEN about it? And I believe the answer, not to sound cliche, is that it’s because they can be.
Mozilla Firefox, a web browser, has a built in spell checker. Notice in the screenshot I’ve pasted below. I’ve typed the words “men’s” “misandrist” “misandry” “women’s” “misogynist””misogyny” (in that order) as a test comment to an news article. Notice how “men’s””misandrist” and “misandry”are underlined in red, but “women’s” “misogynist” and “misogyny” are not, why that’s so? It’s because according to the Firefox built in dictionary, “women’s” “misogynist” and “misogyny” are legitimate words. And those three relating to women were added to the dictionary by the Firefox developers as default options, while “men’s” “misandrist” and “misandry” were not.
Am I being petty? Absolutely not, “men’s” “misandrist” and “misandry” are all valid and common words, yet the Firefox developers intentionally chose not to include them in Firefox’s default version of their built in dictionary. Why? I can’t answer that, but it clearly demonstrates that men and misandry are not even an afterthought in the minds of those who created Firefox’s built in dictionary.
Here’s another one for you; Google the phrase “man in handcuffs shot by police” and notice how many hits you get linking to stories about men who were shot by police. If you Google the phrase “woman in handcuffs shot by police”, you find no such occurrences. Instead, there are links to men who were shot by police.
Before I continue, I want to clarify that I am NOT anti-police. And to those policeman (and fathers) whom I know, have spoken to, and have nothing but the utmost respect for, please do not take offense to what I’m writing here. I’m merely illustrating how men and fathers are treated far differently than are women, and in some cases in very inhumane, shocking, and disturbing ways, and no one speaks out to our defense.
Back to my point, Google “police execute man” and some very disturbing, shocking and utterly horrifying videos are found. The most sickening of which is the killing of a mentally ill homeless man named James Boyd who what shot dead for illegally camping without a permit. I must warn you that what follows is a very disturbing so again, watch at your own risk:
I would like to add that after Mr. Boyd was shot in the back, the whistling noises heard in the audio are indicative of one or more bullets penetrating the lungs, and he is therefore having difficulties breathing. When someone’s lungs are bleeding, they can literally drown in their own blood. Additionally, if Mr. Boyd was hit in the spine, we was likely unable to “drop the knife” as he was commanded prior to being shot with a bean bag 12-guage shotgun and having the German Shepherd police dog sicced on him.
Another disturbing video of a man, this time handcuffed, named Daniel Rodrigo Saenz illustrates once again, the deadly violence that will so quickly be perpetrated against a man to such an extent his life is seemingly unjustifiably taken from him, and yet there’s no outcry at a wholesale level, and I ask, “why not?” At about 1:06 into the video below, Mr. Saenz is shot. My understanding is that the reason his body is shaking and convulsing so violently that his shoes are thrown off is because the bullet passed through his heart:
What I don’t want to do is add subjective commentary regarding the killings of Mssers. Boyd and Saenz as I clearly don’t know all of the facts regarding either incident, nor have I investigated the same. That being said, I do my best to always stick to truth and facts when I write. I will however say this; 1. You will never find such a sickening and repulsive video of a woman being killed as these men were, nor should you. 2. If a woman was shot and killed as either Mr. Boyd was or Daniel Rodrigo Saenz were, the Washington DC would be jammed packed with protesters, and rightfully so.
Before I continue, I want to reiterate that I AM NOT anti-police, not by any means whatsoever. I used the deaths of those two men to merely illustrate the lightening speed with which lethal force is used against men in situations where the justifiable use of the same is questionable at best, and murder and execution at worst. The difference between them lies within the minds of those watching the videos. Although I believe is fair to ask; why is it acceptable within the norms of our society, and it so easily and readily accepted as okay and justified, when a man’s life is violently and painfully taken from him under questionable circumstances?
To the title of this post, “The Horrific Costs of the Balkanization and Pimping of Men by Pols and the Media, what does the aforementioned have to do with that? My logic is this; think of women, what do you think of? A crowd of faceless women? Are they White, Black, Hispanic, Asian? Perhaps the answer depends on your own race. Now think of men, and what do you think of? Perhaps the same thing, men of your race. Perhaps you think of men of many races.
Here’s where I’m going to ask you to follow me as I take a leap. Think of news; news stations, news websites etc, and how they report. How do they report? Men are the subject of a lot of the news about people, and in the reporting of them, they are often balkanized by their races as news about them is reported the same way.
Examples are Asian males, Asian gangs, Black males, Black gangs, White males, White gangs, Mexican males, Mexican gangs, crime syndicates and drug cartels, the Mexican, Russian, Chinese and Italian ones. As you read through the various syndicates and drug cartels, what are you likely to think of? Men, and why is that? Women are members of, very active in, and equally violent in the various gangs and cartels I enumerated, and yet few people (media and pols included) associate women with them.
Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year, men are balkanized, degraded in various ways by the media, news organizations, and almost always in commercials. The man or father is ALMOST always portrayed as stupid, inept, incompetent, insignificant, childish and or lazy, and it’s supposed to be funny. I bet if the same were done to women and mothers, people wouldn’t be laughing then. Additionally, it’s mostly done so in negative ways and related to negative connotations. You don’t see the same type of reporting on women. And it’s that hateful denigration of men, that implicitly excuses and justifies the violent deaths of men like Mssers. Boyd and Saenz. People have been desensitized and unconsciously value the lives of women and mothers more than men and fathers. ALL LIFE is valuable.
When you hear of mass tragedy, the figures tallying loss of life and injuries is nearly always stated as “x number of women and children were killed when (fill in the blank.) And often times, the deaths and injuries of men go unreported because the underlying message is that they aren’t as valuable. Now, with that said, the lives of my wife and children are more valuable than is mine in my own eyes. I would lay down my life for theirs. However, I as a person can place the value on my own life. It’s when the media and others place value on the lives of others that it’s wrong.
On the political side of things, Democrats essentially pimp Black and Hispanic males by courting their votes, and in fact expecting them, then doing nothing to better the lives of either class. And Republicans pimp out White males buy using them for their votes, and also expect the votes of certain ones. No politicians however from either party do ANYTHING to further the interests and improve the lives of men, and specifically that of single and divorced noncustodial fathers. In fact it’s too the contrary. All pols cater to that imaginary war on women, and in doing so, degrade and denigrate fathers so as to portray themselves as “valiant defenders of women and women’s rights.” How many times have you heard the term “deadbeat dad.” And what a LIE that is. Yet it’s thrown around like candy on Halloween, and right on front of innocent children.
Studies incontrovertibly show that more WOMEN than men default on “child support” obligations when such is looked at as a percentage. In other words, more men than women pay “child support. But despite that fact, and on a percentage basis, more women than men default on “child support” orders. But what do you hear on the news and read in newspapers and on news websites? “Deadbeat dads.” I’ve never seen nor heard the term “Deadbeat mom.’ The truth is that fathers are beat dead by the system and dead broke because of it.
Do you remember those televised live “deadbeat dad roundups” that the State of Ohio used to have? I put and end to those. I hammered Ohio’s “Child Support” Enforcement (aka extortion) Agency (CSEA)and the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS) with multiple emails to them whereby I cc’d news organizations around the country and blasted the State of Ohio for the psychological damage they were inflicting upon children. And I did so shortly after I formed the organization.
And all I did was point out the obvious, that it was psychologically damaging for a child to see their father on TV, or live in person, being handcuffed by police and taken away. Add to that, the horrendous ridicule those poor innocent children would suffer in school when their classmates made fun of them because their father was arrested on TV. The state even used my own words, taken from the emails that I sent whereby I lambasted them for their actions, and stole my very words and used them as “their” reasons for ending the roundups.
I blogged about it my my original website which is now gone, however I likely still have the post and emails somewhere. I also pointed out that not every father whose behind on child support is behind intentionally. Some lost jobs, got cancer, had heart attacks etc, and I can tell you from experience that Ohio courts generally will NOT lower “child support” obligations under such circumstances. They just incarcerate the father after he’s released form the hospital.
That psychological torment and abuse was inflicted upon Ohio children for ten years before I said enough is enough and did what I explained. And the truly frightening part in that? During the course of an entire decade, not ONE PERSON working for the Ohio CSEA or ODJFS had the intelligence to point out the obvious as I did. And that’s not to pat me on the back, that’s to point out the mindset of the thousands of state employees who worked in those two agencies. And it’s those same types of people that noncustodial parents are forced to deal with, and whom are said to be acting only “in the best interests of the children.”
In closing, and tragically,AAt least one noncustodial father posted a comment to this blog then killed himself. Another dad, driven over the edge by the system, and who suffers the most because of it? His children. The children always pay, and the fathers are always blamed, for everything, and I’m damn sick and tired of it.
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights