Why The System is as it is and Won’t Change…Yet

They’re endless, “about me,” all that matters, and the reason Ohio’s “Family Court” system and the “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA) are as they are.

They truly believe their situation to be unique, the most important of all, and deserving of mine and others immediate attention. They promise everything and in nearly every case deliver nothing. They scream the loudest, believe that they should be heard, and that because they’re situation is “different.”

Who are they? They are predictable, make the same empty promise, are not to be believed in most cases, and contact me daily via emails that have the same two worn-out lines; “what can I do to get involved” and “please help.” The first is an insincere offer that only serves as an introduction to the latter which is the real motive behind their email.

“What can I do to get involved” is  truly a head fake that’s really a false cover for “my case is unique, I’m being abused, and I therefore deserve your undivided attention and unlimited resources, all for free of course. “Please help” is really why they’re contacting those that they are.

Am I being uncaring, cold, and flippant? Nope, only truthful in stating why “the System” is so anti-father, anti-noncustodial parent, and why things don’t change.

If many of those who’ve approached me over the last four years had the attitude of serving others instead of looking to better their own case by using others, things might very well be different today.

Understand that there are millions out there who fire off emails every day to some father’s rights (or the like) organization who seek only to help themselves and not others. That therein is the very problem that allows the present lunacy and contempt for noncustodial parents and their children by “the System” to perpetuate.

Nearly every noncustodial mom and dad has their own visitation and child support horror stories and they’re indeed truly sad. Some are incredibly heartbreaking, while others are downright disturbing and unnerving.

However, even more sad in some cases is the fact that so few are willing to chart their own (and their child’s, especially those with sons) course by getting involved so as to change the course of theirs and their child’s future. Why is that so? Simply because those very same people are those who are desperately needed in a vast mutiny to force the necessary change.

So to those who are always pleading “I need help” I ask, do you, and more importantly, do you really mean that? If you did, you would get involved as that’s the best way to help yourself. Things will continue to be as they are until you decide enough is enough and finally become active in fighting against this.

But so it is and will be; millions will continue to ask for help, while only a few of the same will get actively involved. Worse is that they don’t realize that getting involved is to help both themselves and others, who’ll in turn do the same. When that happens we’ll see great changes for the better, and such will truly be in the best interest of the children.

There’s a new organization currently being formed on a national level that will make a significant difference and will surely be a force to be reckoned with. The domain is in place, the charter is being written, a trademark is in progress, the web site is under construction, and Board members under consideration. Are you interested? I’d like to see a million members join and believe that’s easily attainable given what we’ll be standing for.

To those who’re presently assisting with that, I want to say “thank you!” Especially you “M!” In truth, you’re the first person I’ve met who possesses the same tenacity, fire and compassion as do I!

To those who read what I’ve written and say, “I don’t have time,” I ask, is that so? If you don’t have time to join and get involved, then please don’t complain nor ask others to help you as that makes you a hypocrite. To me at least, because your lack of doing so is precisely why you’re in the very position that you find yourself in as you expect others to help you? Who are you helping?

Additionally, there are those working in excess of 70 and 80 hours a week who are assisting and getting involved, so I ask you this, “do you really think that they ‘have the time?’” They have full-time jobs, children to tend to, court hearings etc etc and yet they choose to get involved because they don’t want to pass this ugliness on to their own children.

Think about it; the “child support” and Family Court juggernaut has moved forward unfettered for decades. It continues to leave in its a wake, a huge path of destruction that has decimated the lives of so many innocent and precious children who don’t have a voice in this. Their lives have been very hatefully and contemptuously waylaid in a very wanton and disgusting manner by the very system that purports to only be acting “in their best interests.” No, not true; that system only acts out of its own best financial interest which is only attainable at the expense of the children’s best interests as the two are mutually exclusive.

I believe that it’s every parent’s (especially noncustodial parents) responsibility to be an advocate for their children and thereby be one of those voices that’s working to change this very broken system as that same system is acting against the children.

Don’t believe me? How does incarcerating a child’s father for failing to pay child support after he lost his job through no fault of his own in the worst economy since the Great Depression help the child? How does suspending the same fathers drivers license so he can’t drive and “visit” his child help the child? How does suspending his professional license so he can’t go out and find a new job to start paying his “child support” help the child? Now tell me it’s all only “in the best interests of the children.”

That system operates as it does today because of those who think to themselves, “I don’t have time to assist, I don’t know how to assist,” or “others will assist so I don’t need to assist.” That thinking (all of it) couldn’t be further from the truth, and changing it begins with a simple yet very sincere, “how can “I” help?”

I do recognize that there are yet others who due to emotional and or mental problems can’t assist and that’s okay. But for those who say they’re “too stressed,” please trust me when I say you’ll truly find great relief, peace, and satisfaction in the helping of others, especially those who can’t help themselves.

Finally, donations are needed now to assist with web hosting fees and domain name purchases. Therefore, if you’re willing to assist on behalf of yourself, your children and or others, please contact me at the email below and advise as to how your willing to do so, and be that with your time, skills, financially,  all three, or “how can I help?”

Remember, change in this area is not going to come willingly by the State of Ohio, as there’s too much money (through their “child support” profits) involved for them to willingly change. Especially, in this economy. The State of Ohio has a budget too, and it doesn’t look good either.

Therefore, the hundreds of millions of dollars Ohio earns annually through statewide “child support” collections is not a sum of money that the State is going to willingly give up. Kim Newsom-Bridges and the legally sanctioned “rings of thievery” (as I refer to them, they aren’t so legally, but are so in spirit in my humble opinion) that are otherwise known as the Ohio “Child Support” Directors Association and the National “Child Support” Enforcement Association, will fight tooth and nail to keep earning their “child support” profit off not only the backs of broken families, but most importantly, off the backs of the innocent and precious children of those same families. You know them,  they’re those whom said agencies claim to only be “acting in the best interests of;” they are your beloved children.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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Homeless “Child-Support” Paying Ohio Police Officers Sleeping in Cars and Basements

I’ve heard countless stories over the years. Some were so shocking in nature that not only was I truly disturbed by them, they actually changed me. Truth be told, I’ve learned to harden my emotions as a result. Not from an empathetic perspective, but from that of a self-preservation point of view whereby I think less about what I know.

To elaborate, I’m the type of person who hyper-analyzes things. So if I didn’t force myself to forget things at times, I’d never sleep as my mind would race incessantly as I laid in bed at night pondering the “what type of person” and “who could do such a thing” type of questions.

That said, just when I think I’ve got a firm grasp on just how hateful and out-of-control the ODJFS and their financial strong-arm otherwise known as the “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA) as well as Ohio’s “Family Courts” are, someone else tells me their story. As a result, yet another layer in the depth of ugliness as it pertains to “the Family Law system” in Ohio is laid bare and thereby made painfully real to me. And I do mean painfully because this arouses such a fierce indignation in me that I’m incensed beyond what words can describe.

To convey what I’m trying to otherwise, consider this analogy. It’s like peeling an onion, only backwards. Where you layer instead of peel, but you don’t know you’re doing it until you find that next layer. Instead of getting to the core as you would when you peel, you find that you’re “peeling outward” or layering as the onion is getting bigger rather than smaller. Now apply that thinking to determining the depth of inhumanity and ugliness that’s carried out as Ohio’s CSEAs execute their functions to earn their profit on “child support” collections. In short, it’s without bounds.

I had a conversation with an Ohio Police Officer over the weekend that in truth made me so angry, that I wanted to scream out of my anger and frustration over what he was telling me. As stated earlier, I’ve heard a lot over the years, but when one considers that policemen (and by that I include policewomen) lay their lives on the line every day so that we and our children may live safely, a whole new dimension of heartless inhumanity, one that’s completely abhorrent to reason, is brought to light as it pertains to the ODJFS’ CSEAs.

Picture someone who’s homeless and sleeping in their car or in the basement of a building and that’s truly a sad thing to contemplate. Now picture that someone being a Police Officer sleeping in his car, or in the basement of a Police Station because after his “child support” is deducted from his salary that he earns by risking his life every minute of every day that he works, he has no money to pay rent. He’s been made homeless after losing everything (including most importantly unfettered access to his children) after Ohio’s CSEA order him to pay “child support.” Now, you shouldn’t just be angry after learning of that, you should be incensed beyond consolation, because that’s exactly the type of story that officer related to me during our conversation.

When it comes to the insanity of living through the first few years of dealing with Ohio’s “child support”and Domestic and/or Juvenile Relations Courts as a “child-support” paying non-custodial father in Ohio, the words demented, lunacy, insanity and hell only begin to describe the madness of the world you live in. That, as your dignity, your God-given right to be a father to your children, nearly all of your possessions and a very large portion of your net pay are all stripped from you. And for what??? what “crime” did you commit that you are so deserving of such hateful treatment that many jail inmates actually end up having more than you?

It’s simple. You made the brave decision to become a father, and in the America we live in today, becoming a single father (even through no choice nor fault of your own) doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated like a criminal, because you won’t, you’ll be treated far worse than any criminal in the Criminal Justice System and here’s why; they have rights, whereas you as a single or divorced dad do not!

Knowing how my thinking and mindset were turned inside-out and upside-down when I was first introduced to “the system” following my divorce, and considering what it took me just to get out of bed each day and merely put one foot before the other, I can’t even begin to fathom how much worse, exponentially worse, it must be for a Police Officer to have to perform their job with the full weight of Ohio’s “Family” Courts and the “Child Support” Extortion (aka Enforcement) Agency hell bearing down on their lives daily.

Add to that, a Police Officer who has no home and can’t afford to pay any rent because he doesn’t have enough money left from his own paycheck to pay rent after his “child support” deduction is taken out. He therefore must sleep in his car, or in his friends basement or the basement of the station because he has no place to call home. Understand that he can’t just work more hours to get ahead, that doesn’t work, and here’s why; “the more you make, the more they take.”

So if he puts in an additional 20-30 hours in overtime, they’ll raise his child support so much, that his net pay wouldn’t be much different than it was before. So what’s the point of risking ones life so much more to net only a minute amount of additional money each week? There is none. Even worse, if his hours get cut because the City he works for wants to save money, it’s most likely that the courts won’t lower his “child support” order after those overtime hours dry up. The court or CSEA would then declare him to be “voluntarily underemployed” and therefore order him to keep paying the higher “child support” amount.

As if being forced to play “Family Court” and then going to work and pretending to be normal wasn’t bad enough, imagine sleeping in your car all night, driving to the Police Station to shower and dress, and then going out and dealing with dangerous criminals and thugs for the next 8-15 hours. Even worse, and while all that weight bears on your mind from being homeless, not being able to see your precious children and having to deal with the harassment of your ex who’s using the Courts and the CSEA as her war hammer, imagine having to deal with some psychotic meth or crackhead who’s threatening your life with a gun, and where one mistake could cost you your life.

Now, that officer’s children whom the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services collection agent, the CSEAs claim to acting in “the best interest of” in bankrupting that policeman through his “child support” order, would be fatherless. Would the CSEA or Court care if that happened? Of course not.

Well, allow me to take that back, as the CSEA would care in the sense that it would affect their bottom line as they could no longer profit off of his “child support” payments through their Title IV D Federal Incentive Match. Please know that as sick and disgusting as that sounds and is, I do not take lightly what I’m saying, nor am I making light of such a serious scenario. To the contrary, I’m trying to illustrate just how sick Ohio’s “child support” system is and mean what I’ve said.

The officer also told me of how the Court was harassing him about his work schedule that he obviously had no control over. He was lectured about how he was expected to be on-time for “visitation” and that he needed to have a more flexible work schedule. Who has heard of anything more stupid than telling a police officer that they must have a “flexible work schedule?” Huh? So does one infer from such a stupid statement that he would be expected to walk away from a crime scene, or stop pursuing a felony suspect because he had to leave for “visitation?” What if he’s in the middle of arresting a suspect, and has only one handcuff on and “quitting time” arrives. Does, he remove the one handcuff and turn the criminal loose as he says to them, “maybe next time, but for now, it’s quittin time because the Court said so!”

Understand that I’m not being sarcastic or facetious in writing that. Rather, I’m using that paradox to expose a critically important truth as it demonstrates just how out-of-touch as well as how culpable the Courts are, not only in their failure to address the anti-father bias in Ohio’s Domestic Relations Courts, but also in contributing to it. That in and of itself clearly demonstrates just how far from reality as well as how deep into oblivion the Courts have descended in their inability to address the needs of single and divorcing Ohio fathers. How, in a sane world, can a judicial official make such a ridiculous statement to a father who’s a police officer?

That aside, I wonder if those same stupid statements would still apply if that officer were in the midst of protecting that judge or one of his family? I highly doubt it.

I’m not sure I can think of anything lower than a society that couldn’t care less about our brave policemen and women, who as a direct result of being extorted out of exorbitant amounts of “child support,” are left homeless, must sleep in the basement of a district police station, have to take buses or taxis to work (because they can’t afford a car) and who are so close to losing it, that they’re told by their superiors that they must “get help” or face losing their jobs. But what I can think of is the reason why, which is, “for the love of money is the root of all evil.”

I can’t say what city this officer is from, but I know that more and more of his colleagues will be coming to this Blog and there’s much I have to say to all of you. First and foremost, thank you for laying your lives on the line each day to keep us and our children safe.

Next, please know that I have been where some of you are, and where others will unfortunately be. I know that sick and disgusting feeling that can overcome you at the mere thought of having to get out of bed each day, and after Ohio’s CSEAs and “Family” Courts have destroyed your life, your finances, and most of all wrecked your relationship with your children whom are also innocent victims in a very ugly game that’s “for profit.’

Please know that you are not alone, are not going crazy, don’t deserve all that’s been heaped upon you and that there are those (including myself) who do care. I myself, and after a few years of “the system” met with a National Guard Recruiter and was going to enlist and go to Iraq for “death by war,” because I’d been driven over the edge by all that I encountered. The night before I was to go to Columbus to sign the papers, I called my recruiter to advise him I’d changed my mind and explained that, “I have a five year old girl who needs her daddy.”

I too have sat alone in the dark, crying and praying for death because I wouldn’t take my own life. I regularly cursed God and shook my fists at him in defiance and that’s okay.

Never forget that your children need you and love you. No matter how bad things are, nor how bad things get, there is an end to the madness. And please, trust me when I say I know what it feels like to see that light at the end of the tunnel only to realize it’s yet another train coming at you head on, and that at the point of impact, will deliver yet another huge payload of destruction that will once again shake the foundation of your world, and everything you thought you once believed in. And to such an extent that you don’t even know who you are anymore.

As the Officer I spoke to explained to me, “our wives and girlfriends get upset because we can’t talk about or jobs with them. It’s not that we don’t want to, we just can’t because they wouldn’t understand. You’d have to experience it, be a police officer, to understand it.” Well, so it is with the House-of-Horrors that’s otherwise known as Ohio’s CSEAs and Family Courts. Others have to experience that hell for themselves to understand it or even believe in it. I have, and I do.

Please know that there are plans in the works to form another organization on a national level that will deal with these atrocities that have been, and are inflicted upon non-custodial mothers and fathers alike. It’s in that organization that I believe we’ll make great strides in tearing down this very hateful system that proudly profits off of the backs of broken families and the innocent children thereof. We have to be successful, because we CAN’T pass this very broken system onto our own children. That’s especially true for those of you with sons. Can you imagine your own son having to experience what you do when he’s an adult with children of his own?

In support of said organization, another website will be coming online that will explain more in greater detail. In the meantime, I’d like to get to know as many of you as possible. Although my contact number is no longer public, I’ve instructed the officer I spoke with to freely give it to all of you.

That said, if you ever find yourself “there” and thinking thoughts you shouldn’t be thinking, please call me any time, day or night. Thank you for doing what you do and PLEASE stay safe out there, you’re children love you, need you, and miss you.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Miscellaneous, Suicide | 7 Comments

Ohio Child Support Lawsuit: ODJFS Accused of Knowingly Over Collecting in Class Action Complaint

The lawsuit below was filed by Matt Dunlop of Ohio.

Ohio’s “child support” system is indeed in disrepute when the State of Ohio not only profits off of broken families, but in fact publicly rejoices in doing so while also simultaneously demonizing good and loving noncustodial (NC) fathers and mothers in the process. Understand that such demonizing is required so the State of Ohio can keep their profiteering hidden from public view.

Said profits to this day continue to be earned by the State, and out of nothing more than the Ohio Department of Jobs and ‘Family Servcies’ (ODFJS) promoting Ohio’s best financial interests above and beyond the genuine best interests of Ohio’s precious children. Even more deplorable and despicable than that, is that such can only be attained at the emotional expense of Ohio’s entirely innocent and very vulnerable children as both interests are mutually exclusive.

When I first learned that Dunlop v ODJFS (L0290829)was in the making and that the Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services was to be named as a Defendant, I was far beyond elated. In all truthfulness, my mood immediately elevated as my mind shifted to that of dreamlike state where I was basking in nirvana.

Admittedly, I can be quite lively in my depictions of things at times. But make no mistake, after I learned of the nature of the Complaint, I truly felt as I’ve described.

Even more fulfilling, is seeing “DOES 1 through 300, inclusive, Defendants” listed under ODJFS in the above-referenced complaint, and I eagerly anticipate seeing Kimberly Newsom-Bridges name occupying one of those DOES slots.

Ms. Newsom-Bridges is in my own humble and untrained legal opinion one of the ringleaders in what I refer to as Ohio’s “Legalized Ring of Thievery” that’s otherwise euphemistically known as Ohio’s “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA).

Personally, I prefer to use the acronym Ohio CSEA to described what it really means, as well as what they truly stand for, and that’s the Ohio Child Support Extortion Agency. Rest assured that they will forcefully, and under a very dark color of law, shakedown anyone that they can get their filthy, greedy, “88-county hands” on. Included in said extortion are those innocent victims of paternity fraud whereby it’s proven in Court that said fathers cannot possibly be the parent of the children that they’re ordered to pay “child support” for.

And the CSEA couldn’t care less about the truth in that matter, as they care only about the profit they extract from those “fathers” who are extorted by the Ohio CSEA under the constant threat of arrest, incarceration, liens, bank account/security accounts and asset seizures for “support” for children that aren’t theirs. Don’t forget now, that Ohio’s CSEAs claim that their actions are “in the best interests of the children?” Really??? Just how is seizing the money of someone who’s known to NOT be the father “in the best interest of the children?” Please, do tell? Perhaps I’ll email Ms. Kimberly Newsom-Bridges, Director of the OCDA, President of the NCSEA and ask her?

Back to my state of mind when I was informed of the impending suit, and to continue from where I left off above; I was enamored with a blissful sense of justice for the first time in about seven years when I first learned of MPP’s intent to file the complaint. Those seven years have been a very long and horrific span of time that began after Ohio’s “Child Support” House-of-Horrors opened its doors and forced me in so as to partake in their ongoing freak-show. Said inclusion was effected via the strong arm of the Domestic Relations Court whereby to this day it extracts my continual albeit unwilling participation. You must understand that you can’t just “quit playing,” as to quit, eventually ends in incarceration for those who no longer want to play.

I will forever and very vividly remember the heightened and overwhelming sense of positive emotions I was feeling while participating in discussions and learning for the first time that the complaint was to be filed. I can only begin to describe it from the perspective of one who’s been given another chance at life after having experienced years of very exacting (both emotionally and financially) and monumental continual failures that were not caused by their own actions, but by those associated with, “the system” and with unjust blame for such being placed squarely at the innocent’s feet.

More specifically, failures such as a painful and forced separation from one’s children, bankruptcy, loss of driver’s license, homelessness, loss of employment, ruined credit, being unemployable. Those and other ills that were waylaid upon good and loving fathers (and noncustodial mothers) by Ohio’s “child support” system. Such is done by those who are tasked with the destructive duties of destroying the lives of noncustodial parents (NCPs) in their abusive efforts to bleed those loving parents dry in their efforts to “get blood from a turnip.”

Next, you were wrongfully and very publicly humiliated as a “deadbeat dad” on TV, billboards, pizza boxes and via other very public means, after the State of Ohio and her many CSEA minions destroyed your life, and in turn the lives of your innocent children. That, because those now very confused and frightened little Ohio children had their entire lives and worlds very hatefully and inhumanely turned upside-down as a direct result of those contemptuously willful CSEA and ODJFS actions. Just picture little toddlers pointing at the TV and screaming hysterically, “MOMMY WHY ARE THEY TAKING DADDY AWAY???” as they watched in horror as said terrifying pandemonium played out right before their eyes in the swirl of flashing red and blue lights on the TV in front of them.

That was done so the State of Ohio can “profit” off of the backs of Ohio’s precious and innocent children by using them to shakedown their NCPs and in many cases bankrupting them. That allows Ohio to maximize its “share” of the Federal Government’s Title IV-D Section 451 Federal Incentive Match that we as taxpayers fund through our Social Security payroll tax, and as described in Title IV Part D Section 451 of the Social Security Act.

So what about this civil action lead to my immediate escape into a Utopian dreamworld after I learned of it? It’s simple; justice. This case is proof positive of what I’ve been saying for years, and that being, “Ohio’s increasingly abusive and punitive “child-support” collections efforts have nothing to do with the old worn-out (only in the sense that the the State of Ohio uses it and what they mean by it) phrase, “it’s in the best interests of the children.”

Ohio and her 88 county collection’s agents otherwise known as the “Child Support” Enforcement Agency care nothing about the children they purport to “collect on behalf of” and instead have used those very same children for decades to demonize alleged “deadbeat dads” and thereby distract the public from the following very inconvenient truth;Ohio has “earned” hundreds of millions in dollars in “profits” off of “child support” collections over the years. In truth, I suspect that number is closer to one billion dollars.

The motive behind their decades-long and increasingly hateful and abusive campaign whereby they’ve wrongfully maligned (and ruined) many innocent good and loving noncustodial mothers and fathers, can be easily exposed with Ohio’s own statutes as read here where they state in part in ORC 3119.07:

“(A) Except when the parents have split parental rights and responsibilities, a parent’s child support obligation for a child for whom the parent is the residential parent and legal custodian shall be presumed to be spent on that childand shall not become part of a child support order, and a parent’s child support obligation for a child for whom the parent is not the residential parent and legal custodian shall become part of a child support order.”

Please allow me to elaborate on two things in that statute. First, the word “shall” in a legal sense means “you must,” and it’s important to comprehend what that really means.
For example, the Judges and Magistrates of the Courts as well as all CSEA personnel must assume that every dollar of every “child support” payment made to the custodial parent (CP) is in fact spent on the children of that order.

Said otherwise, and from a legal perspective (and not from one of reality), there is no legal mechanism to think otherwise and therefore said statement is accepted as an incontrovertible fact. Additionally, it would still be so even if the custodial parent were to stand up in open court and declare under oath, “I don’t spend a dime of that money on my children!”

So with all of the aforementioned persons/institutions being instructed by Ohio statute to “think a certain way”, simple logic and reality dictate otherwise; the fact that in most cases, “child support” dollars are NOT spent on the children of that order and are in fact spent by the custodial parent to support their own lifestyle.

And please, don’t comment here and say, “but they have to pay rent or a mortgage, provide clothing for the child, food, pay auto insurance etc etc etc” because so does the noncustodial “child-support” paying parent (aka the Obligor of an order) who in addition to what’s enumerated, must also provide health insurance that is some cases in nearly $1,000/month or more.

I personally have seen many “Child Support Moms” swipe their Ohio e-Quickpay “child support” debit card at the checkout line to purchase beer, cigarettes, liquor, and a host of other items that one could reasonably assume aren’t for a child. Not only that, those same debit cards can be used in bars, restaurants, casinos, strip clubs, to book travel, airfare and anywhere MasterCard is accepted.

Next, I read a study a couple of years ago that I unfortunately can’t locate that was undertaken by a third-party without any outward biases. Said study overwhelmingly concluded that no more than 30-35% (and that was considered a generous number) of “child support” payments were in fact spent on the children of the order. The rest of the money was spent to support the CP’s lifestyle.

Also, factor in that there are many known and documented cases where the children of a “child support” order are living with the noncustodial father, and that, while he makes “child support” payments to the custodial mother. Remember, ODJFS clamors that this is “in the best interest of the children.” Really? How?

The point I’m leading up to is this; how can the State of Ohio, ODJFS or Ohio’s CSEAs even begin to claim that they’re acting “in the best interests of the children” in effecting their abusive “child support” collection methods whereby they bankrupt, humiliate and incarcerate good and loving noncustodial mothers and fathers, when in fact they have no idea whatsoever where, or on whom, those “child support” dollars are spent?

Remember, they’re instructed by statute to take the position that the monies (all of it) are in fact spent on the children of the order, when in truth not only do they not know, they don’t even care! All ODJFS cares about is collecting as much money as possible (annually, since the match is based on annual collections) given that the amount of their Federal Incentive Match is directly proportional to their annual statewide “child support” collections. Now do you understand why Ohio regularly over-collects as well as collects from some who don’t even owe?

Moreover, not only does statute “tell them how to think” in regard to money spent, Ohio’s “child support” statutes have no provision whatsoever that even allows the Courts or CSEAs to demand to know where the monies are being spent.Said otherwise, no one save for God and the custodial parentknows, or for that matter is allowed to know, where those “child support” dollars are spent.

Using simple logic, and given that Ohio’s CSEAs claim to only be acting “in the best interest of the children” in their abusive and draconian collections efforts that lead to the filing of the lawsuit, how can they possibly be making such a claim without even knowing where those billions of dollars they’re collecting are being spent?

I’ll answer that; they can’t, they know they can’t, and most importantly they don’t care that they can’t, because they have only one goal and one alone: Maximize Ohio’s annual statewide “child support” collections, and at any cost. That, only so they in turn can maximize Ohio’s share of the Federal Government’s annual Federal Incentive match that’s described in the link above to Title IV Part D Section 451 of the Social Security Act.

If you doubt the claims I’ve made with regard to the reasons regarding how abusive Ohio’s CSEAs have been and continue to be, and you are therefore suspect of me, then ask yourself this; did you even know that the State of Ohio “earns” a profit off of each and every “child support” payment that’s made in Ohio? If not, then why not?

Additionally, the reason I almost always put quotes around the words “child support” is because I do live in a reality where I recognize that a LOT of custodial parents are making a lot of money via “child support” off the backs of their own precious children and not spending even a dime of it on those same children whose very lives have been destroyed by it. That said, I refuse to call “child support” what it’s not-“support for the children.”


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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Protecting and Provisioning for Children as the End of “The Age of America” Dawns

Despite having been aware of the possibility (for quite some time) of “The Age of America” coming to an end, I’m still somewhat surprised to see this being reported by the media. Additionally, and since I saved this post to a draft days ago, other stories foretelling the same, have come out as well.

I generally refrain from discussing politics (as both Republicans and Democrats with respect to their policy are both very anti-father); nonetheless, I felt that what’s discussed in the aforementioned link is worth discussing here.

First, and to you naysayers and those with their heads in the sand, I say “good luck, because I believe at this point that you’re really going to need it.” That aside, there’s a much bigger issue at stake that’s exponentially more important; that being, how will this affect the children of “fatherless” families. More specifically, families where the father has been kicked out of the children’s lives by their “single mom by choice”  mothers utilizing their strong-arm tactics otherwise known as the “Family Courts.”

It’s no secret that more and more people are living in RV parks, are homeless and even living in shanty towns similar to those erected during the Great Depression. So when the US economy crashes as a result of the US Dollar being replaced as the world’s reserve currency (some put this even five years out, but I believe we’ll possibly experience this in 2012 or 2013 at the latest), the fallout from said scenario will be very swift, and very ugly. In short I suspect that there will be complete pandemonium and to a lesser extent anarchy as a direct result. That, at least until the IMF steps in to “stabilize” the situation.

After that occurs, we’ll be left with rebuilding what once was, but perhaps to a lesser degree as a country as a whole. Said otherwise, I doubt (at least in my lifetime) that America will ever be again what it once was. Admittedly, I’m not an Economist, but I at one time was a very active (and quite successful) investor. To such an extent that if I still had the assets I once did, I’m certain that I would’ve made a considerable amount of money since this “recession” began and would thereby be looking forward to retirement, but on account of the reality of what’s described herein.

That said, it’s my humble opinion that after America’s credit rating is downgraded (our debt already has been) and the dollar loses its status as the world’s reserve currency, we’ll experience various degrees of anarchy that I believe will be driven in part by a lack of food and basic necessities. And that, is where the protection and provisioning of a father will surely be missed, and to a greater extent desired by the children of the so many mothers who in many cases and for self-serving and utterly selfish reasons only, unilaterally decided that “their” children would grow up without a loving father who’d otherwise have been actively (and with unfettered access) engaged in their lives.

In a sense, but not without true regret and a heartfelt regard for how terrible things may end up getting for the children involved, I suspect that many fathers would welcome such a scenario, albeit with a highly ambivalent sense of deliverance. One that’s driven by an insatiable desire for justice, and that for the many wrongs and injustices that for years have been committed against them by those “mothers” who while wielding their “Family Court” war-hammers, forcefully ejected said fathers out of their children’s lives.

To get more to my point, when and if there are gangs of unchallenged and out-of-control street-roving thugs who through threats and acts of violence take what’s not theirs, and when and if food is in short supply, who’ll be there to protect and provide for the children?

Is mom going to do it? This is not a question of desire, as I believe that 99.9% of moms would sacrifice their lives (as would dads) in a heartbeat for their children.  But rather, this is a question of “can” they protect and provide for their children as could a father in such a scenario? My answer to that question is a very emphatic “NO!”

Do I state such because I’m a misogynist? Absolutely not; I speak that for what it is, and despite what were told by the media and father-hating feminists. It’s so simply because it’s because of how God wired us as the polar opposites that we are, and it’s therefore and incontrovertible fact in my humble opinion.

Men/fathers by design can kill, protect and provide in ways that most women can’t and would find repulsive, and save for those ladies who’re the exceptions to that rule, most men discharge said duties more effectively and efficiently than do most women. Do I also recognize that women/moms contribute equally unique skills and abilities and discharge those attributes to much better degree than do men/fathers? Of course I do.

I saw a very interesting study within the last year that delved into how men and women respond to an immediate physical threat. I wish I had it to link to, but was only able to find what appeared to be the feminist driven crap that says they, “respond the same” or “women respond better.” That aside, said study looked at how men and women responded to a situation whereby there’s an immediate threat of physical harm.

I believe the study indicated that the female response geared more towards exiting the situation as quickly as possible and thereby escaping the threat, while the male response was to the contrary, and was geared towards him immediately assessing the situation to determine how fast he should neutralize the threat. Both of course are very reasonable and equally valid responses, albeit they’re obviously very different in nature. In such a scenario, I’d say that most men can successfully effect either response. However, most women could not, as they simply do not possess the required necessary physical attributes to neutralize a threat should the situation require that it be done through physical strength alone.

Taking that a step further, and I suspect that criminal convictions and present jail populations would confirm this; a man is more likely to discharge deadly force than is a woman. Be that his reasons were justified or not is moot, as the fact remains that a man will kill much quicker, more often and in various situations than will a woman. Don’t believe me without statistics to back that up? Then just ask any feminist or the head of any Domestic Violence organization as they’ll satiate you with how “evil, hateful and equally dangerous “all” men are.”

In closing, and if the end of “The Age of America” indeed comes upon us in the manner I’ve described herein. And if mass anarchy in fact comes to life whereby protection and provisioning will only come to those who are willing and able to physically seize it; then please tell me who, and with so many court-ordered absent fathers in this country, will be there to defend and provide for the children if indeed the dawn of the end of “The Age of America” cracks in utter anarchy?


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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Received Via Email from an Ohio Mother in Defense of Her Incarcerated Son

Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2011 07:58:23 -0400 [04/21/2011 04:58:23 AM PDT]
From: Cathy Xxxxxx <XXXXXXXX@zoomtown.com>
To: tony fantetti
Subject: please help

Hi Tony,
I am writing to you for my son, he doesn’t know that I’m doing this but we
all need some help. First a little background:

My son went to prison for possession of cocaine, while in prison we found
out that he had a son by a woman he dated. He had to pay back child support
for quite a few months that he was in prison, while we’re not happy about
that portion, we do believe in paying support.

My grandson mother was pregnant with another child when we found out that we
had a grandson. My grandsons brother was in foster care due to the mothers
heroine addiction, neglect and abuse, when my grandson was born he also went
into foster care. My grandson was almost a year old when we found out that
he was our grandson. We started visiting with our grandson every chance we
could. A few months after finding out we had a grandson, children’s
protective service was ready to integrate him back into his mother’s home.
She informed me that she didn’t think she could care for a newborn and 2
young boys, we offered for him to come and live with us until she was ready.
We went to court and the court was informed that my grandson would be living
with us, we thought everything was fine. During the following 6 months the
mother would visit irregularly and when she did take him for a weekend, she
would bring him back with very bad diaper rash, once with bruises and
scratches on his upper arms (as if someone had grabbed both his arms). I
started talking with the foster parent and the great grandfather of his
older brother and heard horrendous stories. Eight months after my grandson
coming to live with us, his mother brought him home with diaper rash so bad
that he was bleeding. The anger I had cannot be described, I called her and
told her that she couldn’t see him any more, I know I shouldn’t have because
we did not have custody, I was angry and not thinking. I took him to the
hospital and it was confirmed that he had severe diaper rash, the mother
came to the hospital with police in tow and took my grandson. My son was
still in prison.

She took my grandson in August, my husband and I filed for visitation. We
were granted visitation in October 2007, we were able to visit on the 1st
and 3rd weekends of the month. My son was released from prison January 2008.
In the timeframe between August and October, the mother charged me with
stalking and tried to get a protection order against me, it was dismissed
because she didn’t show up for court.

Present day: My son has had to file for visitation. He didn’t file before
because he take our grandson for one overnight on the weekends that we had
him. I’m am in the process of a criminal charge, at first I was charged with
Child Endangerment because I disciplined my grandson while he was visiting
with us, the Child Endangerment charges were dismissed. I am now being
charged with Assault and have a protection order against me. The mother
tried in October 2010 to take away our visitation but it was denied, no
modifications were made to our visitation. She is now trying again to take
away our visitation. We paid the fee for our son to file for visitation, we
know that if he is granted visitation it will take away ours but we know
that he will let us visit with him. We also paid the fee to get our
grandsons surname changed to that of his fathers. He had to get the case
continued to get a lawyer because even though my son was willing to have a
hyphenated surname with his name, then her maiden name, she would not agree
to that. She wants it to be her married surname and then my sons surname, of
course he doesn’t want that.

Even though our visitation is still in effect and I have stated that I will
not be present, the mother has refused my husband picking our grandson up
for visitation. We have filed contempt charges per the court judges advice.
She is stating all kinds of false allegations and is stating that our
grandson is terrified to come to our house, that my son is not his father,
that he is just the sperm donor, etc.

My son is currently unemployed and we cannot keep paying his lawyer fees
along with ours and he really needs legal help. Is there someone you can
recommend that will act for him in the Name Change case that will do this
pro bono??

We live in Ohio, my grandson is 5 years old now, they were never married. I
don’t know what other information you need in order to help us but am
willing to provide any that you need.

Thank you,



I’m sorry to say once again that I’ve been unsuccessful in my efforts (for reasons described in part in the previous post) to locate any pro bono attorneys. There are those who are lucky enough to find one, but I suspect that they’re few and far between.

That said, and given the mother of your grandson’s propensity to to stir legal trouble up by making allegations against you, if I were in your position, I’d keep a digital recorder with me at all times when I’m dealing with her. And that applies to recording telephone conversations with her in accordance with State law.

As far as the name change issue, I believe she’ll have to go through Probate Court for that as she (to my knowledge) just can’t change your grandson’s name from what’s on his birth certificate. If you were told otherwise by an attorney, please advise.

Rest assured that your grandson’s mother will not change in her behavior, and I mean that in more ways than one. More specifically, and given she was addicted to heroine, I believe her chances of a relapse are strong.

Once an addict always an addict (absent certain faith in my humble opinion), but the decision to stay clean can be forever, if it’s made one day at a time. What I’m driving at is twofold; the first being, help and encourage (without criticism but using “tough love”) your son to stay sober if he is not.

If you get word that his ex is using again, an anonymous complaint can be made against her with “‘Child Protective’ Services”(CPS). However, be aware that if in fact they find her to be using and they once again take your grandson into State Custody, your son needs to be prepared to file a motion for Change of Custody either by obtaining counsel (which it sounds like none of you can afford) or doing so pro se. Especially if she’s in jail. Reason being, CPS most likely will not make any attempt to place your grandson in your son’s custody should the aforementioned occur. This is because CPS is as anti-father as are the courts, but they too, and just like the CSEAs realize that there’s a financial profit to be “earned” by separating fathers from their children.

That’s due in part to the fact that the State of Ohio also financially profits by breaking up families and placing children in foster care. They in turn can force the biological parents (but usually the father) to pay “child support” to the State, in order to reimburse it for the monies they pay to the foster parents. Additionally, the State of Ohio profits off of those “child support” payments that are made.

Said corruption runs deep within the State of Ohio and partially explains how that precious child Marcus Fiesel was placed into the “care of” and subsequently murdered by such heinous monsters that were said to be his “foster parents.” Please know that such is not directed at the many good and loving foster parents out there.

Why not wait until she motions the proper court for the name change and involve yourself with that matter (and retain counsel then assuming you have the funds) instead of initiating an action on your own?

If at some point down the road your grandson is once again taken into State Custody and the State is refusing to place him in your son’s custody assuming he is in fact clean, please contact me.

Finally, instead of paying an attorney to have her held in contempt (whereby she’ll likely be found not guilty or slapped on the wrist at best) why not divert those funds to fighting her against the name change?


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council  for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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Received Via Email from a Hamilton County Father

Date: Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:17:03 -0400 [03:17:03 PM PDT]
From: Txxxx Xxxxxxx <xxxxxx@gmail.com>
To: ‘Tony Fantetti’ <tony.fantetti@ocffr.org>
Subject: RE: Ohio Council for Fathers Rights website

Hi Tony,

Thanks for providing this informative site, organization, and your blog.I’m researching a possible appeal for a custody trial in Hamilton County that seemed mine to lose. xxxxxx xxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxx xxxxx, however I received a phone call this afternoon from my oldest son (xx) who was in tears and inconsolable, as his mother told him he and his brother and sister would be staying with her, and they would be seeing much less of me.

Of course, xxxx xxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxx, but if what my son told me is accurate, I am shocked. I had lies thrown at me during and before trial, unproven accusations of relations with a minor leveled at me by the mother and a neighbor of her’s (who’s sexual advances I rebuffed, hence her lies and accusations), and backed by no proof whatsoever other than allegation and misinterpreted email.

Meanwhile, the custody investigation came down strongly in my favor saying we should form a shared parenting plan; the kids should spend the majority of the time with me, and attend the local public school in my neighborhood. She accused me of doing drugs and she, herself was found to have drugs in her drug screen (and even admitted to the custody investigator she had done them – I tested clean), and had attempted to bring a strange man into the home one morning at 8am immediately after I dropped my daughter off, both very intoxicated and bringing in more alcohol – and a photograph of her attempting to bring the man into the home was presented as evidence.

Again, xxxx xxxxx xxxx xxx the mother was requesting
full custody, and I presented a shared parenting plan that reflected the suggestions of the court appointed custody investigator. What worries me is that my son told me ‘mom said we would be staying with her and won’t see you as much’…  I wonder, if what my son says is accurate, is this typical behavior of ‘family court’ judges to apparently disregard the recommendations of their very own court employees?  I’m sure the fact that the ex is an ‘artist’ and makes very little money has a great deal to do with a ruling that will keep me and my money wrapped up in the child support

The magistrate (Newberry) we have seems to be fair – even lowering my initial support payments that were set far too high by a temporary magistrate when this all began. However, I certainly have my doubts about the ability of the judge to make a reasonable decision, again, if what my son says is accurate. The judge is brand-new to the bench (having been a magistrate prior to January), and the judge was switched mid-stream (from Panioto, who retired, to Sieve).

Depending on xxxxx xxxx   xxxxxxx, I may decide to appeal. My son is distraught at the thought of having to live with his mom – he and I are far too alike, and we both fear she will take out her animosity on him in the future.  And if I do appeal, I’m afraid I can no longer afford my attorney. I felt he made a good case for me, but I can’t afford to spend more money on
him if he is not thoroughly invested in my dilemma, which I suspect he may not be. I noticed in another post you referenced a list of ‘retain or refrain’ attorneys, but I could not find it on your site, other than one ‘refrain’. Also, any information on anyone willing to help me file my appeal inexpensively would be greatly appreciated. The ex had full control over our
finances, and did a spectacular job of ruining our credit, both jointly and my own personal credit, which I didn’t have an opportunity to rebuild, as I mentioned, she had full control over our finances.

I have been funding the divorce proceedings by borrowing money from my parents, who are on a fixed income, and can’t do so any longer. I myself am living in the good graces of my parents who are allowing me to stay in their old house so I am not destitute. At the end of my two-week pay cycle, I’m down to about $15 bucks, if I’m lucky.

Any additional money I have goes toward keeping groceries in
the house for the kids when they’re here, and buying them second-hand clothing from the thrift store, as she refuses to let them bring clothes (bought with money I earned when I lived there) to my home.

This sickens me, as I have always been very close to my children. I cooked dinner for the family virtually every night after work, when she sat on her rear and made ‘art’ which is too overpriced to sell in this economy. I put them to bed every night, took them to the park, the zoo, taught my boys to
ride their bikes, and took them to scouts and campouts.

She never attended any of those things. xxx xxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx. You know what he asked the boys? He asked what they thought of March madness basketball. Never once asked them where they wanted to stay, where they wanted to go to school, whose home provides them more (they have their own rooms where I live now). He didn’t bother to ask
them who took them to their sports practices and games, or to scouts, or to sleepovers with friends. If he had, it would have exposed her lies about how she ‘did it all’. She didn’t – I don’t begrudge what she has done for them, but she lied on the stand (and had others do so too) and said I was never there for my kids. I have always been there for my kids – always.

Yes, I strayed from her in our marriage, but not in the way she accused me of, and I was always there for my children. But she wishes to use my love for my kids as a weapon against me.

I definitely feel there was bias on behalf of the judge, as in researching him, he is a catholic school grad. There’s nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that catholic school vs. public school is a major issue in this case, and the fact that we could never afford catholic school. Oh – did I mention she is on food stamps because she refuses to get a real job?

Well, sorry for my rant. Thanks for any information you can provide, and for the resources you’ve already provided here on your site. I wish I had found it months ago…





Thanks for taking the time to email me your story. Sadly, it’s replete with “more of the same” and another good example of why the mother in approximately 83% of cases nationwide, is awarded sole custody of the children.

I personally had Panioto as a judge and although in some respects felt he truly wanted to do the right thing, I’m convinced he had either dementia, the beginnings of Alzheimer’s, or was on a medication that adversely impacted his ability to sufficiently preside over trials, and therefore was incapable of properly discharging his duties.

Quite frankly, I was going to out him to the media for the terrible injustices he committed against my daughter in my most recent custody trial. And that, by completely disregarding her testimony and while knowing that she was coached (but not by me) and for routinely falling asleep on the bench during said trial. Those were the good parts. I will for now withhold the truly horrendous things he did as they truly continue to endanger my daughter’s life in a very real sense.

It was funny how the opposing counsel’s cross-examination of what I did in this organization was allowed as my attorney’s objection on the grounds of relevance was “overruled.” However, very pertinent testimony under cross on my daughter’s mothers part (and that was to my benefit) was silenced as her attorney’s objection on the grounds of relevance was sustained. Truth be told, I may day write a book and describe (in considerable detail) what happened then.

That said, how does it apply to your case? Well, I too now have Sieve presiding over my case, and if Panioto was bad, Sieve will be ten times worse and here’s why; I’m told (and ASSUMING it’s true, so in defense of him, I must point out that I’ve not verified this personally) that he did nothing but hear “Domestic Violence” cases in Domestic Relations whereby he rubber-stamped Protection Orders. Assuming that’s indeed a fact, there’s zero hope for any fathers in his court. Reason being, his attitude will be “All mothers are truthful and good, all fathers are liars and bad.”

As far as appealing the decision, don’t waste your money. The appellate judges in the decisions I’ve read have specifically stated that they “will not substitute their interpretation of the “best interests of the children” for that of the trial court. Said otherwise, the appellate courts feel that such a determination can only best be made by the trial court judges/magistrates as they are intimate with the details of the case. I even went so far as to get my own attorney’s opinion and he says it’s “extremely difficult” to have a custody ruling overturned.

However, he did say that he’s successfully had some custody decisions successfully overturned on appeals based on technicalities. Based on what you told me in a follow-up email, perhaps you might have a chance at being successful. His contact information can be found here if you wish to run it by him. I can tell you that between attorney’s fees, filing fees and transcripts, an appeal would probably cost you about $5,000 more.

I truly wish I knew of some attorneys who would be willing to work on a pro bono basis, but knowing how many indigent fathers are out there (and how many make requests of me alone) I think many attorneys would themselves be indigent if they took on pro bono cases. I’m sorry I don’t have anything better to offer on that front. I suspect that if I were at least a 501c, I’d stand a better chance of locating some attorneys who’d work on a pro bono basis on occasion.

You asked if it’s normal for a Court to ignore its own Custody Investigator’s (CI) recommendation, and I say, “absolutely.” There’s not a CI in Ohio that in my opinion can overcome the anti-father bias and prejudice that many judges have.

Although, there was a father in Butler County Ohio who not surprisingly was involved  in a very heated contested custody trial. A court appointed Psychologist interviewed both father and mother as well as all of the kids involved. He found (and wrote in his report) in part that, “the mother was psychologically unfit to parent the children, was attempting to alienate the children from the father, she was psychologically damaging to the children, and she was abusing drugs.” I personally read through the case documents myself.

Now, given the terrible circumstances involved in that case, you can probably take one guess at who got awarded “full-custody” of the children involved and be right. And if your guess was “the father”, you’re dead wrong. The “mother” was awarded sole custody.

I personally only know of one Hamilton County father with sole custody (that’s not to say there aren’t more) and I believe the only reason he was awarded custody was because the mother was an absent drug addict. And when the father filed repeated motions to have her held in contempt for not paying child support guess what happened? Judge Tolbert (Administrative Judge) threatened to throw HIM in jail, and numerous times!

This is what we as fathers are up against. A father emailed me a few months back complaining that his attorney “sold him down river” and “tricked him” into accepting a shared-parenting (aka joint custody) agreement. I was floored, and really need to post that one to the blog, minus his identifiable information of course.

T, you felt a bias was there with the judge, because it was there. For those of you out there reading this, if you know of any father-friendly judges, please contact me.

The stories of mothers lying on the stand and leveling false accusations of physically/sexual abuse is all to common and rarely punished by the courts when it’s discovered. And that, despite perjury being a felony that’s punishable by up to five years in prison.

The reason I believe that Judge Sieve didn’t ask your sons any pertinent questions and instead relied on questions such as their fondness of March Madness is because he couldn’t care less as his mind was made up. She was getting full custody and you were/are paying “child support.”

Additionally, he doesn’t care that she doesn’t work and collects welfare because “that’s her choice.” If a father as the obligor of a “child support” order makes the same choice, he goes to jail, no questions asked.

When I at one time was arguing pro se in front of Judge Panitio  regarding Objections to the Magistrate’s Decision I filed in response to a motion to reduce (“child support”) that was denied, I argued that I was bankrupted and couldn’t afford it, and it was true. You know what he said to me as he peered down at me from his high perch on the bench? “You’re wife (referring to my present wife) needs to go out and get a better job (she was an EMT at the time) so you can pay more “child support.”

I blew a gasket at that point. He and I already didn’t “click” because we’re both Italian, but after he uttered that filth, I unleashed a verbal tirade at him whereby I said in part, “I don’t care if you are a Judge, you WILL NOT talk about my wife in the manner that you are, and you can hold me in contempt and throw me in jail for all I care, because you’re out of line.” Surprisingly enough, he apologized.

I truly know how you feel right now. After my last custody trial whereby my legal fees have approached nearly $30,000 (that could have funded my daughter’s college education) since this all began, I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach by a mule after that ruling. Reason being, all indications were that Panioto was going to rule in my favor, but he literally forgot how he intended to rule as he’d delayed issuing his final ruling until the end of Summer 2009.

I can still very clearly see that oblivious (and stupid) look on his face after he finished fumbling through all the trial notes and papers he had on the bench that pertained to my case and then looked up (and down at us) and asked out of utter bewilderment, “why are we even here”, I wanted to cry after my heart started beating again.

That said, let it go T. There’s no sense in replaying any of it in your head and playing the “what-if” game. Reason being, and truth be told, a father could have a video tape of a his ex attempting to murder his children, and I believe there are judges out there who would make excuses for her behavior and thereby grant such a mother sole custody in some cases. And as sad as it is, I’m not being facetious.

In closing, what I find most repulsive about this madness is how those feckless, wooden and perfunctory Ohio “Family Court” judges, and without any consideration for the “best interests of the children” whatsoever, will gleefully, proudly, and in some cases knowingly place the children into the sole custody of a “mother” who’ll out of her insatiable appetite for vengeance and spite will do nothing but use the children to punish the father.

Rest assured that just as the sun rises and sets each and every day, and so long as the father never bad-mouths the mother in front of the children (an act that is always inappropriate and wrong) the children will grow up and one day hate her.

As I’ve said before, mothers who are hell-bent on effecting their vengeance out of nothing more than their seething hatred for the men they chose to lie down with and create children, need to learn to love their children more than they hate the fathers thereof before they can even comprehend and thereby effect the “best interests” of those very children that they claim to love.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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My Reasons for Founding Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

After my horrific introduction to Ohio’s “‘Child Support’ Extortion Agency” (CSEA) and Ohio’s Domestic Relations (aka “Family”) Court system, the kaleidoscope through which I viewed life was forever altered, and in a totally unchangeable way.

In truth, it’s extremely difficult for me to describe. My life at that point simply became surreal. As a person I existed, but as only a shell of what I once was. My ‘life’ was monotonous and very mundane, and I had only one goal each day as I dreadfully rolled out of bed, or wherever I found myself sleeping; put one foot before the other.

The reality and “awakening” of being dragged into the nightmare of playing the part of an unwilling actor in the double-featured horror show, otherwise known as Ohio’s “Child Support” Enforcement Agency and Ohio’s Domestic and Juvenile Relations (aka “Family”) Court system, can only be best described by me as told in the forthcoming.

You’ve lived your life as it were for 20, 30, 40 or so years. During that time, you’ve acquired and formed your morals, norms and mores, and developed your own healthy concept of what life is both in your own personal sense, as well as that of being a United States citizen who “has Constitutional rights.” Rights that can in no way be abridged or infringed upon, as you and society as a whole agree that they are both God-given and inalienable. Or so you thought; then comes the day  you’re served with a civil action and thereby are introduced to Ohio’s CSEA and in many cases “Family Court,” as the insanity only just begins.

If you were “fortunate” enough to have retained counsel, your initial shock is somewhat minimized. But only in a minuscule way, and just because someone else can speak for you so you therefore don’t have to. That, as you’re slumped in your chair in some legal meeting or court hearing, and while merely existing at that point in a quasi-conscious state whereby you ponder ever so deeply how it is that your view of reality itself could have been so utterly faltered and delusional as it was…and is. “My God!!!” only begins to describe your profound shock and your equally extensive unbelief and trepidation.

I can think of no greater shock or disillusionment than that exact moment at which you realize that the statement, “I’m an American, this can’t happen to me” has absolutely no meaning. And that to such an extent that not only does it ring hollow, said statement is sadly quite comical within the “Family Court” theater.

However, that makes perfect sense when one grasps the finality of the statement, “the ‘best interest’ of the child trumps all.” In short, you’ve just been introduced to a parallel universe that in most cases only comes to life and thereby into existence at a specific and very precise point in time; the birth of your first (and absolutely precious) child.

Although said universe comes into existence at that very moment and ever so closely parallels your existing life, it never collides with your sense of reality until in the case of fathers, the mother of your child determines that she know longer wants you not only in her life, but most importantly, in your child’s life.

However, said parallelism exists as such, and the worlds so close, that the line of separation defining both is as close as bone is to marrow and therefore unseen. Moreover, it is never, nor can it be, breached until said collision occurs. And that very destructive collision is always only one thought away. It’s at that very moment, when she unilaterally decides that “you’re out”, and although unknown to you at the time, the said parallel universe replaces your aforementioned sense of reality, and in a very emotionally violent manner.

And the incredibly turbulent, life-altering and increasingly destructive impact of those two worlds colliding will be felt by you for the first time, when you realize either via your attorney, or the Court or CESA through an order, that you’ll lose EVERYTHING you’ve spent a lifetime building. But most importantly, you’ll lose unfettered access to your children, as well as your God-given right to parent them.

Now, the court and the mother of your child will decide if, when and how you’ll see or talk to your children. And that, and for those who don’t know, is so the State of Ohio and her 88 County “Child Support” Enforcement Agencies can “financially profit” on the seemingly never ending destruction that will rain down upon you and yours lives for the next 18 to 25 or more years, as you’re subjugated and enslaved to a financially unbearable “child-support” order that by its very design, may put you behind bars for many years to come.

The absolute worst, most important, and heart-wrenching part of what I’ve described herein is this; all of that life-altering and utterly horrendous destruction that’s experienced by the father will also be experienced and felt ( but in a magnitude that’s exponential in nature) by the innocent and precious children involved. Those very children whom the State of Ohio, the Courts, and Ohio’s CSEAs claim to be only acting ‘in the best interests of’, and who have absolutely no say in the matter, and didn’t ask that their world be turned upside-down in the very hateful and self-centered manner whereby just that will be done.

And for what purpose is such ugly decimation and destruction heaped upon not only you, but more importantly your children? Simply because you made a choice to become a father. And it’s for that reason, coupled with the fact that I too grew up without a father, that I have this inexplicable compulsion to expose the unconscionable double-featured horror show that’s euphemistically known as Ohio’s “Family Court”system and it’s increasing punitive financial arm known as the Ohio “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA).

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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Another Warren County Father Commits Suicide

Recently, a noncustodial father who was being harassed by the Warren County Ohio “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA) and who hadn’t seen his children in years, committed suicide.

Given that he only recently sought help for his accompanying mental illness, his case file wasn’t replete with the specifics surrounding his harassment at the hands of the Warren County CSEA nor just how troubled he was by not being able to see his children.

Nonetheless, I can assure you that the harassment he received from the Warren County CSEA and his inability to see his children (that will tear any loving mom or dad down to nothing) absolutely and without a doubt contributed to his decision to take his own life.

But how you ask, can I make such a claim without ever having such confirmed by him? “Easily and confidently” is my reply. I’ve been down that road after having been subjugated, humiliated, bankrupted and abused by the Hamilton County “Child Support” Enforcement (aka Extortion) agency as well as the Hamilton County Domestic Relations Court.

Trust me when I say that my current wife did not for years believe the horrific stories I told her about the Hamilton County CSEA nor the Hamilton County Domestic Relations Court. She had at one time admitted that she thought I was exaggerating when I’d explain the torment I’d endure at the hands of both.

I was driven to the edge to such an extent by both, that I met with a National Guard Recruiter and despite my Engineering Degree and my career at that time being IT, I was going to enlist in an Infantry position.

I told my recruiter that he would have to put in writing that the Army would guarantee me an infantry position that upon my completion of basic training,  would ensure that I’d be shipped to Iraq and patrolling the streets of Baghdad.

When the shooting started, I wasn’t ducking; and if I was going to go out, at least it would be in a dignified manner, and while taking as many terrorists as I could with me. My daughter would then would grow up thinking and believing that her father died a war hero.

The night before I was to drive with the recruiter to sign the papers in Columbus OH, I called him and told him, “I’m sorry, but I’ve changed my mind. There’s a five year old girl who needs her daddy.” “I understand,” he said. And I never heard from him again.

Anyone who knows anything about recruiters knows this; they NEVER give up. This one did because he knew; he knew something was wrong, and he knew that an infantry position wasn’t the best match for me, so he therefore kept trying to get me to accept an engineering type job. I’m not sure why, and given that he was a recruiter, but I truly felt that he didn’t want any part in what neither of us never openly acknowledged nor discussed, but we both surely knew; that I was looking for a one-way ticket.

I wanted to meet my maker (and for the first time in my life) because the Hamilton County CSEA along with Ohio’s “Family Court” (aka Hamilton County Domestic Relations Court) nearly destroyed me emotionally through their HORRIFIC abuse that they continually  inflicted upon me.

I (and more importantly my daughter Maria) were fortunate as I “came out the other side.” It’s because I did, that I decided to start Ohio Council for Fathers Rights and began helping others. Especially those caught in the dual snare of the CSEAs and “Family Court” who as a direct result of such, were contemplating taking their own precious lives.

Knowing first hand the extent of the unconscionable and unspeakable albeit very purposeful damage (emotional, financial, mental and otherwise) those two evil entities gleefully and proudly inflict upon noncustodial mothers, noncustodial fathers and the children thereof; I am inexplicably and overwhelmingly compelled to expose the ‘why’ behind the unspeakable carnage they leave behind in their quest. A quest that is solely and wholly driven by  a sum of money known as a profit.”

A profit that Ohio’s CSEAs earn at the expense of Ohio’s innocent and precious children by extorting Ohio’s noncustodial parents through a governmental and a court-sanctioned theft known as a “payroll deduction” that’s euphemistically referred to as “child support.”

The State of Ohio, through Title IV Part D of the Social Security Act, is actually paid a profit by us, the taxpayer (through the Social Security payroll taxes that we pay) every time a noncustodial parent is forced to pay “child support.”

That’s the very reason why Ohio’s CSEAs (and Ohio’s Statutes) state that all “child support” payments (even 18 years worth and with canceled checks proving them) made directly from the noncustodial parent (aka “child support” paying-the father in 83% of cases nationwide)  to the custodial parent are considered ‘gifts;’ because the CSEA cannot take their cut if the monies weren’t paid through (extorted by) their agency.

So don’t kid yourself, they don’t step in to “help mom;” they couldn’t care less about mom or the children involved. They step in and play the middle-man because that’s the ONLY way they can profit off of a “child support” payment.

And it’s the absolutely hateful, contemptuous, punitive, unjust and abusive manner in which they collect their profit, that some fathers ultimately decide to kill themselves as a ‘way out’ after they determine they can no longer be subjugated , humiliated and abused by Ohio’s CSEAs.

You are so beaten down; so subjugated, humiliated, despondent and hopeless due to the abuse and financial destruction of an unbearable “child support” order, that suicide looks to be not just your only way out, but a welcoming and comforting one as well. Freedom, is only one ‘last breath’ away.

I know that, because I personally have “been to the edge,” and was driven there by Ohio’s CSEA whose anti-father war hammer was and is Ohio’s “Family” Courts.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

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Received Via Email: Currently a Victim of CSEA

Date: Mon, 4 Apr 2011 19:42:25 -0700 [04/04/2011 07:42:25 PM PDT]
From: Axxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com
To: Tony Fantetti
Subject: Currently a Victim of CSEA

Hello Tony

I am desperate and trying to find help, advice or anything in regards to my Child Support Issue. I have a 2 yr old son name xxxx and currently pay child support through the Trumbull County CSEA. I am also currently in a court battle for joint custody. My son was born out of wedlock. The child support order originally started in xxxxx xxxx. The original amount was $289.68 and I provided full health insurance. I now live in xxxxxx. In August 2010 I hired legal representation and started fighting for joint custody. In October 2010  a re audit was completed after my son’s mother got a job. Prior to this the original judgment was based off my income of $21,000. Her income was “0″. I never recieved any documentation in the mail nor was I informed by phone in regards to the new calculated amount of child support. I did not find out the new support amount until my December hearing. The agency increased the amount to around $830.00 based off incorrect numbers
to this day they can not give me an answer of where they got the numbers from. They did not include my health insurance in the calculation and my son’s mother claimed that daycare cost $9,000 a year which i now know is false. Up to this point I never missed a single child support payment. I have an attorney that seems like he can care less about my case plus I made a horrible mistake in choosing my attorney who is the xxxxxx xxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxx xxxx. As of now my trial date is set for xxxxxxxxx but today I received an invoice from the CSEA calming i owe over $5,000 in support. Over $2,400 compared to what i was told by a supervisor less then a month ago.

I am begging for you help or to please point me in the right direction.
Thank You

Axxxxxx xxxxxxx



I’ll be contacting you via email regarding your current attorney as I may decide to add him to my “Attorneys; Retain or Refrain” category. Additionally, his obvious lack of interest in vigorously representing you may have more to do with him “living off his name” instead of him actually working for a living.

That aside, there’s absolutely NO REASON he can’t address the issues you’ve mentioned via motion. A first year law student should (via discovery, interrogatories, deposition and finally cross examination) be capable of handily demonstrating the fraud behind the mother’s claim of “$9,000 in daycare expenses.”

Where are the receipts, invoices etc? If there is no evidence of such in court, your attorney (especially given his credentials) should be able to easily expose and dispatch that fraud. I traveled down that road for many years, hence the reason for some of my current overpayment.

It’s imperative that your “clownsel” (that seems, as I’m sure you would agree based on what you said, more fitting than “counsel”) motion the court for a CSEA audit, a motion to modify, and ask for a credit for all of the additional “child support” that you paid for the unproven “daycare expenses” that I suspect are the reason your “child support” obligation was raised from $289.68 to ~$830.00 per month.

My own “child support” obligation was raised nearly $600 per month to pay for “daycare expenses” that were never proven in court. No receipts were shown, the claim was merely made, and my “child support” obligation was raised, period, end of story.

Another thing; you should have received a credit for the health insurance you provide (the Trumbull County CSEA earns a profit off of medical support orders as well) towards your monthly “child support” obligation in the amount you pay for health insurance. Another thing you should ask for is a deviation for extraordinary travel expenses.

I at one time lived about 550 miles from my daughter (and still live a considerable distance) and was granted a downward deviation in my obligation as I was (and still do) traveling about 2200 miles per month to “visit” my daughter.

It’s a well-known and often used tactic by child support moms (CSMs) to claim phantom daycare expenses with the sole purpose of having your “child support” raised so they can in turn use those additional “child support” monies you pay for their own benefit.

As far as the CSEA not contacting you, you are required under Ohio Law to notify them of your new address, did you do that?

You can request an audit from the CSEA as you’re entitled to that. However, I’d tell your “clownsel” to motion the court for an audit as well, as the CSEAs are not very responsive to their “clients” whom are fathers.

Moreover, any correspondence you send to the CSEA should be sent by certified mail. Otherwise (and trust me on this one as I hear it from fathers all over Ohio) the Trumbull CSEA will claim they “never received” your request. Anything I send to the CSEA is sent by certified mail, or through my attorney. I will also generally record my conversations with them as well.

Lastly, how much is your “net” take home pay each week after the Trumbull County “Child Support” Agency extorts your “child support” obligation from your paycheck? Under Federal Law, they can’t seize more than 50% of your “net”weekly pay unless you have an arrears, in which case they can seize up to 65% of your “net” weekly pay. If that means you’re only left with $25 per week (net pay) to support yourself, or you end up homeless as a result, rest assured that there’s not one person in the Trumbull County CSEA who cares. In fact, they couldn’t care less.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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How to Avoid Having your Assets Wrongfully Siezed by Ohio’s CSEA

Update April 6, 2011 23:00: I happened upon the following shortly after posting the blog entry below. I know from experience that just because a “Child Support” Extortion Agency labels someone a “deadbeat dad” and alleges he owes “X amount of dollars in arrears”, that doesn’t make it so. That said,  this story is worth reading as it only confirms what I’ve said below.

Additionally, notice in the story how the Arizona “Child Support” Enforcement representative (Veronica Ragland) makes the “false” claim,

“And his two children, who are now adults, should see some of that money.”

Really Ms. Ragland? Is that so? And on what basis do you make such a claim, did the mother who’ll receive that cash tell you so? Or, are you flat out lying as many CSEA employees do? Studies show that only about 30-35% of “child support” payments are spent on the children of the order. The rest of the money is spent by the custodial parent to support “their” lifestyle. Additionally, that 30-35% is considered to be a generous amount. The real amount is thought to be lower.

Finally, notice what else Ms. Ragland is quoted as saying in the article,

“”If there’s a child support obligation, we go after it,” said Veronica Ragland of the Arizona Department of Economic Security’s Child Support Enforcement. She said they will take everything from a person’s retirement account to inheritances.”


I’ve thought long and hard about whether or not to post information such as this for numerous reasons, one of which is that it could possibly assist those who have legitimate arrears that should in fact be paid. And that is NOT my intent, nor the purpose of this organization.

However, there are countless fathers like myself who’ve wrongfully had assets seized (such as my current wife’s tax return) and thereby effectively stolen from them via the CSEA’s thievery, so as to satisfy an illegitimate “child support” arrears that never existed. It’s for those people, who DON’T have a legitimate arrears, that I am providing this information.

I’ve spoken to fathers who’ve had thousands (in one case $24,000) debited from their checking and or savings accounts by Ohio’s “Child Support” Extortion Agency (CSEA). Keep in mind that in situations where a mistake is made, a father just can’t get his money back.

The CSEA plays the role of a thief, also known as the “man-in-the-middle” whereby they steal the obligor’s income (the father in 83% of cases nationwide) through a theft known as a payroll transaction, take “their cut,” then turn the money over to the obligee which is the mother in most cases.

So when mom spends the money (studies show most of it is spent on her and NOT the children involved in the order) it’s gone, period. That said, if a mistake has been made, or on the off chance the CSEA admits to an error or it’s ordered by the court that the monies should be refunded to the father what do you think happens?

I for one can testify that it takes YEARS for a father to get that money back, there are no fees refunded to him, no interests, and if there’s a change of custody (whereby the father is named the custodial parent and no longer pays child support) or the mother passes, he may never see that money.

I’m nearly $7,500 “overpaid” in my “child support” obligation. Monies were taken from me that never should have been. The  court was motioned for my monthly “child support” to cease until the arrears was at zero, but the court didn’t rule in such a manner. It ruled that my monthly “child support” obligation should be lowered a paltry $100 per month. At that rate, I won’t have my own money given back to me for more than 6 years. I won’t get interest, nor will the CSEA’s fees (the money they charged me to take my money) be refunded to me.

Should I be awarded custody in the mean time, I’ll never see that money again.  Additionally, Moria Weir of the Hamilton County CSEA was ordered two months ago by a Hamilton County Judge to reduce my monthly obligation by $100 as explained. She continues to refuse to do so.

However, Ms. Weir willfully refuses to comply with said order and is now in contempt of court. It’s for that reason (Ms. Weir’s direct contempt) coupled with a recent email I just received that I’ve decided to post this information.

A father just informed me that his savings account was cleaned out by one of Ohio’s CSEAs for an arrears that he too “didn’t” have. His option? Pay an attorney between $2,500 and $5,000 to file a motion to get his own money back. That is court and government-sanctioned theft, period.

Therefore, I’d like to dedicate this post to Moria Weir, Director, Hamilton County Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA) as my “Thank You” for her direct contempt whereby she refuses to return thousands of dollars that are rightfully mine, and my daughter’s.

You know who my daughter is, right Ms. Weir? She’s the child that your agency claims to only act in the best interests of. That said, please tell me how it’s in her best interests that you refuse to return my money as you were ordered to by the court?

There are many things my daughter needs, and that I’d like to buy, but I can’t do so because you refuse to return the monies owed to my daughter’s father-me. Again I ask Ms. Weir, how is that in her “best interest?”

It’s certainly not in my “best interest,” not that you care, after all you’re in contempt as it relates to my case. From what I can ascertain Ms. Weir, it’s mainly in your agency’s best financial interest not to return my money, because that’s less money you’ll “profit” on if you comply with the court’s order right? To elaborate, your “poundage fee” will be reduced if you lower my monthly “child support” obligation as you were ordered to by the court correct?

As a matter of fact Ms. Weir, isn’t it true that the longer you drag out the lowering of my “child support” obligation, and the longer you defy that Hamilton County Judge by choosing to remain in contempt, the more profits you can bring to your agency as well as the state of Ohio?

Back to addressing what I’ve titled in this post; if you only have a court ordered “child support” order against you, but especially if the CSEA  falsely alleges that you are in arrears, then I personally would do the following if it were me in your position:

1. I would own no property whatsoever that’s subject to liens. Property such as cars, houses, boats, RVs, jet skis, motorcycles, and anything that has a title to it. Reason being, Ohio’s CSEAs will place unjust liens on such property. I know this, because it was done to me by the Hamilton County CSEA. Said properties are better off titled to someone you trust, assuming they’re willing to assume the inherent risk from doing so.

2. Have no savings, checking, CDs, or investment accounts with your social security number on the account. The CSEAs search bank account records by Social Security number. So if your SS number shows up on one of the aforementioned accounts, the CSEA will clean the account out. And, it DOESN’T matter if it’s a joint account with your girlfriend, fiance, mom, dad, sister, wife etc etc. If your social appears on the account the CSEA will seize all monies in the account and tell the joint account owner (whomever that may be, wife, child etc) “prove” we took your money and not his, and they’ll keep it if you’re unsuccessful in your efforts to prove whose money it was.

Grant it, if you fight with them long and hard enough, you can get the other person’s money back in some cases if you can indeed ”prove it was theirs.” But don’t for one moment think that that the ‘Child Support’ Extortion Agency won’t fight you, your wife, girlfriend (or whomever the other person was) tooth and nail in their slimy efforts to keep that money. As far as they’re concerned, the person sharing the account with you is just as guilty as you, and despite you being innocent of the arrears they accuse you of having.

3. Avoid at all costs if you can, getting an income tax refund. If the CSEA alleges you have an illegitimate arrears, they’ll seize your “joint” or individually filed tax return. Once again, they’ll tell your wife “prove that was your money” and keep it. Keep in mind that you DO NOT want to break any laws. This IRS tax withholding calculator can help you decide. If you claim too many dependents, you could end up owing money. Therefore, it’s best to seek the advice of a professional tax adviser before making any tax related changes such as these.

4. If you play the lottery, receive an inheritance, or receive a large settlement from a lawsuit or any type of settlement, the word is “mum.” Perhaps someone you trust could handle such affairs in confidence. Also be very careful about where you put that money. If you cash your own lottery ticket, you’ll be required to provide your social security number if it’s a substantial amount of money, and your social security number will be run through a “child-support” database.  If Ohio’s CSEA discovers those funds and alleges you have an illegitimate arrears, they’ll seize the money. Assuming you do have a legitimate arrears, don’t count on the CSEA to seize the proper amount of money, they’ll seize whatever they choose, and I’m “not” being sarcastic or facetious in saying that. So think hard about how you collect your winnings.

If you inherit a large sum of money, seek the advice of a competent attorney and be certain to advise them that the CSEA is falsely alleging you have a “child support” arrears. If that money shows up in any accounts with your social security number on it, consider it gone, and it’ll be taken without warning!

5. If you suddenly find yourself with a large amount of money (which I truly hope is only acquired via legal means); again, the word is “mum.” The fewer people that know, the better. Rest assured that as sure as the sun rises, if you run your mouth about it, it’ll find it’s way back to the CSEA. They’ll label it “income” and raise your ‘child support’ obligation by unconscionably and financially unbearable amounts. Or, If the CSEA alleges you have an illegitimate arrears, they’ll seize your money.

6. If you are self-employed (for example 1099) and are paid directly whether it be cash, check or money order, the CSEA in most cases (especially in cash transactions) is unable to wrongfully size money for an illegitimate arrears that they falsely allege you owe.

Finally, a legal disclaimer: What’s contained herein is not to be construed as legal advice in any manner whatsoever. What I’m offering here is my opinion only. You should seek the advice of a competent attorney before acting upon any information found on this blog. Failure to consult a competent attorney could be detrimental to you, or your family, or your friends, or others, or your case.

In closing, and for those of you who remember; do you recall the days when the IRS was considered vicious and out-of-control in how they effected their collections efforts? Well Ohio’s CSEAs (and all CSEAs nationwide for that matter) make the IRS of old seem impotent. If the old IRS were to be compared to a beagle for instance, the CSEAs of today are to be considered insane, rabid and psychotic pit bulls that weren’t intentionally loosed, but rather they “broke free” of the 3/8″ thick chains they were yoked to and are now out-of-control and running wildly.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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Don’t Know if You Can Help

I received the following via email:

Haven’t seen my now 5 year old son in over 13 months. Now have a 3 month old daughter. I’m low income and have been calling ABLE since Oct. but told to call back in 3 months they cant help. Been rejected three times by them, can you direct me to a low income legal service. I am only thirty five dollars in the rear for my child support and haven’t missed a payment in over a year. My ex cut me stopped visitation five months after our separation because she found out i finale found someone new. Not on my sons school contact list. Changed her number so i cant schedule visitation. Found out he now calls me by my first name and tells people that I hate him. My situation is just not right. If you cant direct me to some legal help. I understand and will keep trying on my own.


Right there in that father’s email is a “prime” example of what the State of Ohio, Ohio’s 88 County “Child Support” Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs) and Ohio’s “Family Courts” consider “the best interests of the children.”

Ohio, it’s CSEAs, and the Courts couldn’t care less about this Ohio father’s little children. They ONLY care about the profit they’re making at his children’s expense. And that, while the child support mom (CSM) stealing this father’s income lies to and uses to innocent children in her sick, demented and twisted game whereby she uses his children to punish him, and them, by depriving them of a loving father who wants a relationship with his precious children.

I’ve seen a lot, hear a lot and cried about a lot over the years, but for some reason, this story is especially sickening to me. If this father were to fall behind in his “child support” payments, the CSEA would be enacting increasingly abusive punitive measures that would eventually end up with a criminal felony nonsupport indictment of this father. Even more vile and disgusting, Ohio’s CSEA would provide for free an attorney to the disgusting example of a “mother” in this case so as to ensure that this father would  go to jail.

I challenge anyone who supports Ohio’s vile and despicable “child support” system (aka CSEA) to post to this blog, the foundation of your support for such a perverted and repulsive agency who’s very conduct is behind this madness.

To those of you who in your manifold ignorance defend Ohio’s CSEAs; you are implicitly condoning the behavior of “mothers” such as the one described herein by supporting an agency that perpetrates and financially rewards those who willfully separate fathers from their children.

Even more sickening, is that Ohio’s CSEAs earn a profit each and every time the father who sent me the email above pays his “child support” obligation.

It is said that in the end times, what seems right will be wrong, and what seems wrong will be right. I can think of no better example of that than stealing income from one person in a transaction I call a “payroll theft” and giving it to another (the custodial parent-the mother in 84% of cases nationwide) while the man-in-the-middle who conducts the theft (Ohio’s CSEAs) “profits” from said transaction.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Child Abuse, Custody Issues, Emails from Others, Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), The Voices of Others, This is in the "Best Interests of the Children?", Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Another Perspective

Date: Mon, 04 Apr 2011 19:07:04 -0700 [07:07:04 PM PDT]
From: Tony Fantetti
Subject: Re: Another perspective

Thanks for taking the time to write me and share your perspective wth me. Your email brings up many issues that I’d like to address here in my reply.

Before delving into my response, I’d like to stress that I’m fully aware that there are many extraordinary moms out there who don’t abuse the system and more importantly consider their children’s best interest. That said, what I write is not directed at them, but at those to the contrary.

When I started this organization in 2007, I for the most part felt that “reasonable” amounts of child support was both warranted and morally just. Today, I know longer believe that, and regardless of who has custody, be that mom, dad or both.

I now believe that in most situations where there’s 50/50 “joint-custody” or if both parents have access to the children, then “child support” in such scenarios is the moral equivalency of theft.

To further explain; if a husband divorces his wife or a wife divorces her husband, then they should divorce themselves from their former spouse’s income, period. To seize said income under the guise of “child support” isn’t morally justified in this day and age in my humble opinion. It’s done (and morally accepted by most) simply because the law allows for it.

I don’t say that just because I’m a noncustodial parent (NCP), I say that because I truly believe that on a moral level, being on the receiving end of “child support” equates to a state-sanctioned theft.  Both parents, whether designated custodial parent (CP) or NCP by the courts, have most of the same expenses as they relate to the children involved. Being labeled NCP by a court doesn’t miraculously make ones child related expenses disappear.

Both must provide a roof over the child’s head, electricity, food, clothes, etc etc. So why is one parent (the NCP) forced under the threat of arrest and incarceration to pay “child support” to the CP? That makes no sense in situations where that “child support” paying NCP didn’t willfully walk out of their children’s lives, didn’t want to be kicked out of their children’s lives, but rather was unwillingly and forcefully separated from their children by an ex-spouse (or custodial mother in the case of “single moms”) through the courts and without a morally justifiable reason.

Additionally, why should  someone be entitled to more of their ex-spouse’s (or in the case of never-married moms, the father of her children) income simply because for instance, that person’s salary went from say $25,000 per year to $250,000 per year? Or, if an NCP wins the lottery, what moral right does the CP have to those winnings? Absolutely none in my humble opinion.

Trust me when I say I “truly” emphasize with you when you say that you’ve been forced to defend yourself in the five year court battle you mentioned. I know what that’s like and have personally lived that myself for more than seven years and after nearly $30,000 in legal fees.

However, what I don’t understand (not knowing your case) is why you mention that he’s voluntarily underemployed. I can infer from it that he’s most likely not working at anywhere near what you think his income potential is, and therefore the court ordered “child support” amount is somehow negatively affecting you.

I do recognize that there are both moms and dads (“child support” paying) who are willingly under-employed. But shouldn’t they also have a choice in what type of work they want to perform? What if someone wants to change careers, and doing so means they won’t be able to pay as much “child support?” Should they NOT be allowed to do so because they’re ordered to pay “child support” and doing so would significantly lower their income?

Is it right that they’re implicitly forbidden from going back to college (and work a remedial job while doing so) because they’re ordered to pay X amount of money per month as a “child support” obligation, and couldn’t meet that obligation if they did so? If the answer is yes, then please explain to me where they have any personal choices in the divorce that many of them didn’t ask for to begin with?

The court dictates how and when they can interact with their children and also dictates what career path they’ll take. Is that equitable, just and fair to someone who didn’t ask for nor want divorce in the first place?

Ohio law (and many states for that matter) wrote their “child support” statutes in such a way as to seize up to 65% or more of the NCP’s monthly “net” income. Additionally, lottery winnings, legal settlements, inheritances, bonuses, etc are all considered income. Some NCPs (such as actors, athletes, doctors etc) are ordered to pay $5000, $10,000 and in some cases tens of thousands of dollars  per month in “child support.”

At what point do we as a society become honest with ourselves and say, “this has nothing to do with the children, and everything to do with someone being forced to financially support an ex-spouse or a “one night stand?””

In closing MXXXXXX, please know that much of what I asked is rhetorical in nature and not directed at you personally. It’s truly commendable that you aren’t taking advantage of the system in the manner that I’ve regularly blogged about here. Additionally, I do recognize that there are some cases where divorce is a must. However, I think we would agree that in these times, many people divorce at the drop of the hat, and for no good reason.

And yes, I do know that (as I said before) there are many great moms out there;  I’m currently married to one. When my present wife made the decision to leave her marriage, she did so by agreeing to give sole custody of her children to her ex-husband and refused to take any part of his two pensions or his social security benefits. She felt that because she was the one who chose to end the marriage that she wasn’t entitled to any of those things. Instead of “taking her ex-husband to the cleaners,” she decided that the morally right thing to do was to take nothing from him.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Quoting M <XXXXXXX@XXXXX.com>:
Mr. Fantetti,
I was doing some research on willfull underemployment, and I stumbled on your website.  It is unfortunate that you seem to have been exposed to so many men who have had such bad luck with the “system.”
As I write this, I have been in a 5 year court/co-parenting battle with my son’s father.  Currently, I am spending my hard earned money that I make working 6 days a week to defend myself from a man who chooses to be willfully underemployed.  To say that I am exhausted is an understatement.  On many occasions I would like to give up, throw in the towel, and just call it quits.  He has done exactly what he promised when we were married–that if I ever left him he would make my life hell.  BUT, at the end of the day, I have my child’s best interest in mind.  I don’t put my stake in the court system.  They have failed me time and time again.
As you know the there are no winners and losers in a divorce…only losers.  The losers are the children.  You have such an opportunity to support these men and give them hope.  They need to be their for their kids through thick and thin-child support or no child support.
I hope that you, too, can see that there are some great moms out there who are not taking advantange of the system and would never want to see their child’s father in such a weak and exposed state.
May God bless you and the men that you serve,

Posted in The Voices of Others, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Another Perspective

Warren County Father with Mental Disorder Jailed for Failing to Pay “Child Support”

Mr. Fantetti I am glad that I have stumbled upon your website. Although i may be a little late. I will go into Warren County court in the morning for a contempt charge. I am expecting to be arrested and serve thirty days in the county jail. I have 4 children and 3 separate orders all totaling up to around $600.00/month which I cannot pay. I am currently filed for social security disability benefits for a mental disorder mainly caused by all the drama of not being able to be there for or see my children. I have not seen my children for Six years now and it takes a great toll as a father. I also have a family here with 3 children that I am the step-father of. I just don’t know what to do in these circumstances if you or anyone can help please let me know I can be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx Since I will most likely not return in the morning my fiancée can be reached at xxx-xxx-xxxx.any help or advice is appreciated.

Father in Distress,

I received what’s posted above via email shortly before this father was sentenced to jail because he was unable to meet his “child support” obligation. Before I proceed, it’s imperative that you understand that the State of Ohio claims that jailing this father is “in the best interests” of his children. Really? And I as one who grew up without a father asks this “how exactly is it in a child’s best interest to be separated from their father?” I can personally attest to the fact that it’ll affect you for the rest of your life in many profound ways.

There are numerous things worth discussing regarding this particular father’s dilemma, and they are as follows, but in no particular order:

1. The Ohio CSEA’s claims that they “act only on the best interests of the child.”
2. This father has 3 separate orders with the CSEA.
3. The mental distress that is experienced by fathers who aren’t allowed (or can’t) see their children is incredibly stressful and is very difficult to cope with. So much so, that some fathers commit suicide.

In regards to number one, make no mistake about it; the Warren County CSEA and all of Ohio’s 88 county CSEAs regulary incarcerate fathers who want to, but “can’t” pay their “child support” obligations. So what’s the Ohio CSEAs’ answer to the worst economy since the Great Depression, coupled with Ohio’s incredibly high (higher than the national average) unemployment rate? They happily, and out of nothing more than vengeance and hatred, regularly throw very good and incredibly loving fathers in jail.

Now, please just use your own judgment and seriously think about what I’m going to ask you; how does it help the children, and more importantly, how is it in a child’s best interest when Ohio’s CSEAs incarcerate fathers (and charge many of the same with career-destroying felonies) when a dad wants to, but it “unable” to meet his “child support” obligation? Seriously, does that make any sense to you whatsoever? They help children by jailing their fathers? Huh???

As stated in number two, this father has multiple,multiple (three to be exact) “child support” orders with the CSEA. I have only one, and it’s not just nerve-wracking, it’s absolutely maddening to have to deal with the incompetence of the “caseworkers” as well as the agency itself. For example, I have a $7,000+ overpayment for good reason.

Additionally, and regarding my second to last withholding order, the Hamilton County CSEA sent my employer no less than five different wage deduction notices for the “same” court-mandated deduction order.

So what’s so complicated about deducting “x amount of dollars” from a paycheck? Absolutely nothing. And not coincidentally, the CSEA kept ordering that too much money be deducted from my pay. I therefore can’t even fathom having to deal with those incompetents (assuming you can even reach any of them) for three separate deduction orders.

The mental distress mentioned in number three above can hardly be explained, it simply must be experienced by someone (and I’ve been through it, although thankfully not to the horrific extent as this father) to understand what being separated from your children can do to your mind, your intellect, and your emotional well being.

Until the powers to be (the politicians) change the rules (laws) to stop those (the States through their CSEAs) who are splitting the profits they “earn” from “child support” collections through Title IV (of the Social Security Act) Federal Incentive Incentive Match, we’ll continue to see more fathers being incarcerated. And quite tragically for the children involved, more dads will be committing suicide after having been driven to it by Ohio’s CSEAs through their contemptuously hateful treatment of Ohio fathers.

In Warren County Ohio there exists the the Jeremiah Morrow Bridge. Being the tallest bridge in the State is not its only distinction, there’s a little-known surreptitious use of this bridge that’s much darker in nature; people use it to commit suicide.

To this day, I still think about that heartfelt memorial I saw one day (many years ago) on the bank of the Little Miami River some 239 feet below the bridge. It was solemn, heartbreaking, and very moving. There were no last names, and only two people identified on the plaque fastened to the memorial.

The first person  was being honored, and was the “daddy” who jumped to his death from the bridge. The second person was the clearly heart-broken daughter (I believe she called herself his Princess) who was left behind, and whom erected the memorial to honor her never to be forgotten father. A father who for reasons I don’t know, decided that death was his only option and therefore leapt from Ohio’s tallest bridge to meet it.

Being a father of a daughter myself, I couldn’t imagine taking my own life and thereby leaving her to fatherless and having to face such an ugly (and increasingly uglier) world without the guidance or perspective of a father. However, and thanks only to Ohio’s CSEAs and anti-father “Family Courts,” I do understand the mindset that leads a father to that.

That said, I do not in any way judge that father for doing what he did, and thereby leaving his daughter to deal with the aftermath. However, I cannot help but wonder if he too wasn’t driven to what he did by the Warren County CSEA or Warren County’s “Family Court.” I don’t say that without just cause.

I’ve spoken to many fathers who were suicidal and driven to that mental state by Ohio’s CSEAs and “Family Courts.” I also investigated the suicide of a Warren County father who was going through a divorce and his “way out” was drinking the chemicals used to euthanize animals.

As I’ve said, until one goes through the horrors of being subjugated by Ohio’s CSEAs and “Family Courts” which are both very misandrist in an incredibly abusive and especially ugly way, one can’t even begin to fathom the emotional horrors that noncustodial fathers (and noncustodial mothers) go through in enduring the constant abuse of Ohio’s CSEAs.

When the father who sent me the email above explains that his mental disorder was “mainly caused” by the CSEAs, not only do I believe him, I’ve fortunately experienced the same kind of abusive hell from the Hamilton County CSEA that drove that father to where he is today. I say “fortunately” because I truly mean it as it allows me to empathize with others and thereby help them through the madness.

Thankfully though, and contrary to those broken fathers who did end their own lives, and but by the grace of God, I did come out the other side. However consider what I said in number one above, “The Ohio CSEA’s claims that they “act only on the best interests of the child.””

Now ask yourself if you really believe that the Ohio CSEAs current draconian and abusive”child support” collections efforts are really about “the best interests of the children,” or if they’re truly about Ohio’s child support collections “profits” (through Title IV D Social Security Federal Incentive Match) at the emotional expense of the children.

Incarcerating fathers and abusing them with “statutory weapons of destruction” who’ve only fallen upon hard times and driving others to suicide is “in the best interests of the children?” Has anyone asked any children graveside ( after their fathers killed themselves) if they feel the same way?

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Emails from Others, Incarceration and Prison, Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses, This is in the "Best Interests of the Children?", Uncategorized, Warren County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Athens County CSEA wants to “Serve You” Better

I’m unwilling to waste the required time to point out every stupid Ohio “Child Support” Enforcement Agency’s (CSEA) website I stumble upon. However, after I happened upon the Athens County Ohio CSEA’s website, I couldn’t refrain from pointing out the absolute stupidity in it’s design, comments and the lack of intelligence behind it.

Quite frankly, I find it moronic. I say that because whoever designed it is at least twice as stupid as they think fathers are. Am I behaving unprofessionally in writing this? I think not, and if others think I am, please know that I’m unapologetic for this one as the CSEAs are fair game, and I’m just not in the mood for such childish lies right now.

From their homepage, here’s moronic statement number one:

“The agency’s goal is to ensure that all children are supported financially by both parents.”

Is that so Mr. Randall L. Galbraith, Director, Athens County CSEA? Do tell sir, because we both know that not only isn’t there “anything” you can do to “ensure” that the custodial parent (the mother in 84% of cases nationwide) spends any money (and thereby financially supports) on the child. Did you get that??? You nor your agency even knows how, where, or on whom “child support” dollars are spent. Only the custodial mother and God (but no one else) knows where or how dad’s money is spent.

Ohio’s statutes state in part in ORC 3119.07

“(A) Except when the parents have split parental rights and responsibilities, a parent’s child support obligation for a child for whom the parent is the residential parent and legal custodian shall be presumed to be spent on that childand shall not become part of a child support order, and a parent’s child support obligation for a child for whom the parent is not the residential parent and legal custodian shall become part of a child support order.”

Please allow me to translate that for you Mr. Randall; it means that neither you, nor the court, nor the judge, nor the father nor “anyone” for that matter knows where the mother spends “her” “child support” dollars. Additionally, those monies aren’t audited nor is she even required under Ohio law to spend that money on the child. She can spend it in a bar, on clothes,or to buy herself clothes/jewelery, at a casino, on illicit drugs and anywhere Mastercard is taken if she’s using the Ohio e-QuickPay Debit MasterCard®  to “steal” money from the father of her children. Just because it’s legal, doesn’t make it right Mr. Randall.

Now, that said sir, I implore you to please explain to our readers how you as the Director of the Athens County CSEA can“ensure” that custodial mothers financially support their children, because Ohio law “doesn’t” require nor provide for it. You won’t and you can’t because you’re not only lying in making such a claim, you assume that those who read that garbage on your website are half as stupid as those who put it there, and that’s not the case.

Also from the Athens County CSEA website is this quote, the last sentence of which is utter nonsense:

“Children benefit when both parents work together to take care of their children’s emotional and financial needs, even when the parents are not married to one another. Children have the right to support from both parents. They do not lose this right even if their parents divorce or never marry.

First, allow me to point out that I agree with the majority of that statement; however, it’s what I’ve put in bold that’s nothing but lying filth to put it mildly. Not only that, Mr. Randall’s agency couldn’t care less if a mother won’t allow the children to see or talk to their father. His agency couldn’t care less if she’s actively engaging in parental alienation syndrome, and they couldn’t care less if the mother won’t allow the father to emotionally support his children. The following is on the homepage of the Athens County CSEA’s website:

“Services NOT provided by CSEA: *Visitation Issues *Custody Issues”

The CSEAs don’t care about children who can’t see their father (when the custodial mother won’t allow it) because CSEAs are in business to “ensure” that they earn a profit off of each and every “child support” payment that they steal from fathers at the emotional expense of the children.

The children of divorced, or of parents who never wed, (just like the father involved) have absolutelyno rights whatsoever, PERIOD. It’s the custodial mother (or custodial father in a few cases) who solely possesses all “rights” as they pertain to the children of those parents. If I had any “rights” Mr. Randall, then in your infinite wisdom and brilliance, please explain to me why after spending over $5,000 in legal fees to have my daughter’s mother held in contempt after refusing my “visitation” “rights” after I drove nearly 600 miles, why was she not found to be in contempt? I’ll tell you why sir, because I as a non-custodial father have no rights and my daughter has less.

Foolish statement number three from Mr. Randall’s agency’s website:

“Be involved with your child support case.”
“Tell us when you move, get a new job or have any other major changes in your life.”
“Complete and updated information helps us serve you better.”

Is that so Mr. Randall? Just exactly how do you serve fathers not just “better,” but at all? By stealing up to 65% of their net weekly income so your agency can earn a profit through his “child support” payments while he lives under a bridge because your agency drove him into homelessness, or he freezes in his house in winter because he has no money to heat it because he’s left with less than $50 per week (after your agency steals his “child support” payment that’s “presumed” to be spent on the child as mom uses her “child support” debit card to pay her nightly bar tab), or your agency had dad thrown in jail after charging him with a felony because he lost his job through no fault of his own in the worst economy since the Great Depression after the CSEA refused to lower his weekly “child support” obligation.

Truth be told, you and your website utterly disgust me Mr. Randall. I find it utterly vulgar and incredibly offensive that your agency puts the stinking filthy trash that is does on its website. The most offensive of all, is that the agency you direct is nothing more than a legalized extortion ring that makes the Mafia look like a bunch of church-going choir boys.

Put bluntly Mr. Randall, the CSEA literally steals from one party (the father in 84% of cases) and gives to another party (the mother) in a transaction (a payroll theft) whereby the CSEA “earns” a profit on. Said profit as you probably know funds part of Ohio’s General Fund among other things. So with this theft going on, you have the unmitigated gall to put the crap that you do on the CSEAs website, and pretend that fathers are “customers” or “clients” with whom you “serve?”What exactly are you serving, thievery?

Even worse, and much more insulting is that you probably believe that fathers like me read your garbage and think to ourselves, “oh really? I’m a “customer” of the CSEA and I should “notify the CSEA” of “major changes” in my life (like lottery winnings, inheritances etc) so your agency can label it as “child support” and steal it from me?

You know what I think I may start doing Mr. Randall to assist fathers in evading the legalized theft that the CSEAs routinely engage in? I might just start blogging about how they can hide income and assets, just to make a wrong right.

I don’t know you and I’ve never met you, but I can tell you that I pretty much don’t like you, find you repulsive and think you’re utterly despicable on a professinal level. How is that? How can I judge you so harshly having never met you sir? It’s simple; I’m a moral and just person who believes in right and wrong, and I know what you do for a living. You may not be judged in this life for what you practice Mr. Randall, but rest assured that you will be judge in the next. And all those fathers whose lives (and their precious and innocent children’s lives) have been destroyed by the CSEAs (such as the Athens County CSEA) will be avenged after true and righteous justice is delivered on their behalf.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

Posted in Athens County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Child Support, Humor Satire Sarcasm and Cynicism | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Moria Weir of the Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency is in Contempt of Court

I’ve blogged repeatedly about my ongoing “child support” overpayment that was nearly $7,500 give or take a few hundred.

To briefly explain;  the Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) continues to deduct my “child support” obligation from my every paycheck despite me being nearly $7,500 overpaid in my obligation. I’m not even going to delve into how my overpayment mysteriously shrank by about $1,000 according to them.

That said, I called the Hamilton County CSEA last year and asked the caseworker why they keep seizing funds from me for “child support” while I’m overpaid nearly $7,500. I was told, “it’s because there’s a court order that says we must deduct your “child support” from your wages.”

Keeping that in mind, understand that without fail and like clockwork over the past 7 years, whenever the court ordered that my “child support” obligation be raised, the Hamilton County CSEA would IMMEDIATELY notify my employer that they must begin withholding the new higher amount from my paycheck, and that failure to do so would be contempt of court.

Well, that same court has now ordered the Hamilton County CSEA to lower my “child support” obligation (and to keep deducting that lower amount until my overpayment is zero)  to begin refunding my overpayment. Of course the hundreds of dollars in fees I paid to the CSEA as their “customer” will never be refunded to me, and that is one of the penalties I pay for paying my child support on time and as ordered.

Now, as I said, whenever my obligation was raised in the past, the Hamilton County CSEA quickly responded by ordering my employer to begin withholding the new higher amount, and that was reflected within one at most two pay cycles.

Well, here it is going on two months since the court ordered my money to be refunded (through a lower than normal monthly “child support” obligation) and do you think that they’ve contacted my employer and provided them with a new (lower) wage deduction order yet? The answer to that is a very emphatic NO!

And why is that, is the Hamilton County CSEA incompetent? Absolutely. Do they dislike me? Without a doubt, and to a much higher degree than they are incompetent. So are they singling me out and intentionally not lowering my “child support” obligation because they dislike me? Absolutely not.

Then what is it you ask? My answer to you ” a business.” To elaborate, the Hamilton County CSEA is a business who’s sole motive is NOT “the best interest of the children” as they falsely proclaim, but rather to “earn” a profit (through “child support” collections) at the expense of our children.

You don’t believe me? Then why do they routinely incarcerate fathers who’ve lost their jobs through no fault of their own in the worst economy since the Great Depression? Why do they suspend the drivers license of a father who’s trying desperately to become gainfully employed and yet MUST HAVE a valid driver’s license to become employed? Why do they suspend a father’s drivers license and thereby prevent him from driving so he can “visit” his children?

Why do they wrongfully and illegally seize the tax returns of fathers like myself who’ll go bankrupt and into foreclosure as I did. That, while I sat in my unheated (I couldn’t afford it) home in the dead of a brutal Midwest winter with my daughter Maria, who would look me square in the eyes and ask me through the fog of her breath (“inside” the house) “Daddy, why’s it always cold over here?”

Oh, and did I mention that Maria and I wore hats, gloves and coats INSIDE the house during the winter months in a futile effort to stay warm? Was Maria, who was shivering and cold inside my house, having her “best interests” served by the Hamilton County CSEA by having to dress as explained while we buried ourselves under layers and layers of blankets and sleeping bags during most of the time she was “visiting” me on my weekends?

Now, back to the Hamilton County CSEA’s role as a money making enterprise. Why do they willingly continue to defy a court order and thereby be in contempt of court by not lowering my monthly “child support” obligation as they were ordered to by a Hamilton County Judge? Is it because it’s in Maria’s best interest for them to continue taking money from me that they shouldn’t, and that I would otherwise be spending on her?

Of course not, as I explained, they couldn’t care less about my daughter or any other child who’s unfortunate enough to be victimized by the CSEA’s greed and profiteering at the expense of our children. Their motive then? It will cost the CSEA much needed monies in these terrible economic times, and they cannot afford to lose it as they, like everyone else, are struggling immensely with their budget amid the current economic crisis.

Allow me to elaborate; the Hamilton County CSEA, whose Director is Moria Weir, and the Section Chief Dan Cade is a business who like any other business has a sole motive which is to earn a profit.

The Hamilton County CSEA as well as all of Ohio’s 88 County CSEAs has directives that are in part dictated by Kim Newsom Bridges of the Ohio CSEA Director’s Association (OCDA). Under Ms. Newsom Bridges’ guidance, the CSEAs learn for instance how to seize the most money allowable under federal law (65% of net income) of a father’s paycheck for his “child support” obligation; even if that means that he and his children (like my daughter and I) go without heat in their home during Ohio’s brutally cold winters, or he’s driven into bankruptcy, homelessness etc.

Trust me when I say Ms. Newsom Bridges’ agencies couldn’t care less about the father, or the children of the father, who’s forced to live on $25 or less per week, and who therefore is forced to garbage pick (as I did with my daughter) to put food on the table. They care about one thing, and only thing only: “profit margins.”

I remember an email I got from an Ohio father years ago, it was very short and paraphrased, it said: “I haven’t seen or talked to my daughter in over two years because her mother won’t let me and I can’t afford an attorney because after the CSEA deducts my child support from my paycheck, I’m only left with a dollar per week to live on. PLEASE help me see my daughter, I miss love and miss her!!!

Did you get it??? “Get what” you ask? That father didn’t care about the $1 per week he was left with to live on after Ohio’s CSEA deducted his “child support” from his net pay; ALL that father cared about and petitioned me for, was assistance in seeing his precious beloved daughter whom he dearly loved, and obviously missed equally as much.

Not coincidentally, Ms. Newsom Bridges is also the President of the National Child Support Enforcement Agency (NCSEA) which  went bankrupt but still functions. My question is this; is that bankruptcy a testament to Ms. Newsom Bridges leadership?

It’s really important to understand just how deep this CSEA profiteering (at the expense of our children) goes. Ms. Newsom Bridges who at one time only had a role in Ohio, has expanded that role nationally in her dire efforts to save the Title IV profits. Those are the profits the CSEAs “earn” on our “child support” payments and that are paid to them by the Federal Government using “our” Social Security payroll taxes. By the way; ask any politician for the account number of the Social Security Trust Fund…It doesn’t exist.

Additionally, it appears that Ms Newsom Bridges is becoming more and more involved with politics as she advocates on behalf of the CSEA in the political theater. She’s looking more and more like a lobbyist to me. What I’d like to know is how her travel expenses as well as her expense accounts are funded, but I’ll save that for another day.

Back to my point, and I apologize for that lengthy sidetrack, however it is relevant because one needs a minimal understanding of the structure of the agencies that drive this profiteering, and that are for the most part under the direction of Kim Newsom Bridges in her various positions.

The Hamilton County CSEA will not lower my “child support” obligation as they were ordered because it would cut into their much needed Title IV profits as they’d be collecting fewer support dollars from me. And considering that they are in business to earn a profit in the worst economy since the Great Depression, EVERY dollar counts as you, I and everyone else knows.

But I’m only one person you say, could it really cost them that much in lost profits to lower your support obligation as the court ordered? Absolutely, when you consider this; imagine the tens of thousands of cases in Hamilton County alone. Now, consider the hundreds of thousands of “child support” cases in the State of Ohio; if the CSEA drags it’s feet on all court orders that mandate lowering a monthly child support obligation while quickly processing all court orders that raise an obligor’s monthly obligation, try to imagine on statewide basis how much money that would put in Ohio’s coffers.

To Ms. Moria Weir of the Hamilton County CSEA, I’m putting you on notice. A Contempt of Court and a court order goes two ways; just as the CSEA can file motion to have an obligor held in contempt for failing to pay child support, I as an obligor can file a motion to have you personally held in contempt for failing to obey a court order by not lowering my support obligation.

That said Ms. Weir, you will lower my monthly “child support” obligation as the court ordered nearly two months ago, or I will instruct my attorney to file a motion to have you and Mr. Dan Cade held in contempt. You, and contrary to what to you may think, are not above the law nor the courts Ms. Weir.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

Posted in Child Support, Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), National Child Support Enforcement Association (NCSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses, Ohio CSEA Directors Association (OCDA) | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Are “Single Moms by Choice” Heroines or Villains?

Before proceeding, I want to clarify the following; This article is not directed at mothers who divorced for legitimate reasons or are single through no fault of their own.

It’s directed at those “child support moms” who either chose to be a “single mom” because they didn’t (and don’t) want to marry  the father of “their” children, or they divorced the father of their children out of nothing more than self-serving and selfish reasons (that were thinly veiled as “legitimate”), or they intentionally deceived the father of “their” children so as to become pregnant, and unknowing to him, and lastly, it’s directed at the most selfish and self-centered type of “single mom by choice.”

They are those women who have that “you go girl” attitude and thereby aren’t just proud about bringing fatherless children into the world, they’re incredibly ostentatious and extremely dogmatic as they pontificate their reasons why fathers “aren’t needed” to raise children. Sadly, and like most other “single moms by choice,” they too are wrongfully worshiped and idolized as heroines when in my humble opinion they are in fact villains as I’ll explain.

What is a villain? In a general sense, they are those who oppose a hero.  Used in a sentence, we have for example this from an online dictionary: “Don’t try to make me the villain. It’s your own fault that you’re having these problems.”

I can remember a time when the norm was that mom was considered a nurturer, and dad was “Superman” or a “hero.” If you hurt or were sad, melancholy etc, you generally went to mom for comforting.

If you needed something fixed, or needed help with “the impossible” or needed protection from a bully etc, you went to dad because “dad could do anything” and was “the strongest man in the world,” end of story.

Today, and due to both feminism and a media that caters to feminists, we’re told (sometimes explicitly, other times implicitly) that dads are, “not needed,” “deadbeats”, “incompetent”, “lazy”, “ineffectual,” “uncaring,” “dolts” etc etc. In short, moms are sent from Heaven, while dads are agents of Satan, and (just like with Satan) the world would be a much better place without him.

So dad, (like Satan) is then “cast out” of the family, and the reasons for mom doing so are as innumerable as the stars, and justifiable simply because “mom says so.”

Additionally, some of the alleged reasons given by her are “to protect the children,” “because he’s a scoundrel”, “he scares me”, and “he scares the children,” “he’s “violent;”” and that despite there not being one shred of evidence to substantiate such an allegation in many cases.” In short, dad is said to be whatever mom claims he is, only much worse.

Why? Well, it’s very simple; for there to be a hero, there has to exist a villain. For instance, we hear so much about “the struggling single mom.” Most of the time, she’s said to be struggling to “provide for the children,” and she “does the best she can considering.” The problem in such a scenario? Nine times out of ten, we’re told it’s said to be “dad”, aka the “villain” who’s to blame for all of said single mom’s problems.

Even worse, and what we never hear from the media is that the majority of these moms “chose” to become single moms, and in many cases for reasons that were self-serving only when they kicked their father’s children out of their lives. We are therefore expected to pity and feel sorry for these same moms who then complain about the very situation that they alone created.

They unilaterally decided to kick dad out of his children’s lives, and then they blame him for their problems after they do so? Am I really the only one who has a problem with this? Does anyone else see the hypocrisy and wasted pity in such a scenario?

We’re told (by the media, politicians, celebrities etc) day in and day out that the biggest problem with “single dads” (who most by the way are NOT single by choice), is that they allegedly “don’t pay their child support”or they don’t “pay enough child support” and it’s therefore implied that single/divorced dads are “villains.”

Lets  quickly deconstruct the “he doesn’t pay child support” or the “he doesn’t pay enough child support” whine that many a bleater incessantly complains about.

1. In the overwhelming majority of “single mom” cases, she chose to be a single mom. Hence the term I prefer, “single mom by choice.”
2. If you kicked the father of “your” children out of their lives, why don’t you also kick his wallet of your life as well,  and support yourself with your own money as adults are expected to do?
3. I saw a study whereby it was determined that only about 30% of a father’s “child support” payments were actually spent on the child(ren). The rest supported the mother’s lifestyle. Additionally, 30% was said to be a “generous” amount.
4. Why should a father, whom you unilaterally kicked out of his children’s lives pay you anything? Said otherwise, why should you be financially rewarded for forcing your children to grow up without a father in their lives?
5. Instead of you being paid child support, how about you agree to give the father full custody, you pay him “no” child support whatsoever, and you visit the children in his house that you let him keep (along with the car) after you unilaterally decided you wanted a divorce and considering that he was against it?
6. In today’s times, it’s a statistical fact that now, more women than men are entering and graduating from college. Additionally, I believe that there are nearly equal numbers of men and women pursuing Engineering and Science degrees. So why are men still paying “child support” to women? After all, it’s equal rights right?
7. Mothers are said to be the “primary caregivers” of the children. Yet there’s about an equal number of men and women in the workforce, and more women than men attending college. That said, “daycare centers” are the primary caregivers of children in most households. Look around college campuses and you’ll see that more and more of them have clothing stores “for babies.” For what you say? Why it’s for the single mom by choice who’s collecting “child support” and going to college full time while the father of “her” children pays her “child support” and pays “her” daycare costs so she can attend classes all day while her children sit in daycare. Is that really just, equitable, fair, and most importantly in the best interest of the children?

If your answer to number 5  above is “no,” then please comment on this post and give me one substantiated and justifiable reason that you won’t agree to number 5 if your sole motive is not money, and therefore selfish greed at the expense of your children.

The definition of a wretch is, “: a miserable person : one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune.” Many a single moms by choice do nothing but complain about how miserable their lives are, and because they allege, the father of their children either a) doesn’t pay “child support”, or b) doesn’t pay “enough” ‘child support’ according to her.

A wretch is also a synonym for villain. Additionally, and as I demonstrated earlier, a dictionary example of using villain in a sentence is this: “Don’t try to make me the villain. It’s your own fault that you’re having these problems.”

Time and time again, I see on TV, hear on radio, or read on blogs and in newspapers countless “single moms by choice”, or politicians and or Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (Ohio CSEA) officials (speaking on behalf of single moms by choice) blame single or divorced dads for a child support mom’s woes.

Additionally, and what the public doesn’t know, is that in many of those same cases, those single moms by choice won’t “allow” the father of her children to see or talk to them. And that, only because she’s so full of unanswered hatred and vengeance towards him, that she’ll punish him to no end and at all costs for her problems and her miserable conditions that she alone created but blames him for, because she unilaterally kicked him out of his child’s life.

What these single child support moms by choice truly need to come to terms with for the sake of the innocent and precious children involved (who didn’t ask to be thrust into any of this, and thereby have their worlds turned upside down and destroyed) is this; she must learn to love her children more than she hates their father. Until she does so, the innocent children will continue to suffer, and she’ll be incapable of acting in the their best interests.

In closing, this post is not meant to “bash moms” nor is my intent to engage in misogyny, for I am not a misogynist. Rather, I am a voice for the truth.

Additionally, I am one who can’t no longer sit silently while countless good and loving fathers are turned into “paying visitors” of their own children, and through no choice nor fault of their own.

Many fathers didn’t ask, nor did they ever agree to have their children ripped out of their lives. In the process, they’re vilified and marginalized by the press, public, politicians, and most importantly, by the very mothers who for no good or justifiable reason (and often times out of nothing more than self-serving greed) decided one day that “her” children would henceforth be “fatherless.”

Therefore, a mother who unilaterally and out of her own self-serving, selfish and unjustifiable reasons decides to be a “single mom by choice” is anything but a heroine in my humble opinion, she is to the contrary; a villain.

The true heroes are the fathers who through no choice of their own, and despite being kicked out of their children’s lives, go to great lengths and facing near impossible odds, will stop at nothing in their efforts to somehow stay involved in the lives of their precious kids.

So the next time you’re in the grocery store or at the movies, a school function, or wherever you are; look around you and observe just how many single moms you see and consider how many of those “chose” (through an unjustifiable self-serving reason or reasons only) to be single moms. Trust me when I say that you’ll see few wedding bands.

Obviously, you won’t know the reasons why she’s single, but I can tell you that if she chose to be single through divorce , then statistically speaking, her reasons for doing so were probably self-serving ones.

Next, look at the children with those moms and consider that they’ll either grow up fatherless, or have very little contact with their fathers because in many cases mom (out of nothing more than her self-serving reasons) decided that “her” children aren’t going to see their father, and he won’t be a part of their lives as would the father to children of a mother who chose to marry or stay married.

Considering this, “Don’t try to make me the villain. It’s your own fault that you’re having these problems”, this, “What is a villain? In a general sense, they are those who oppose a hero,” this, “The definition of a wretch is, “: a miserable person : one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune,” and finally this, “A wretch is also a synonym for villain;” Is the single mom by choice as described herein in your opinion truly a heroine, or a villain?

Again, I do not direct what’s contained herein at widows or moms who really needed to divorce for good reason. What I’ve written is directed at “child support moms” and “single moms by choice” who are such without just cause.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

Posted in Child Support, Single Moms "by Choice", Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ohio Removes Web Pages after We’ve Linked to them

Please note that I’ve linked to various web pages on the State of Ohio’s web sites in many posts I’ve made to this blog.  I’m discovering that Ohio has since removed the specific portions (from their website) that I had referenced and discussed in many blog posts here, and that’s suspicious in  my humble opinion, and here’s why; rather than removing the entire web page itself, and as one might do when they’re redesigning their web site for example, the State of Ohio coincidentally only removed that to which I made references to.

For instance, in this post from May 27, 2009 about a cancer-fighting Ohio father being terribly abused by the Ohio “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio removed the links (and as I noted in the very lengthy Editor’s Note that I’ve used in this post) after I pointed out the disgusting truth of which they couldn’t deny. That being, “child support” has nothing to do with “the best interest of the children,” but rather everything to do with how Ohio will (and does) use every filthy and disgusting tactic that they can, to bleed “child support” paying mothers and fathers dry in Ohio’s efforts to maximize its profits on “child support” collections.

When it comes down to it, the abusive, contemptuous and hateful tactics that the CSEAs routinely engage in, and whereby they regularly force “child support” paying fathers into bankruptcy, homelessness, incarceration,  and into humiliating and degrading living conditions is bad enough; but what’s indescribably worse, is how the children of those same fathers suffer as my own daughter did and still does.

Many Ohio “child support” paying fathers go without heat during the winter months because they can’t afford to heat their homes, or their utilities are disconnected, and their precious and innocent children suffer as a result.

Many Ohio “child support” paying fathers have had their driver’s licenses suspended by the CSEA after they were laid off from their jobs in the worst economy since the Great Depression, so they can’t drive to see their children, and their precious and innocent children suffer as a result.

Many Ohio “child support” paying fathers have been incarcerated after they were laid off from their jobs in the worst economy since the Great Depression, because they “unwillingly” fell behind in their “child support” obligations. Since their children are the victims of their father’s “crimes” and the mother of the children won’t let the fathers talk to the children while he’s in jail, his children aren’t allowed to see or talk to their loving fathers, and their precious and innocent children suffer as a result.

Many Ohio “child support” paying fathers have been convicted of felonies after have been indicted by the Ohio CSEA after they were laid off from their jobs in the worst economy since the Great Depression, and therefore “unwillingly” fell behind in their “child support” obligations.

After they were released from jail, these same fathers with “child support” obligations couldn’t find a job with the new felony conviction that the CSEAs caused them to now have in their criminal records. With their new (CSEA caused) felony record, coupled with the economy as it is, chances are that they “won’t” find a job, and will for the second time be indicted by the CSEA.

Only this time, their criminal indictment will be under a more serious felony charge that carries more prison time than the first. Even worse, they’ll probably be declared “voluntarily under-employed” by the courts, and their precious and innocent children suffer as a result.

I could go on an on about how the children suffer as a direct result of this madness. But for now, suffice it to say that what I was linking to on Ohio’s web sites for all intents and purposes proved my Continue reading

Posted in Child Support, Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio CSEA Directors Association (OCDA), Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Repost of a My Response to Another Commenter’s Post

Below is my re-posted response to another commenter who posted here:

Given my situation has changed considerably since I made that original blog entry in August of 2008, I wanted to point out as I have below, that the State of Ohio as well as its 88 County Child Support Enforcement Agencies will stop at nothing in their quests to “earn” and maximize Ohio’s annual child support collections profit at the ‘expense’ of the best interest of Ohio’s precious children.

Now that I’ve gone from allegedly “having a child support arrears” to being nearly $8,000 overpaid in my “child support” obligation, you’ll see how Ohio stops at nothing to continue confiscating my money in her claims that it’s “in the best interest” of my precious ten year old daughter Maria:

As one who has lost everything as a direct result of a “child support” order, I can empathize with what you’ve expressed here.

All three of the homes I once owned went into foreclosure, and what I had left was eventually taken from me as described herein. I was on the verge of homelessness and had explained to my wife at one point that “we’ll probably have to live in a tent in the woods somewhere” after I lost my job through no fault of my own.

I lost the three homes I once owned and immediately went bankrupt after the Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) under the guise of “acting in the best interests of my daughter” began confiscating about $,1200 per month from my net pay for “child support.”

After a lifetime of perfect credit and after having built up an investment portfolio that included three homes and nearly $100,000 in securities, I filed for bankruptcy about four months after I was ordered to pay about $1,2000 per month (cash) in “child support” payments.

After that paycheck “deduction,” I could no longer afford to pay the mortgage on my principal residence. It was therefore foreclosed on, and we were evicted by a Hamilton County Sheriff’s Deputy while we were still trying to pack what was left of our belongings. We had sold much of what we had at yards sales (for pennies on the dollar) just to put food on the table after the Hamilton County Ohio CSEA seized $211 of my $422 per week unemployment check. I was left with about $844/mo to support my family when gasoline was over $4 per gallon.

Many of my daughter’s belongings (including her most sentimental and prized items) were left behind in that house because we HAD to leave shortly after the deputy arrived, or we’d face arrest.

Keep in mind, that this was all in the best interest of my daughter. How do I make that correlation? Easily; the State of Ohio argues that they seized $1,200 per month of my net pay for “child support” because it was “in the best interest” of my daughter Maria that said monies be seized from me, and turned over to her mother to “support her.”

Now given that that very seizure caused me to lose my home and most of my daughter’s possessions, it was obviously in her best interest using the State of Ohio’s “best interest” reasoning, or they never would have set my “child support” order so high that it bankrupted me right?

My freedom was lost; that, right after I was wrongfully incarcerated, strapped into a chair, and then violently beaten by Hamilton County Sheriff’s Deputies at the Hamilton County Justice Center after being taken into custody at gunpoint one day on a civil contempt warrant . A warrant that was issued (by the same court Continue reading

Posted in Child Support, Child Support Hurts, Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

This Site Continues to be Under Construction

To my valued readers,

Please be patient as I continue rebuilding and redesigning the blog. My first concern is restoring all posts from the past. That effort continues, and I’ll hopefully be completed within two weeks. Additionally, other changes will continue so as to restore the old look that you’re familiar with, and to add additional features as well.

As explained in an earlier post, I was essentially unable to rebuild the sites due to not having high speed internet access for nearly two years. That has now changed, and I therefore look forward to returning to my public advocacy on behalf of not only all noncustodial parents (NCPs), but most importantly that on behalf of our defenseless and beloved children, those who are most abused at the hands of Ohio’s Child Support Enforcement Agency of our children.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

Posted in Notifications about Website and Blog Updates Issues and Changes, Uncategorized | Comments Off on This Site Continues to be Under Construction

There are Hundreds of Thousands of Others Living Your Nightmare

It is my opinion that a phrase that keeps repeating is a phrase that should be written about. For those living the nightmare as that of a beaten down, tired, and financially ruined non-custodial parent (NCP) repeat the following simple but powerful phrases until you believe them: “I’m not alone,” “this is real,” “I’m not crazy,” “there is hope.”

The majority of Ohio Council For Fathers Rights (OCFFR) members I have spoken to are so relieved after they tell me, “I thought I was the only one.” I can almost feel their relief as soon as their burden is lifted.

Common phrases that follow are, “I thought I was going crazy,” “I began to wonder if it was real,” “I kept hoping I’d wake up.” Trust me when I tell you, “I’ve been there.” For three and one half years I too thought, “I was the only one.” Phrases such as, “You must have done something to make the judge mad,” “I’ve never heard of anything like this before,” “you have to be exaggerating” were uttered repeatedly by those who didn’t understand.

How else could Ohio make hundreds of millions of dollars annually in profits off of child support collections and foster care? You read that correctly, Ohio EARNS A PROFIT off of a child who is torn away from their family then placed in foster care.

By demonizing Dads with their annual “Deadbeat Dad” roundups and their endless child support “Most Wanted” posters, Ohio has managed to deceive the public for more than a decade as they raked in what I suspect is billions of dollars in profits. This while foster children like Marcus Fiesel were being murdered, and as Dads across Ohio were committing suicide out of “hope.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Fiesel

I challenge anyone around the world reading this to disprove my contention that it is all about the money one when considers the following: Why doesn’t Ohio have annual child molester roundups, why not annual rapists roundups, or how about annual child pornographer roundups?

It’s simple, protecting Ohio children from child molesters and child pornographers doesn’t generate hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue as does mining the pockets of a man who dared to become a Father. Next, they incarcerate him for being a “deadbeat” after they’ve bankrupted him.

I am not, by any means marginalizing the unimaginable horrors experienced by children when demented adults prey upon and victimize them. However, when Ohio decimates countless lives under their false mantra, “it’s in the best interest of the children” as their lying CSEA employees cause another innocent man to be sent to prison, someone needs to start asking some questions.

Mislabeling a Father who lost his job as a “deadbeat” and plastering his face on wanted posters and billboards across the state are in a child’s best interests, when there are most likely wanted sex offenders on fugitive warrant lists who may offend again before they are apprehended?

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council For Fathers Rights

Posted in Child Support, Child Support Hurts, Suicide, This is in the "Best Interests of the Children?", Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

All Previous Posts will be Restored

Please continue to check this blog as about 140 previous posts will be restored over the next few weeks. Additionally, I will be blogging regularly once again.

Unfortunately, my daughter and I are not immune to the horrors of “Family Court.” That said, I was forced to move 530 miles away from my precious daughter in November of 2008 so as to obtain employment and thereby continue paying “child support.”

Given I’d lost my job in Ohio through no fault of my own and due to the actions of the Court itself, my choice was to accept a job out-of-state, or ultimately be indicted for felony criminal non-support of a minor child in Ohio after my unemployment ran out.

After I moved, I cried regularly because I missed my beloved daughter Maria. However, a felony indictment for criminal non-support and the ensuing felony conviction would have assuredly resulted in my incarceration. That of course would have been “in the best interests” of my daughter to “punish me” with debtors prison.

Unfortunately, where I moved did not have high-speed internet, hence my ability to update my websites and continue my efforts on behalf of Ohio’s fathers and their children was essentially paralyzed for nearly two years. That’s not to say I wasn’t working in the background, I was; however, I was forced (for the most part) to abandon my public efforts to expose the absolute evil (driven by nothing more than Ohio’s greed) that drives the Ohio’s 88 (one per county) Child Support Enforcement Agencies to wrongfully incarcerate and hatefully abuse jobless Ohio fathers for non-payment of their “child-support” obligations in the worst economy since the Great Depression.

Ohio’s unemployment rate is nearly 10%. More and more fathers are turning to “garbage picking” to support their children because Continue reading

Posted in Notifications about Website and Blog Updates Issues and Changes, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Job Seeking Ohio Father Fears Felony Indictment for Being Unemployed

At a fatherhood summit in Ohio about 18 months ago, I unleashed a verbal tirade directed
at Ohio’s Deputy Child Support Director at that time.

I demanded an immediate moratorium on Ohio’s felony indictment of fathers for criminal
nonsupport. That, until reasonable statutes were written and in place.

I argued in part that indicting and convicting good fathers on felony criminal nonsupport
charges would forever ruin the careers (and lives) of many, and that they’d face
perpetual incarceration as a result.

Despite the politicians and judicial officials in attendance witnessing the standing
ovation and thunderous applause in support of my words, I like probably everyone else,
knew that my demands would go no further than did those words from my mouth.

In reference to the email below, I’m unaware of the charges resulting in that father’s
prior felony convictions, but from a white collar employment perspective, it wouldn’t

Many white-collared fathers like me would be in the same position as the one below if we
had criminal felony nonsupport convictions. Most white-collar employers don’t
differentiate between felony convictions for the purposes of employment. A felony is a
felony, period.

I suspect his story moves me as it does given that my own “felony deadbeat clock” was
ticking, and a felony indictment encroaching, when I was unemployed. This when my
previous employer fired me after the Fugitive Warrant Unit attempted to execute a civil
warrant for my arrest (for civil contempt) at work.

I’ll never understand society’s depraved contempt towards fathers, but emails like the
following remind me that it’s why I’ll forever fight against the unconscionable madness
that’s driving our corrupted “Family Court” system.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

“I grew up without a father. It’s because every child deserves to have a loving father in their life that I’m compelled to do this.”
-Tony Fantetti

Date: Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:44:00 -0800 [11/24/2009 04:44:00 PM PST]
From: xxxxxxxxx
To: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org
Subject: help me please

I am ordered to pay child support on my two twin sons… whom were taken from me by their mother (my ex girlfriend) and never returned. I unfortunately have multiple felony
convictions on my record and cannot find a job in ohio period. I am way way behind in
child support and feel that they will soon come to get me. I am caught in a catch 22. I
went to the domestic relations building in my area to retrieve a so-called list of
employers that will hire felons… and when i got that list it was old, outdated, and
most of the places that did exist on the form… were simply ‘NOT HIRING’ …
what do i do?
If i can’t find work, how do I pay anything?

Posted in Child Support, Employment and Unemployment, These are "Deadbeats?", Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Job Seeking Ohio Father Fears Felony Indictment for Being Unemployed

Blogging about Ohio’s Increasingly Abusive and Deceptive “Child Support” Enforcement Agency

Please accept my humble apology for the excessively lengthy lapse in blogging. Please know that my efforts to expose the heartless and deviant corruption of Ohio’s child support system does and will continue on behalf of all fathers and children.

This is a system, whereby the lives of hundreds of thousands of precious and innocent Ohio children are decimated and callously destroyed. Why? Only so that Ohio can “profit” in excess of hundreds of millions of dollars annually from their Title IV federal incentive matches on its statewide “child support” collections that are funded by your social security tax dollars.

My public efforts have been atypically quiet for the past six months, but privately, I’ve continued to record and document the atrocities of not only the Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) but all of Ohio’s 88 county CSEAs. More of these tragic stories (mine included) will be publicly disclosed at the appropriate time.

The heartbreaking and hair-curling tales of horror, describing Ohio’s financial and emotional war that’s continually waged against fathers through the 88 “child support” enforcement agencies continue pouring in daily. The only difference is our ability to intervene as we have in the past.

Sadly, if more of you would only listen then act, we could force change sooner rather than later. As I’ve explained to countless fathers, you “must” learn, understand, and practice the law as veracious and fearless pro se litigants. The Ohio Administrative Code and the Ohio Revised Code are what more fathers must understand and argue to be a force that others fear a courtroom reckoning with.

More of you must step up and file civil suits against those incarnates of the system such as the custody “investigators” and CSEA case workers. This, to exact your righteous vengeance through a civil action from those who’ve wrongfully and unjustly brought great harm upon you and your beloved children through their haughty and arrogant wantonness in their quest to enrich Ohio’s “child support” profit at the expense of our children’s best interests.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

“I grew up without a father. It’s because every child deserves to have a loving father in their life that I’m compelled to do this.”
-Tony Fantetti

Posted in Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Blogging about Ohio’s Increasingly Abusive and Deceptive “Child Support” Enforcement Agency

Could Ohio be Incarcerating Unemployed Fathers for a Profit

How many more fathers who’ve lost their jobs through no fault of their own will the State of Ohio indict, arrest, and incarcerate for “felony” criminal nonsupport of a minor child?

Is jailing an innocent child’s father, and thereby separating that child from their father really in a child’s best interest?

Of course not, then why would Ohio jail unemployed fathers who want to but “can’t” pay their child support?

It’s simple; the State of Ohio “profits” off of every father’s “child support” payments through a kickback called a “federal incentive match” under Social Security’s Title IV D Program.

For example, in 2003 alone the Title IV Program “paid” Ohio (with federal dollars) $223 MILLION in “profits” for its statewide child support collections.

By jailing indigent,unemployed, good and loving fathers, Ohio is causing large arrears for fathers to further “profit” off of. In some cases, and quite tragically, fathers will be paying his “child support” arrears for life.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

Posted in Incarceration and Prison, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cuyahoga County Ohio CSEA is Confiscating Cancer-Fighting Fathers Income

1/2/11 EDITOR’S NOTE: Please note that the State of Ohio has removed their website links that I’ve referenced in the previously published article below.

This is not uncommon for them to do, as they regularly remove web pages on their sites after I’ve linked to them and pointed out the obvious; that they (the State of Ohio) care nothing about the Ohio fathers and the children thereof (whom they purport to be acting only in the “best interest of”) when they financially decimate a father’s life with these unbearable and often times bankrupting (as was mine) “child support” orders. Orders that force many fathers into homeless, and as a result, their children (that Ohio claims to be protecting) may never see them again.

It’s very important to understand what I’m pointing out herein; that being, when you hear the stories of fathers who claim to only have for instance only $50 per week left to support themselves after their weekly “child support” deduction, they are being 100% truthful and forthcoming in saying that.

If you are a minimum wage earning or low wage earning father, and 65% of your weekly net income is being seized by one of Ohio’s CSEAs under the guise of “child support”, it’s easy to prove the absolute truth and reality behind what I’m saying.

For instance, suppose a father earns $10 per hour and works 40 hours per week. That’s a gross weekly pay of $400. Now deduct from that gross pay about 40% for the following: state, local, and federal income tax, union dues, and deductions for medical insurance coverage that the father is almost always required to provide; that’s
$400 x .40% = $160. $400 – $160 = $240 per week left after taxes. Now, using these two CSEA documents Employer Fact Sheet Instructions and the OCDA Multi Order Calculator Flyer you multiply the 65% that the CSEA happily seizes from a father’s net pay (the maximum allowed under federal law as explained in their own documents, and so they can maximize Ohio’s share of the Federal Incentive Match) we have $240 x .65% = $156 deducted out of that father’s pay for “child support.”

So what does Dad have left for himself to pay rent, put gas in his car (assuming he still has one) at $3.25/gallon, buy food, pay for utilities, buy clothes, purchase his necessary medications (insulin for diabetes etc), buy clothes, and most importantly, buy things that he so desperately wants to for his children or himself, or to give them their weekly allowance and lunch food money?

Let’s see, taking his $240 net weekly pay (from above) and subtracting the 65% seized for “child support” we have $240 – $156 = $84; EIGHTY FOUR DOLLARS is what’s left for this father to support himself. Tell me, please, can “you” live off of $84 per week or $336 per month? You should be able to, according to the State of Ohio, as there are many Ohio father’s “living” off of that and much less. Not only couldn’t Ohio care less, they’d take more money (in fact all of it) if they could! Please know that I’m being neither facetious or sarcastic in saying that.

That said, the two aforementioned documents provided by Kim Newsom-Bridges’ Ohio Child Support Directors Association (OCDA) are in reality, are a perfect example of how Ms. Newsom-Bridges’ agency is only acting in the best financial interest of the State of Ohio. To understand that, you must first understand that it’s ultimately her agency’s responsibility to maximize Ohio’s profit off of its annual statewide “child support” collections. Said profit is earned from the Title IV Federal Incentive Match, a match that’s ultimately calculated using the amounts (the higher the amount of “child support” that’s seized as explained, the higher is Ohio’s “profit” she “earns”) in the documents I linked to above.

We hear so often in the media that after a divorce, father’s “live the high life” while the mothers (who in most cases, and statistically speaking divorced him) and children suffer immensely. Clearly, that’s not true. That’s a wholesale lie that continues to be “media-fed” to a largely very naive public, and is designed for only one purpose; to demonize fathers and thereby distract the public from the reality that Kim Newsom-Bridges’ Ohio “Child Support” Director’s Association (OCDA) is instructing Ohio’s 88 County “Child Support” Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs) how to force employers to bankrupt fathers and thereby and in some cases force them into homelessness for the sole purpose of maximizing Ohio’s profit that’s earned on it’s annual statewide “child support” collections from the Federal Incentive Match Program under Title IV D E of the Social Security Act.

Although I do want to clarify what I said in the first line of the preceding paragraph. Children are harmed by their father’s financially unbearable “child support” orders where in most cases it’s never proven in court that the father even had the ability to pay in the first place. Children are harmed when their fathers are bankrupted, driven into homelessness by their “child support” order, they’re harmed when their dad loses his job through no fault of his own, and then the State of Ohio (to punish the father) suspends that father’s professional and drivers licenses so he can’t find a job, and because he “couldn’t” pay his “child support” obligation after he lost his last; additionally, they are harmed when their fathers have no license and no money to drive and “visit” their children, the children are harmed when their fathers have no money left to spend as they see fit on their children. I could go on and on, and will in a future post, because the truth must be told.

As Ms. Newsom-(or perhaps Newsance?) Bridges says in the very first paragraph in the linked to “Multi Order Calculator PDF file above”:

“Often times, employees who owe child support have more than 1 case. Or, employees do not earn enough to cover their entire support obligation without exceeding the *Consumer Credit Protection Act (CCPA). This can be confusing and difficult for employers to calculate!”

Ohh to the dastardly Ms. Newsance-Bridges, “don’t just the darnedest things (such as federal law) get in the way of you seizing a father’s entire paycheck???”


The Ohio Father’s email copied below is beyond sickening. It’s further proof that Ohio’s Child Support Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs) couldn’t care less about the best interests of our children, while their profits on Title-IV child support collections remain their primary interest.

I am no longer shocked by the atrocities committed against Ohio Fathers by the CSEA’s in their relentless quest to seize up to 65% (the most allowed under Ohio law) of a Father’s monthly “gross” income, while forcing these same Fathers to live in poverty with their children. Keep in mind that the aforementioned 65% is calculated off of their gross monthly income, but taken out of their net monthly pay after they’ve paid the taxes on the money.

“The Federal Consumer Protection Act (CCPA) (15 U.S.C. 1673(b)), sets the maximum amount that may be withheld from an employee’s paycheck. The federal withholding limits for child support and alimony are based on the Aggregate Disposable Weekly Earnings (ADWE) of the employee. The ADWE is calculated by taking the employee’s gross earnings (wages, bonuses, commissions and pensions) and subtracting taxes and mandatory retirement deductions. Health insurance premiums, union dues, other child support garnishments and money owed to the employer are not deductible when determining the ADWE. Ohio law requires that this maximum be followed.

The federal CCPA limit is 50 percent of the ADWE if the employee supports a second family and 60 percent if the employee does not support a second family.

This limit increases to 55 percent and 65 percent respectively if the employee owes arrearages that are 12 weeks or more past due.”

As disgusting as it is, the ODJFS admits that sometimes a Father’s Continue reading

Posted in Child Support, Cuyahoga County Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses, Ohio CSEA Directors Association (OCDA), These are "Deadbeats?", Unconscionable Child Support Horror Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Can I Stop my Ex from Moving my Daughter to Florida without my Consent

A Father emailed the following to me:

“I need help with my custody case. My ex is moving to Florida without my consent. She has full custody of our daughter. How do I go about changing this?”

Legal Disclaimer: First and foremost, understand that I am not an attorney, I do not offer legal advice, nor should anything I say on any of my websites be construed as legal advice. That said, I have been involved in hundreds of cases, and confronted numerous attorneys regarding their ineptitude and damaging advice whereby they had the audacity to charge others for the “favor” of harming them.

Out of the entire state of Ohio, I will only recommend one attorney to Fathers and will gladly disclose his name if you simply request it via email. With that, I will proceed to offer you my opinion.

Your situation is not unique, many mothers, and out of nothing more than sheer vindictive hatefulness and without any regard for the best interest of the children will take the child and move them away from the father merely to punish him. It goes without saying that a normal, loving mother who does not suffer from mental illness wouldn’t dream of doing such a terrible thing to a Father, and even worse, to her own children.

The rare exception would be when it’s necessary to do so to protect the child from abuse. However, the radical feminists falsely claim that women do not batter men, and would never disclose the following “FACT:” In 39% of domestic violence cases, males were murdered by females. For more information about domestic violence where women are the perpetrators, please read this post.

Regarding your ex taking your daughter to Florida, It’s hard for me to address your options without knowing the stipulations that were written into your decree. Or, if you weren’t married, your “visitation” schedule, assuming that you have one. Regardless, I’d start saying my goodbyes to my daughter, and if she’s old enough, formulate ways whereby she can contact you.

Please understand that I do not say that to be insensitive, or “cold” towards you, I say that because you are a Father, and many mothers, judges, and magistrates view us as nothing more than an ATM machines, and therefore incapable of playing a meaningful role in our children’s lives. With that, it’s doubtful that the court will be overly concerned about you losing contact with your daughter.

Even if your decree or some other court order prohibited your ex Continue reading

Posted in Custody Issues, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Can I Stop my Ex from Moving my Daughter to Florida without my Consent

Why are you Selling my Bicycle Daddy?

Throughout the summer, we held yard sales (aka “junk” sales) to raise money for basic necessities. Things such as utilities, food and gas could not be purchased without us selling our prized possessions for pennies on the dollar.

Up for sale, was my daughter’s brand new bike that I had I given her for Christmas last year. My daughter (Maria), taken aback that her shiny new bicycle was being sold, asked “why are you selling my bike Daddy, I love it!” “I don’t want you to sell it” she further pleaded.

I explained that it was necessary to sell things that we wanted to keep, but had to sell because we needed “extra” money to “do things” (like eat). I promised her that I would buy her an even better bike to make it up to her. “Is that okay honey?” “Yes, Daddy.”

For an eight year old, my daughter’s perception and analytical skills are impressive to say the least. Shortly after turning five, she informed me that “I don’t have an opinion” and that “the judge tells you what your opinion is Daddy!” That was in response to me trying to “explain away” why I wasn’t allowed to keep her home from school, but mom was.

Understand, she perceived my “lack of opinion” not based merely on things she was told (I go out of my way to protect her from this ugliness), but rather, based on what she’s witnessed with her own eyes. She followed the aforementioned up with “how come no one else in the family has to listen to what the judge says daddy? How come only you have to do what the judge says? How come everyone else in the family can do whatever they want and you can’t?”

Following that barrage of questions, and after I retrieved my jaw from the floor, I could only mutter “Because that’s the way it is” as I was thinking, “it’s because I’m a father and were all playing a game called “Family Court.”” Family Court is better known as the final sequel to Family Feud, and whose brutal episodes can run in excess of 18 years. Richard Dawson is replaced by the Judge as the show’s host in “Family Court.” Moreover, instead of the game being played on TV, it’s played in a court room. Another big difference between Family Feud and Family Court, is that in the Family Court game, the rules only apply to Fathers, and you’re never told what the rules are. It’s a challenge to say the least! Can’t say I know anyone who has won yet.

An unintentional rule violation (also known as a “contempt”) by a Father in Family Court can have severe consequences such as 30,60 or 90 days incarceration. Following his release, he’s “invited” back on the show and told not to worry about what happened. Continue reading

Posted in Child Support Hurts, Employment and Unemployment, Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), These are "Deadbeats?", This is in the "Best Interests of the Children?", Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why are you Selling my Bicycle Daddy?

Please Contact Ohio Governor Ted Strickland to Support Fathers4Justice Protestors Atop Crane

Dear friends and fellow advocates of Ohio Council for Fathers Rights,

Please contact Governor Strickland’s office through phone, fax, the internet, (please see
the link below for submitting comments via the internet) and email to respectfully insist
that the Fathers4Justice members (Ohio’s Paul Fisher and California’s Donald Tenn)
demands be met. I have provided all of the necessary contact information below.

Your comments can be submitted through the Governor’s website here:


That’s the same link as the one below. Encourage out-of-state friends, fellow activists
(nationally and internationally) to submit their comments via the aforementioned link.
Ohio residents should disclose their addresses.

For those of you on the distribution list who are heads of FRA and MRA organizations,
especially those of you in the Ohio Practitioners Network for Fathers and Families, we
need to capitalize on F4J’s media attention.

F4J has focused the national media on our state, we should dutifully respond with the
necessary pressure on Governor Strickland’s office to investigate their allegations.

Please remind your members to remain courteous and respectful in their request for an
inquiry to address Paul’s and Donald’s concerns.

Please forward this email to anyone who would be willing to petition Governor
Strickland’s office on behalf of Ohio’s noncustodial fathers, by utilizing the following
contact information:

Ohio Governor Ted Strickland’s Contact Information

To submit comments via the Internet


Governor’s Office
Riffe Center, 30th Floor
77 South High Street
Columbus, OH 43215-6108


General Info: (614) 466-3555
Fax: (614) 466-9354


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council For Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Fathers Rights Advocates Organizations and Advocacy, Uncategorized | Comments Off on Please Contact Ohio Governor Ted Strickland to Support Fathers4Justice Protestors Atop Crane

Mere Misandry or Incredibly Fantastic Lies Indicative of Delutionary Lunacy

The following is undoubtedly the most lying and deceptive website (describing America’s Family Courts) I’ve ever come across. I believe one should choose their battles wisely. That said, there are incredibly talented people in the likes of Glenn Sacks, Stephen Baskerville and others who easily discredit the baseless illogical and mindless arguments that misandrists such as NOW and others pollute society with.

With that, I’ll leave those arguments in the hands of those such as the aforementioned to make mince-meat of the hateful ideologies espoused by radical feminists aka “radfems.” Nevertheless, I’m obligated in the name of intelligence to dutifully discredit the outright lies found on “Custody Preparation for Moms” website.

Not wanting to infringe upon their “copyrighted” lies, understand that what I have in quotes is from the “land of delusional thinking.” Admittedly, and what could be regrettably, I am going to walk a fine line of professionalism as I pick through their garbage aka intellectually-founded “information.”

“Roughly 80% of divorces in our country involve uncontested custody determinations in which both parties agree it is best for the children to reside primarily with their mother in her continued primary care-taking role. It is the other 20% of contested custody cases that this website addresses. -Source- Custody Preparation for Moms Website

FACT: This isn’t just patently false. To elaborate on what their “factual claim” does to me mentally, picture this. You’re at the zoo with your children in the ape house and you witness the most disgusting…forget it…

In short, these liars claim that in 80% of divorces nationwide, fathers say to the mothers, “You know, you’re right, I’m an incompetent dolt and therefore unable to parent my own children. Please save me from myself, rescue us all by taking custody, and I’ll file for bankruptcy after you take everything and I pay you 65% (or more) of my monthly income for the next 18-25 years. Please bring the children to visit me when I’m living in a homeless camp by the river.”

It gets worse. These superior beings are only addressing the “other 20%” where a father doesn’t say, “please kick me out of the house, bankrupt me, steal my children, and steal my income for the next quarter century sweetie.” Ya think they have “anything” to lose by fighting? That said, one can logically conclude from their website that only mothers should have custody, and in “only” 100% of cases nationwide. Pass the Kool Aid. I understand why those who wrote this are single moms.

Because of the pervasiveness of family violence in our country and the astounding nationwide system failure of our family courts to protect women and child victims, much of this sites’ focus is on assisting and educating protective mothers. -Source- Custody Preparation for Moms Website

FACT: It’s the psychotic people such as yourselves that fathers are literally dying in their attempts to save their children from. Statistically speaking, and in Family Court cases, it’s “routine” and considered modus operandi for those “20% of women” who couldn’t convince their ex’s that they weren’t as stupid as what you portray yourself to be, that women are advised by attorneys, to make false domestic violence allegations. This of course is against the father so as to gain the custody advantage that the 80% of Moms you speak of didn’t need because “everyone agreed” dad=bad, mom=good.

In almost every state of the union, including Alaska where your repulsive site is being hosted, to “make a father disappear,” only the following must take place. All a woman must do is call the police (and even “without” all the drama where you pretend to cry and sob and weep) say, “my husband threatened to kill me.”

That father will be arrested at gunpoint, jailed, and his children prevented from seeing him for months. I’ve had those shotgun barrels pointing at the back of my head while I ate concrete. God forbid anyone besides myself consider what a house full of gun-drawn police did to traumatize my daughter.

Yet you are too dense to even begin to fathom the permanent psychological damage you will cause your children just to enable you to be a retired “child support mom.” You are despicable, vile and an insult to good mothers around the world. Stop the financial nursing at the breast of your ex, get out and work like the rest of us, and get some much-needed psychological help. Why don’t you post some incontrovertible and unbiased statistical data to support such absurdity? Is it because you can’t back your baseless, depraved, lying and self-proclaimed “facts” up?

“Studies show batterers are able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases.” (American Judges Association)
-Source- Custody Preparation for Moms Website

FACT: Lets start with the American Judges Association website whose “fact” you attempt to portray as proven and an indictment of fathers. Let’s be honest with ourselves, since you proclaim that your website is to assist battered women (which by the way is a true insult and disservice to women who are truly being battered) one can logically conclude that you are inferring that only men are batterers, and that in “70% of challenged cases” these “male” (it is male, correct?) batterers convinced authorities that the victim (you would have us presume that’s always a woman, correct?) is unfit or undeserving of sole custody.

Since as you claim 80% of fathers nationally admitted they were inept dolts and said, “I can’t have custody, because I’m just as stupid as the people whose website claims 80% of us really said this”, that leaves us 70% of the 20%. I’m sorry, I know your feeble mind is smoking from the confusion…(“Hey Spongebob, how can there only be 70% of 20% when there’s still 30% of 100% left?”). Forget it, the fact remains, we have only 14% who don’t “necessarily” get custody, they just convince “authorities” of the rightful fact that their ex’s are the incarnate of your type. This of course is according to your “statistic” that was only a “quote” that didn’t cite a source as its reference, on the aforementioned website.

Nonetheless, what’s the point of your illogical inference? It makes no sense. Is your point to mislead ignorant people into believing that 70% of batters are men? Not only that, these same “batterers” “get custody” 70% of the time?

If you read the first paragraph on this page, it clearly refers to both male AND “female” perpetrators.

Speaking of the “American Judges Association” as if the word judge automatically infers intelligence, why didn’t you cite this page, where it says and in reference to batterers “…and 39% were men killed by their female partners” in the very last sentence of the last paragraph.

You are of those type who have decimated the lives of men and children in my organization, whereby we attempt to pick up the pieces of shattered lives. This, while you drink your beer, do your drugs, and spend “your children’s” child support dollars on yourselves. Sadly, I firmly believe that children with mothers such as you who espouse such lies would be better off if you met your maker.

Would they be devastated? Most likely, they are innocent children and I’m sure they love you. However, that devastation is rendered insignificant by the tremendous amount of permanent psychological you have done and will continue to do to your children in your quest to protect your child support pipeline. This, whereby YOU spend child support payments intended for them, on YOUR lifestyle. Your children will for the rest of their lives have to contend with the emotional damage you caused them through your selfish greed.

Do mothers around the world a tremendous service by removing your “copyrighted” lying trash from the information superhighway. It’s the likes of you who have given good moms bad names. It’s the likes of you who cause good moms, “deserving” of more child support to live in poverty because they feel bad about taking money from their children’s father. Much needed money that the father wouldn’t miss, and would surely provide for a better life with their mothers.

How ironic. Today, I saw a woman in a gas station parking lot who looked familiar. She was well-dressed, but I could tell she didn’t have money. Then it hit me, it was she with whom I pleaded with to allow me to intervene on her behalf and seek more child support form her truly “deadbeat” ex. I gave her my card and repeatedly asked her to call me and she never did. When I explained to her why she deserved to receive more child support (as her utilities were being repeatedly disconnected) she said, “I just feel bad,” to which I countered, if any mother deserves more child support, it’s you. PLEASE call me.”

Sent by email to:staff2@custodyprepformoms.org
WARNING: Send only mail which is pertinent to this web site. E-mail which is unsolicited and which is not related to women in child custody litigation or corresponding issues will be considered spam and handled accordingly.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Misandry, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Email Submission: My Ex is Withholding Visitation what can I do?


I could write a book as an answer to “What can I do?” Regardless, the outcome in each and every situation could possibly be the same, nothing changes.

Nevertheless, you are in the exact same situation as **** ** ** **** *** **** ***** *** ****** **** ***.

Document the dates and times she withholds visitation. Note the dates and times of your calls to her. Since she will call you a liar (in court) I would have the cell phone bills with me (I would call from a cell phone and leave voice mails so as to have a record as proof) of the dates and times and call duration

I would call the police ( I don’t know if ****** police will assist, but in Cincinnati they do) and request a police escort to pick your children up. I would go regardless of whether or not I thought she was there, if that’s where you are supposed to pick up your children. By having a Police escort, you have an unbiased witness. I assume she’s hit you with false Domestic Violence (DV) allegations considering that you mentioned a restraining order. If she’s vindictive and hateful enough to keep her children from their father, she’ll falsely accuse you of DV. Therefore, I would also buy a digital voice recorder and have it recording whenever you must interact, it could save you from another false DV charge. Been there, done that.

I’d subpoena the Police Officers to my contempt hearing and instruct them to bring their duty sheets (3 copies) in the subpoena.

If it were me, I’d file a Motion for Contempt for violating the “visitation” schedule (It’s amazing that we fathers are regarded as nothing more than paying visitors (through child support) of our own children) and a supplemental motion to Define (or Redefine) Visitation. Since the court will most likely cringe at actually sanctioning a mother for her unconscionable child abuse whereby she withholds visitation out of her self-serving hatred of the father, and with no regard for how she’s emotionally damaging her own children, expect the contempt motion to go nowhere.

If you don’t know how to represent yourself in court and you don’t have an endless stream of money, I’d start teaching myself law if I were you. If you have money I can recommend an excellent attorney out of Maineville. He doesn’t pull punches, and his admirable and highly respected reputation is known down into Florida.

Moreover, please consider making a donation as well. I don’t charge a membership fee, and I cannot continue to give my time to those who aren’t willing to assist me as well. I will answer a question or two, but cannot proceed after that as the emails are incessant. More importantly, I implore you to become involved in Ohio Council for Fathers Rights. I do not charge a membership fee.

Please visit our blog at http://www.ocffr.org/blog and encourage others to do so as well. Help us to continue growing by telling others about us.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

name = K*** *****
email = *************.com
phone = ***-***-****
comments = I need an aggressive attorney so that I can see my kids. My X is with-holding visitation and all she has to do is say that I can get them if I just call when we go to court and they don’t do anything to help. It’s not in my decree that I have to call because I had a restraining order at the time and because she harasses me whenever I do call and then doesn’t show up with the kids. What can I do?

Posted in Custody Issues, The Voices of Others, Uncategorized, Visitation | Comments Off on Email Submission: My Ex is Withholding Visitation what can I do?

My Reply to an OCFFR Member Regarding the Trajectory of my Life

Hello David,

I laughed when I read this, “Hopefully, the trajectory of your life has assumed a more positive course.” You have an artistic way with words.

I have a POD out back that I must load what’s left of belongings into. This, with a bad hernia, and a large splinter lodged in my left middle finger. It completely pierced it, but broke off inside when I attempted to pull it all the way through. I need surgery for both, but being penniless, unemployed, uninsured, and having destroyed credit doesn’t bode well with doctors you are asking for surgery on credit. Go figure…

At 41, and as a married man, I must move in with my oldest sister. How degrading.

My Motion to Modify (to reduce), and that was pending before the court for more than two years was denied. Now there’s a surprise huh? Even more comical, my ex’s (Motion to Modify, and raise of course) was granted under the exact same circumstances.

I filed an 11 page objection to the Magistrate’s decision. This, after spending days (literally) reading through appellate decisions. I absolutely ripped his “Findings of Fact.” This, considering they had nothing to do with the trial that I attended and therefore argued at. I equally shredded his baseless Conclusions of Law, and just stopped short of outright calling him a liar.

What the hell is he going to do to me, rule against me? As if that would be any different than the last 37 of 38 rulings? I’ve actually skipped trials in his court room and started my defense with Objections to the Magistrates Decision. How’s that for advanced trial techniques?

When I came in for a hearing on my pending 60B, I asked the Magistrate for a continuance given his latest decision. I advised him that after more than four years of his discrimination against me, I would be filing a Motion to Recuse very soon.

That said, I told him that if he hears my 60B, I would expect him to continue his discrimination against me and make the same rulings. {redacted}After my ex asked him what that was he said, he thinks that the court is biased against him. I’ve been doing this long enough he probably wants Judge {redacted} and myselfoff of this case.” He then looks at me and says, “Am I correct, you want Judge {redacted} and I to recuse ourselves?” I was shocked when this clown was offended after I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Just you your Honor.{redacted}

I thought he was going to cry. If he denies the motion to recuse, I’ll sue him, then refile. By the time my civil case gets dismissed due to his absolute judicial immunity, I’ll refile and be heard on my 2nd motion to recuse.

He can’t be hearing cases against me if he’s a Defendant in my lawsuit. Rest assured I’ll do my best to have him served at home and at work (in chambers) by the sheriff’s department.

Nevertheless, I truly find humor in your well-intended comment. But considering this black cloud that my life plays out in, I merely roll with the punches and simply laugh.

I “took a few months off” only from addressing the membership. Needed a vacation from the ongoing insanity. {redacted}

Would you mind sending me a copy of your appeal and supporting brief? I’d love to read it.

It was wonderful hearing from you brother, you’ll be hearing from me more. Don’t forget to visit the Blog, I cut loose there once in a while. You might find some humor in that.


Tony Fantetti

Quoting David :

Greetings Tony,

Thank-you for the e-mail; it’s good to know your back up and
swinging. Hopefully, the trajectory of your life has assumed a more
positive course. The *** District has yet to rule on my case, and
I’m beginning to fear that, even though I believe I’ve buried the
other side’s anemic arguments, the jurists of the *** District
(with a single exception, they are all women) are straining to
figure out a way to award my ex child support she’s not entitled to,
but, whatever they do, at least this mess will eventually be over.
In any case, I do hope all is well with you; please be well and take

All the best,

—– Original Message —–
From: Tony Fantetti
To: Sandra Ali ; Assignment Desk Fox News 19 Assignment Desk Fox
News 19 ; James Beaty ; Lauren Bercarich ; bob ; Assignment Desk
Channel 9 WCPO ; Brennan Donnellan ; Jessica Donnellon ; Brian
Duerring ; Richard dyer ; Todd Dykes ; Eric Flack ; FOX NEWS Channel
19 FOX NEWS Channel 19 ; frobinson@tribune-chronicle.com ; Courtis
Fuller ; Michelle George ; Clyde Gray ; Brian Hamrick ; Jonathan
Hawgood ; Laura Hornsby ; Angela Ingram ; jdonnellon@wkrc.com ;
jgoodall@tribune-chronicle.com ; jhawgood@hearst.com ;
jlondon@channelcincinnati.com ; Karin Johnson ; Hagit Lamor ; Shaun
Ley ; John London ; Jim Long ; lsolley@tribune-chronicle.com ; Wendy
McElroy ; Peter Mekeel ; Matt Miller ; Michael Moely ; Bob Morford ;
Jay Murdock ; Kim Newsom Bridges ; Bill Oreilly ; Lauren Pack ;
Sheree Paolello ; Bill Price ; Laure Quinlivan ; Ernest Schreiber ;
Josh Sweigart ; tom ; vindy news ; Amy Wagner ; Jay Warren ; Daniel
Cc: Cari Brown ; steve killpack ; Mike McCormick ; Wendy McElroy ;
Ohio Practitioners’ Network for Fathers and Family ; g ratliff ;
David Rose ; Glenn Sacks ; JOEL SCHINKE ; Jeff Startzman ;
webmaster@dadsohio.com ; Yirmeyh Yisrael
Sent: Saturday, September 27, 2008 7:48 PM
Subject: Fathers4Justice Activists Atop 100 Foot Crain in Columbus Ohio

Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2008 18:40:10 -0400 [03:40:10 PM PDT]
From: Robert Pedersen
To: Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Donald Tenn is a man of conviction. Since the day I met him, one
thing, and one thing alone has guided his every move. Tenn is a Daddy who misses
and worries about his daughter Madison every moment of every day.

Madison and Tenn are victims of Madison’s mother Shannon and the disaster
called the family court system. Shannon illegally abducted Madison from
California to Illinois. When she learned the law would make her return
Madison, she immediately filed false allegations of domestic violence
against Tenn. As I described here and here, not only has Madison’s mother
broken the law, she’s being rewarded for her actions.

Today he took his cause to new heights. Tenn, from California, in a
Spiderman suit and Paul Fisher, from Ohio, in a Batman suit, both
members of Fathers4Justice, are currently atop a 100 foot crane outside the Ohio
Stadium in Columbus. They’ve unfurled a 40 foot banner that says STOP THE

There are at least 100,000 people passing underneath on their way to the
Ohio State football game. Tenn describes at least 100 police, sheriff and
SWAT officers gathering below. He adds that a police helicopter keeps
buzzing very close by.

When asked to comment, John Fowler, National Coordinator for F4J said,
“These fathers have waited years for change. Their pleas have
fallen of deaf ears when all they are asking for is to be able to love a raise their
children. Why should children be denied the right to have two loving

Tenn has spent the last couple of years volunteering as a board member and
California coordinator for Fathers4Justice. Fathers 4 Justice
originated in the UK a few years ago. Founder Matt O’Connor recently announced he
was shutting down his group, again. There are now F4J branches in several
countries including Canada, where family rights activists Rob Robinson
(Batman) and Kris Titus (Wonderwoman) regularly make the news with similar

Describing the phone calls he receives at all hours of the day Tenn says,
“We get dozens of new members every month, just from California.” “Each
parent thinks their case is unique. They don’t realize that I’ve heard the
same story hundreds of times.”

He says he understands that they need to get it off their chests. “And
fathers aren’t the only parents who are victims,” he adds, “mothers and
grandparents call me too.” It’s estimated that by 2010 one quarter of
America’s noncustodial parents will be female.

Tenn says making any parent “noncustodial” is wrong. Unless they’ve been
convicted of a crime or don’t want to be part of their child’s life. He
even says he wants Shannon to have equal access to Madison, after she gets
out of jail.

Shared parenting and shared custody are supported by over 85% of the
population. Why then can’t these parents and legislators get laws
passed to guarantee equal parental rights to all fit parents? The answer is very
simple. There are “protective mother” groups who are financially and
politically supported by feminist and domestic violence organizations.

They often use lies and debunked “facts” to convince legislators that
passing these laws will hurt children. As I described here I watched as
they lied under oath to derail AB1305, the 2005 California shared parenting
bill. Less than 5% of divorces are high conflict. Sixty to eighty percent
of all domestic violence charges are found to be unnecessary or
false. Isn’t it time to have laws that fit the facts?

Most families would benefit from shared parenting. Studies show it actually reduces conflict. When confronted about the controversial nature of the demonstration Mr. Fowler replied “What would you be willing to do if a corrupt court denied you access to your children?”


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council For Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Emails from Others, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Military Father Homeless and Without Money for Food or Gasoline

I don’t generally post these types of emails as it’s indicative of most fathers who pay child support; they are bankrupt, without money to eat or to pay bills and many are homeless due to outrageously high and grossly unjust child support orders.

However, I chose to share this one with our readers because it’s an especially sickening display of how Ohio treats not only fathers, but military fathers as well.

The following was sent from a military installation. What a great way for Ohio to thank one of its own service members. Steal so much of his income that he cannot even afford to see his own children. The same children that Ohio bankrupted him over and caused him to be homeless.

If you are wondering how a military member could be homeless, they need only be in the reserve and not deployed to be without a “military home.” Remember, the State of Ohio only does this because they claim it’s “in the best interest of the children.”

I am a victim of excessive support that has bankrupted me, rendered me homeless, had a car repossessed, unable to afford to visit my kids or them to visit me, had accounts seized and frozen preventing me from paying bills or having any money for food and gasoline, had to quit a few jobs because I could not afford to drive to work and no public transportation was available.

Submitted to us via email.
Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Child Support, Child Support Hurts, Military Mothers and Fathers, Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses, These are "Deadbeats?", Uncategorized, Unconscionable Child Support Horror Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Military Father Homeless and Without Money for Food or Gasoline

If Alec Baldwin is a “Bad Father” then Kim Basinger must be Declared a “Worse Mother”

As is usually the case with the innumerable anti-father misandrists in the media, fathers are demonized while mothers simultaneously rise to the level of sainthood, no matter what the situation, when it comes to divorce, and more importantly, custody.

You don’t believe me? Tell me, when was the last time the media took sides and therefore defended a husband who publicly disgraced his wife or girlfriend by having an affair?

The names are endless, Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, Jude Law, Koby Bryant..Need I continue? I cannot think of one instance whereby the media defended a husband actions after he was caught cheating on his wife. We never hear, “maybe she was controlling, demanding, abusive and withheld sex” etc. Glenn Sacks wrote a great piece on this very issue a while back.

Understand that I’m not justifying the behavior of the aforementioned, I merely pointing out that when it comes to the media passing judgment, the wife is never culpable for what went wrong in a marriage. Rather, she’s always a “strong” and “great and noble woman,” and she’s anything but to blame. Yet on the other hand, the husband, boyfriend and/or father involved is always demonized, and “solely to blame” for the couple’s problems.

In the Basinger-Baldwin divorce, it’s no different. I for one am sick and tired of hearing about “the voice mail” Alec Baldwin left for Ireland. Yes it was wrong, no, he shouldn’t have done it, yes, it was terrible, but so were (and even more so) Kim Basinger’s hateful actions where SHE publicly humiliated Ireland by releasing Alec’s message to the media, and thereby to the world.

That’s beyond despicable, it’s unfathomable and incomprehensible because she wasn’t driven by raging and out-of-control emotions as was Alec when he left the message. No, she was driven by nothing more than her utter and insatiable vindictive hatred for Alec, and that with absolutely no regard for how her deplorable actions would affect Ireland every time she hears that message played in the public domain, and this, for the rest of her life.

Kim Basinger took a very bad situation and made it exponentially worse for their daughter when she hatefully and willfully chose to turn that message over to the media. Like a bullet that’s fired from the barrel of a gun, that message can never be retrieved from the public domain.

Each and every time Ireland hears that message replayed, Kim’s true colors are revealed. Each and every time Ireland must contend with the doubts regarding her father’s love and affection towards her as a result of hearing that message, Kim bears more and more responsibility for the damage done to Ireland.

Alec Baldwin’s behavior although nothing less than totally unacceptable, is far more excusable and therefore understandable than is that of Kim Basinger.

Understanding the frustration and utter despair a father (who is being alienated by the mother) feels, I can empathize with the “why” regarding Alec’s actions. I certainly don’t condone his actions, but I surely understand the frustration that drove him to do it. Kim however, had only one emotion that was begging to be pacified. Her self-serving vindictive hatred, that was felt towards Alex, and that which had to be satisfied despite the harm it would bring to their own innocent daughter Ireland.

I have yet to see one of those talking heads in the media question how such a private message found its way into the public domain. They all pretend as if it magically went from the personal mailbox of a cell phone (one that most likely required a password to retrieve) and onto television and computer screens around the world.

I’ll tell you how if found its way, Kim carefully and hatefully guided it each step of the way, and out of her complete selfishness, did so without as much as caring how it might permanently psychologically damage her twelve year old daughter Ireland.

I understand the frustration and ensuing emotions that are brought about when a father is purposely alienated from his child, and that, at the hands of the mother. What I don’t understand is the vindictive and insatiable hatred that drives a mother to alienate her children from their father.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Celebrities, Uncategorized | Comments Off on If Alec Baldwin is a “Bad Father” then Kim Basinger must be Declared a “Worse Mother”

I Offer My Condolences to the Family of Minister Ronald Smith

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I extend my heartfelt condolences to the family of Minister Ronald Smith. Sadly, Ron passed suddenly on Friday September 5, 2008. As a well known and well respected father, Father’s Rights Activist, and author, Ron will be deeply missed by many.

Not long after I became active in the father’s rights movement, I contacted Ron for his wisdom and advice.

Not having properly anticipated the magnitude of the hardships associated with being a father’s rights activist, I called Ron on numerous occasions for his insight and support. Knowing Ron’s background as well as all that he had been through, his laudable accomplishments, and who he had become, and considering what he endured during his own trials, I have a tremendous amount of respect for him.

I remember apologizing to him for not being able to make the drive to Michigan last January to attend his Fatherhood Summit. “That’s okay Tony, there’s always next year” he said. I told Ron that I’d be bringing my copy of “Cheated” for him to autograph. I read his book from cover-to-cover, and couldn’t put it down.

On one particular morning in the fall of 2007, we spoke until almost 3:00 am one morning. I was captivated as Ron instructed and encouraged me. I remember asking “how do you do it Ron?” At the time we were discussing adversity and trudging forward despite what lied ahead. “Call me anytime Tony”, Ron said as we had hung up the phone. I was honored that he had given me his direct line and instructed me to “call any time.”

Ron was a father. Not only to his own children, whom he loved dearly, but to many of us other activists who are without his tenure, charisma and leadership abilities. No matter how busy he was, he would always give of himself and make time for others.

On behalf of myself, Ohio Council for Fathers Rights, and our membership, I sincerely thank you Ron. For all you had become, for all you represented, and for all you have done on behalf of children. You will be dearly missed, ad I look forward to seeing you at the finish line.

“Amen Brother, PREACH!”

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on I Offer My Condolences to the Family of Minister Ronald Smith

If You are an Ohio Resident it is Our Opinon that You Avoid Dayton Attorney Jeremiah Denslow

Beware of this attorney! I personally expressed my concerns to Mr. Denslow regarding how he was advertising his services on his website.

I do not consider myself to be the IAP (Internet Attorney Police) nor do I “look” for websites that I might disagree with. I don’t have the time nor the energy, nor the resources, to take issue with every website I disagree with. Nor do I desire to do so, as I talk (and write) way too much as it is.
However, when I happen upon websites that in my own personal opinion are misleading (unintentional or otherwise) and it relates to family law, and more specifically to fathers, I sometimes act.

In the case of Dayton Ohio attorney Jeremiah Denslow, I expressed some concerns I had regarding his website. His response? Well, no response was his response. As Ms. Gracie Ratliff and Mr. Joel Schinke, Directors of the Darke County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) have discovered, my response to being ignored is rather unconventional and equally unpredictable. I do however think they would agree with my saying that I most assuredly will continue making even more noise until I’ve been pacified.

Moreover, internet rumors have it that since the David Rose case (he was the innocent father who was wrongly incarcerated by the Darke County CSEA) Ms. Ratliff’s and Mr. Schinke’s longtime careers with the State of Ohio are further rumored to have done this; How disturbing. That sounded awful, I certainly hope that nobody was ‘seriously’ injured. Nevertheless, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet.

If he doesn’t have the time to extend a small amount of professional courtesy by at least replying to my email, then I certainly won’t waste my time in soliciting a more formal explanation from him.

Considering that I believe that incompetent attorneys should be held accountable for their ineptitude, and that exceptional attorneys should be recognized for their excellence; I’ve created a new category on this Blog. It’s titled, “Attorneys: Retain or Refrain?” Not surprisingly, Mr. Denslow is the first candidate for consideration. I don’t want to spoil your surprise, and therefore ruin you anticipation, but I can’t resist saying that Mr. Denslow does not bode well in our analysis.

Moreover, since we are constantly receiving emails asking for attorney referrals throughout the State of Ohio, our new category will hopefully be of invaluable assistance in aiding others with their decisions regarding which attorney to retain. In my personal opinion, I feel that Mr. Denslow’s website is somewhat misleading and therefore confusing regarding child support orders.

As of today, his website contains the following two paragraphs, and quite comically, one right after the other.

Kind of makes me wonder how some people passed the bar. I guess someone has to graduate at the bottom of thier class in law school.

After all, if someone didn’t volunteer to be at the bottom of their class, we could not longer tell the following joke:
Q: What do you call someone who graduated at the bottom of their class in law school?
A: An attorney.

Quoting from Mr. Denslow’s own website it reads:

“If you feel you aren’t receiving enough child support to meet your child’s needs, you should contact Montgomery County family law attorney, Jeremiah Denslow, to assist you in obtaining more financial support.”

..And in the VERY NEXT paragraph it reads:

A paying parent has rights too. The paying parent may be able to decrease the amount of a child support payment if the parent faces unemployment, the loss of a job or a reduction in income. A paying parent may also be able to decrease the child support obligation when the custodial parent’s income increases……
……Should you find yourself in one of these situations, you should immediately contact a family law attorney. An experienced family law lawyer will help you ensure your child support obligation is at a manageable level.

Would you trust the competence of an attorney who advertises that on his website not just in two paragraphs, but in two SUCCESSIVE paragraphs?

Mr. Denslow, I was born at night, but I wasn’t born yesterday. Riddle me this Counselor. Wouldn’t “cha” feel just a wee-bit awkward representing a client in one child support hearing? One, where you “successfully obtained more child support” and thereby drove a father into bankruptcy? Then, your next client waiting for you outside the courtroom is a father seeking a reduction in his child support. Even worse, it was denied because you “couldn’t “”ensure”” your client’s child support obligation was at a manageable level? “This, after the Magistrate found that your Motion to Reduce was not well-taken and was therefore denied?

I suspect the father whose motion was not well-taken won’t be celebrating after that hearing. Nevertheless, you get paid the same amount of money either way, and may even enjoy a fine dinner after cashing the check for services rendered?

Counselor, I’m curious, as to where you derive your definition of “ensure. I have both a Webster and a Blacks dictionary, and I cannot seem to locate a definition of ensure other than it indicates the making certain or inevitable of an outcome. Now, as I said before, you can no more “ensure” that a noncustodial parent’s child support obligation will be at a manageable level, than can the man on the moon. Last time I personally checked, the man on the moon was MIA, so that leaves me with the impression that you only can “ensure” that confusion can be cleared up.

The problem I have with that Counselor is that I don’t trust the opinion of an attorney who advertises his services in nearly a dozen areas of law.
That said maybe the Ohio Supreme Court can adjudicate this issue and therefore eradicate my ignorance and stupidity. Is license #0074784 correct?

Since you won’t advertise this on your website, we’ll advertise it on ours. I wonder why I’m inclined to believe the claims made by the defendant? If you happen to see Mr. Greene anytime in the near future, please tell him I said “hello.” Oh, I almost forgot, and while you’re at it, tell him to “read up” on 42 U.S.C. 1983. Rumor has it that the federal courts are a “wee-bit’ different than the state’s. Just like you, Mr. Greene knows me as well. Albeit, I suspect he’s about as thrilled about knowing me as you are. However, that’s neither here nor there.

You might want to also mention to Mr. Greene that he runs the risk that his name might be joining yours in our new Blog Category. Lastly on the Mr. Greene issue, tell me Counselor, is there any truth whatsoever to the totally unfounded rumor that this was really said to Counselor Greene during the hearing?

To our readers, I would never recommended Mr. Denslow to anyone involved with a Family Law issue, and more specifically, I would advise fathers to stay away from him. Why would you as a father retain an attorney who represents custodial parents seeking more child support from you, the obligor when I suspect that this will be the outcome?

He advertises that he practices law in all of the following areas:

Criminal Law
Traffic Violations
Family Law
Divorce & Dissolution
Child Custody & Visitation
Child Support
Personal Injury
Appeals and Pardons
Judicial Release & Post Conviction

Have you ever heard of the phrase “Jack-of-all trades, master of none?” How can Mr. Denslow possibly be proficient in any of these areas? If you are going to retain a Family Law attorney, I’d retain a lawyer who practices only in Family Law, and one who was recommended by a trusted source..

Would you go to a doctor who specializes in cardiovascular surgery, plastic surgery, hand surgery, ENT surgery, shoulder surgery, foot surgery, neurosurgery, vascular surgery, transplant surgery, eye surgery, colon surgery, and hip replacement surgery? Why not?

I just named a dozen areas in medicine that are considered “specialties.” Do you know of any doctors who practice in twelve different areas? I don’t. However, if I did, I certainly wouldn’t see him or her. Why then would someone retain an attorney who practices in nearly a dozen areas of law?

Moreover the opinion express by the other letter writer on this website is quite disturbing in and of itself.

Mr. Denslow, please forgive me for not providing you with a phone number to contact me. Unfortunately, our phone was disconnected yesterday for non-payment. As a matter of fact, I’m currently living in a house that was foreclosed on and auctioned off at the sheriff’s sale this past July? Therefore, regarding comments, I have this to say to you.

Have you any idea why? It’s because that my attorney (prior to me firing her for her incompetence) didn’t “ensure” that my child support obligation was at a “manageable level.”

An example of Jeremiah Denslow’s Criminal Appeals “Handywork” in the Appellate Court
Finally Counselor, and as a peace offering from myself to you, I will allow you to write Mr. Greene’s review for our forum. This, considering what he as your adversary plastered all over the internet in the court of appeals, when he metaphorically instructed you in the appellate process in the 2nd District Court of Appeals.

Tony Fantetti

Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Attorneys; Retain or Refrain?, Refrain!, Uncategorized | Comments Off on If You are an Ohio Resident it is Our Opinon that You Avoid Dayton Attorney Jeremiah Denslow

Please Consider Assisting Us so that We May Assist Others

We do not charge to assist others. Many have received tremendous help from us. For some thousands of dollars in unjust, unwarranted and false child support arrears have been forgiven as a direct result of our involvement with their cases. Sadly, very few have offered to assist us in return.

As many of our regular readers are aware, I was terminated from job in December 2007. This, after the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Fugitive Warrant Unit appeared at former place of employment to arrest me on an outstanding “civil” warrant.

In retrospect, I do not fault the judge or magistrate overseeing my case. I fault the State of Ohio for its hateful statutes that punish and criminalize loving and caring fathers such as myself.

They didn’t write the statutes, they enforce them. It is we and our children who “pay” the price of Ohio’s anti-father statutes.

Nevertheless, I personally am not exempt from the destruction and devastation that financially crippling and unbearable child support orders deliver into the lives of Ohio’s 1,000,000 non-custodial parents (NCPs).

I too have gone bankrupt, lost my job, have had my home foreclosed on, and have essentially lost everything of material value. Thankfully though, I’m blessed that I am fortunate enough to have my wonderful and beautiful daughter fifty percent of the time.

As I’ve previously blogged, I do receive $422 per week in unemployment compensation benefits. Originally, the Hamilton County CSEA was seizing $211 of those weekly checks to satisfy my current child support order. However, they have since raised the amount seized to pay for an “arrears” that does not exist.

It’s rather ironic that I have been successful in having improper, unwarranted and outright false arrears completely erased for others, while I myself am a victim of the same lie.

As explained in a previous blog entry, the Hamilton County CSEA has seized my current wife’s tax refunds and rebate checks (I have letters from the United States Treasury as proof) in amounts totaling in excess of $3,200. However, they refuse to credit my account for said seizures. Why? They have an internal policy that allows them to hold onto the monies, collect and retain the interest on said funds; Or they borrow and spend the funds (for six months) interest free, and until payment is made to the obligee.

Regrettably, and with shame and embarrassment I’ve learned that our phone was disconnected today due to our failure to pay an overdue balance.

It’s disheartening enough for my daughter’s sake. Sadly, this will affect the many who rely upon us for moral support. Those such as despondent fathers and noncustodial mothers as well. Some, who are on the verge of suicide.

I’ve talked to many fathers over the phone who were crying, reaching out for help, and searching for a reason not to end their lives.For those of you who haven’t “been there” you cannot even begin to fathom how overwhelming, is the sense of helplessness, despair, and the pain of losing the right to see your children.

Add to that a bankruptcy, foreclosure, a dire and overwhelming financial situation, and you have a recipe for personal disaster. One that quite sadly, culminates with another forlorn Ohio father committing suicide, and another Ohio child without a father.

To have the phone service reconnected requires a payment of a few hundred dollars. Please consider that one day, it could be your brother, or uncle, or son, or father on the other end of that phone. This applies to our international readers as well.

I implore you to visit our sister site and make a donation through the PayPal button at the bottom of the left column. No amount is to small. I recognize that many of you are in financial dire straits as well.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Please Consider Assisting Us so that We May Assist Others

Dad Who Attempted Suicide is Declared “Voluntarily Underemployed” for Child Support Purposes

This is one of the most sickening and inhumane cases of child “support” abuse I’ve ever seen or heard of. Laconia New Hampshire voters have a moral obligation to vote Family Court Judge Lucinda Sadler off the bench, and that pronto.

There is more than one issue in this case that’s deserving of discussion. First, is the absolute twisted and perverted abuse of discretion exercised by Judge Lucinda Sadler.

Obviously, when a father attempts suicide, there’s most likely an underlying mental health issue. It’s well-known that some fathers commit suicide following the realization that they cannot meet their child support obligations. Once that becomes a reality, suicide for some, makes a better choice than perpetual incarceration.

Although New Hampshire Child Support guidelines, are allegedly designed to be in the “best interests” of the child, as is supposedly the case in many states, a question that begs of an answer is this; “What’s more in the best interests of a child? A father who is mentally stable and therefore able to be a meaningful part of his children’s lives both physically and emotionally, or, a forcefully absent father who is ordered to pay higher amounts of child support?”

Apparently, the sick and vile Judge Sadler of Laconia New Hampshire, defines a child’s best interests not by how emotionally fit and therefore better able a father is to be a meaningful part of his children’s lives; but rather, by how much money the evil Judge Sadler can forcefully extract from said father in monthly child support payments.

Your Honorless, I can assure you that as someone who grew up without a father, and as someone who to this day doesn’t understand, comprehend or know the true meaning of a father-son bond, I would trade all the money in the world to know what said bond felt like. And although I had and am very thankful for “Steve” who assumed that role and made a tremendous difference in my life which was completely out-of-control when we met, I still don’t understand that bond between a biological father and son.

Next, the mother of the twin girls, Joanne Fontaine, needs to be meticulously scrutinized for her role in this tragedy. Time and time again, fathers are humiliated, castigated, criticized and demonized in the press for their parenting skills, or “lack” thereof. This, while a mother’s parenting skills and abilities often go unchecked, and are assumed to be without imperfection.

As I’ve stated many times, I am not a misogynist. However, given what Ohio Council for Fathers Rights represents and fights against, I personally witness mainly horrific and appalling behaviors by custodial mothers. I witness the behavior that the mainstream press, misandrists, and radical feminists refuse to even acknowledge, much less will admit even exists.

That said, I offer you insight into “the other side” where mothers such as Joanne Fontaine should at the very least, have their motives questioned. Despite her allegations of the father, Calvin Dunn, hiding assets and income, her allegations were unfounded and therefore rendered meaningless by the trial court.

What’s there to question about a “struggling mother” trying to get more “child support?” Well, I say everything, when her greed in what would be a never-ending quest for more money, is a contributing factor to her daughters’ father’s failed suicide attempt.

How can I assume that child support was a contributing factor to this father’s suicide attempt? I’ve spoken with enough crying and desperate fathers, read enough suicide stories, and have witnessed with my own eyes, the tragic consequences associated with fathers who are saddled with child support obligations that they simply do not have the financial ability to meet.

If Joanne Fontaine has any concern whatsoever for the “best interests of her children,” if Joanne Fontaine was anything less than greedy and selfish, then someone please argue as to how a mother such as her, stands back and watches while the mental health of her children’s father deteriorates to such degree that he attempts suicide?

Ignorance is not a valid excuse. I can assure you that for those who are unlucky enough to be involved in contentious litigation involving their children, they are well aware as to the mental capacity of the other parent. This includes their capacity for practicing unconscionable evil.

So why wouldn’t Joanne Fontaine cut the father of her twin daughters some slack, back off with the litigation, and wait to argue for more “child support” dollars after Calvin Dunn has become more emotionally stable?

My opinion? It’s quite possible that not only did she savor his deteriorating mental condition, she may have actually delectated in his mental demise. Moreover, she may have meticulously nurtured the decline in his mental health. Before you dismiss that scenario as ludicrous, ask yourself why she continued wielding her unstoppable “Family” Court war hammer as she did?

“Why that’s absurd Tony,” you say, “have you lost your mind?” Absolutely not. I am merely speaking from my own experiences in the cases that I have been personally involved with. To date, I have been hesitant to blog about the unfathomable, twisted, and hateful evil that I have and continue to witness. I’ve seen the “crack-moms” jeer and celebrate in court after their hatred and lies put the father of their children behind bars.

I’ve seen the transcripts, filled with seething hatred, where some mothers have in open court and under oath testified, “I don’t care if you lose your house, I don’t care if you lose your car, and I don’t care if you become homeless and are incarcerated” when asked during cross-examination, “Don’t you care that your actions may cause the father of your child to be lose his home, lose his job, become homeless and be incarcerated?”

I cannot stress enough that I am not “anti-mom”, I am not a misogynist, I am not against “equal” rights, and I am not a “mom-basher.” However, I can no longer sit silent as yet another father attempts to take his life, and this, after having been driven there by “the system” itself.

Are we really to believe that a willfully blind Court along with a ruthless, abusive and hateful “child support” system are truly acting only in the “best interests” of this father’s daughter after they’ve driven him over the edge, and into such an utterly hopeless and mentally and emotionally defeated state, that he orchestrates and then executes a plan whereby he hopes to meet his demise? That’s in the “best interest” of his precious daughter? A fatherless child is in that child’s best interest?

The “Family” courts and “child support” system are routinely manipulated and then wielded as an unstoppable, unchecked, and “all-powerful” weapon that in the hands of a vindictive, hateful and vengeful custodial mother, that’s used to destroy the life of a father. An orchestrated and hateful, vindictive no-holds-barred vengeance is continuously inflicted upon him until in some cases, he opts for suicide after recognizing that it offers him the “only” logical escape.

I regularly see and witness inexplicable evil. An evil that ultimately harms and punishes the very children it claims to protect, and I simply do not understand it, so much so, that I cannot even intellectualize it. It makes no sense, and I’m so thankful that I’m without the mental faculties to comprehend it. Lest, I would be one of “them.”

I am eternally grateful for the conscious and the lucid morals that my late mother instilled in me.

“Thanks Mom.”

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Uncategorized, Unconscionable Child Support Horror Stories | 36 Comments

The Montgomery County Child Support Enforcement Agency’s Shameful Albeit Very Public Display of Misandry

If I were to write about the rampant misandry that’s proudly championed by Ohio’s 88 county Child Support Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs), I would go on, and on, and on…

That said, child support ‘enforcement’ and misandry are synonymous, simply assumed, and therefore not worth addressing. It’s a fact, it goes without saying, but in certain situations, the brazen display of male-bashing sometimes deserves to be acknowledged.

Hence, the Montgomery County (Dayton Ohio) Child Support Enforcement Agency deserves a round of applause for their very blatant albeit simultaneously subtle public father-bashing on their website.
(2012 UPDATE: Please note that since this post was written, the Montgomery County CSEA has removed the videos that I referenced in the following link. I suspect that they did so because they didn’t like the inconvenient truth that I pointed out) If you visit this link you can see for yourself why they deserve a “pat-on-the-back” for publicly bashing fathers worldwide via the Internet.

In every video on the aforementioned page, it’s always the father who is either behind on child support, refusing to pay, or attempting to evade establishing paternity. On paternity, are there any videos encouraging mothers to “inform” fathers that they are in fact fathers? Of course not. Nor are there any videos encourage mothers to not engage in paternity fraud, or of fathers who as the victims of paternity fraud have been extorted to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars in child support for children where it’s proven through DNA that they didn’t father.

In reality, and as proven by Dr. Stephen Baskerville in his latest release (an eye-opening must-read) “Taken Into Custody,” statistically speaking, non-custodial mothers (NCMs) default on child support payments far more often than do non-custodial fathers (NCFs). That’s an incontrovertible and proven fact, not an opinion. A fact never reported, much less acknowledge by the CSEAs or those in the media.

Why is it that in every video on the Montgomery County CSEA’s website, a father is the “bad” parent? Are there not mothers in Montgomery County who default on child support obligations? Are there not mothers in Montgomery County who are under suspension for failing to pay child support? Are there not fathers in Montgomery County who are being denied their repeated requests to see or merely speak to their children with whom they wish to bond with but are prevented from doing so by maternal gatekeeping? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding and absolute “yes.”

Then why has the Montgomery County CSEA carefully and meticulously constructed their website so as to cast fathers and fatherhood in such a negative light? It’s simple, it’s to divert the public’s attention from the hundreds of millions of dollars in profits that the State of Ohio is making annually from its statewide child support collections.

By detracting the public’s attention from their greed and by proudly and openly promoting misandry, they can continue to decimate the lives of Ohio fathers by bankrupting them, criminalizing them, and driving some to suicide while making a profit off of each and every father’s life that they wantonly and hatefully destroy through Title-IV Social Security funded, federal incentive matches.

Keep in mind that this is the same Ohio “Child Support” Enforcement Agency that not once but twice indicted and convicted of felony nonsupport of a minor child, a poor black father who stopped paying child support on his precious daughter who was tragically killed in an automobile accident. So while that father was grieving and burying his precious child, the Montgomery County “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA) was preparing its felony indictment against this father. That’s beyond disgusting, it’s perverted, diabolical and absolutely devoid of both human and humane qualities.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

Posted in Child Support, Montgomery County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

An Ohio Attorney Who Proudly Profits off of the Decimation of Children’s Lives

I do not consider myself the “Legal Police”, nor do I have the time to address every questionable website (advertising lawyers and their firms) that “cross the line” in their attempts to attract business from unsuspecting persons. That said, I have contacted less than five attorneys in the past year to express my discontent in how they advertise their services.

Below, is a copy of an email I recently sent to an Ohio attorney whose website I found particularly misleading and offensive.

On a different note, and as a follow-up, I am happy to report that the attorney I blogged about here, was kind and caring enough to reword his website so as to address my concerns.

There are true fathers rights attorneys who actually care about the well-being of fathers and that of their children, and I am incredibly grateful for them. On the other hand, there are those who shamelessly profit off of the destruction inflicted upon the lives of fathers and those of their children they so dearly love. It is those types of attorneys that I have nothing but utter contempt for.
August 26, 2008
Mr. Dxxxxxx,

I find your website to be both sickening and appalling. Do you pride
yourself in profiting off of the destruction of many Ohio fathers
lives by having their child support orders increased while they
themselves live in poverty and cannot afford basic necessities?

Is it funny to you when fathers have up to 65% of their monthly income
seized for “child support”, while they themselves are left with almost
nothing to support themselves, or even worse, their child support
payments support the custodial parents drug and or alcohol addiction?

Counselor, I myself am not an attorney. However, I have been involved
in more cases in the family courts than have many attorneys. That
said, I’m well-versed in what actually transpires in Ohio’s Family
Courts, despite the statutory claims you make.

You claim, “Child support is meant to ensure that children of the
divorce continue with the same standard of living they enjoyed before
the divorce.” Is that so counselor? Please explain to me how a child
can continue the “same standard of living” after many fathers have
been driven to bankruptcy, homelessness, and in some case suicide, as
a direct result of being burdened with a support obligation that was
not only unwarranted and unjust, but financially unsustainable as
well. Many fathers live without heat in the winter, go without food,
and are routinely caught in a cycle of utility disconnects. Does this affect a child’s
“standard of living” who “visits” their father?

You also state, “When circumstances change, such as the loss of a job, a promotion, an
inheritance, extreme medical or education expenses, xxxxxx family law attorney xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxx is successful at obtaining child support modifications.” Have any of your clients
ever been declared “voluntarily underemployed” by the courts, and therefore had income
imputed following a Motion to Modify?

That said, your website contains many misleading statements such
as, “Other times, parents find themselves in a financial bind and have
a hard time meeting their child support obligation. Should you find
yourself in one of these situations, you should immediately contact a
family law attorney. An experienced family law lawyer will help you
ensure your child support obligation is at a manageable level.”

An “experienced” family law attorney can no more have a unbearable
child support order lowered by filing a Motion to Modify, than can the
man on the moon counselor. Are you willing to offer a money-back

Day in and day out I witness actions whereby innocent children are
forced to pay for the hateful vindictiveness of custodial parents, and
it absolutely repulses me. There exists only one other thing that
repulses me more, and that’s a shameless attorney who proudly profits off of the
unwarranted and wanton decimation that’s hatefully forced into their lives.

I’m without the necessary time to “police” the websites of attorneys. However, when I
happen across one such as yours, one that’s replete with patently misleading statements,
I feel obligated to act.

Statements whereby through various misrepresentations on their website, an attorney can
obtain business under the false pretense that by simply retaining
them, one can have their child support obligation lowered.

“If you think your circumstances are different than most peoples, it
is important to contact an experienced family law attorney to
determine whether your situation would allow a deviance from the child
support guidelines.” Mr. Dxxxxxx, deviations are at the complete discretion of the court.
Hence, the word “may” rather than “shall” in the statutes.

Please consider rewording the misleading statements on your
website. Moreover, I will be posting a copy of this email on our blog (minus any
identifiable information) and welcome your rebuttal.

Respectfully submitted,

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

On a different note, and as a follow-up, I am happy to report that the attorney I blogged about here, was kind and caring enough to reword his website so as to address my concerns.

Posted in Attorneys; Retain or Refrain?, Uncategorized | Comments Off on An Ohio Attorney Who Proudly Profits off of the Decimation of Children’s Lives

Psychological Warfare

The following is a comment that a user posted to the OCFFR Blog that I turned into a separate blog post as I felt that the message was too important to be hidden among comments.

Posted by an anonymous person on the OCFFR Blog:
My fiance and I have just completed one of the most horrific custody cases I have ever witnessed. My fiance is a loving father who has had his son eleven hours a day, five days a week, for the last FIVE years. His ex-wife found herself a new husband on e-harmony eleven months before the trial and took my fiance back to court because she literally wanted my fiance out of her life. They previously had shared parenting and was supposed to return to court to renegotiate parenting time once my fiances son was in school. but she was successfully able to decrease my fiances time to the standard “visitation” plan. This all took place in Cuyahoga County.

I am a divorced mother whose ex-husband disappeared for five years. When he finally resurfaced, he was awarded visitation by Lorain County. I will say that Lorain County has a much more equitable atmosphere towards fathers. I erroneously assumed that my fiance would get the same treatment from Cuyahoga. I was dead wrong. The first thing that happened was that the ex-wife got the magistrate to order a “full psychological evaluation” of my fiance. My fiance was ordered to meet with a psychologist and rehash everything that went wrong in his marriage and answer allegations put forth by his ex-wife. She had told this psychologist that my fiance was a sexually abused child, a criminal, a wife abuser, and that he was guilty of caring for his child “too much”. Of course, she had no proof for any of these allegations. This did not seem to matter to the psychologist, my fiance was forced over several meetings to answer any and all of the charges she leveled at him. In the end, the psychologist decided that my fiance was guilty of “enmeshment”. Meaning that he cared to much for his son and was actually stifling his development.

I should say that both my fiance and myself are registered nurses. We are not uneducated. My fiance actually holds two different bachelors degrees and one masters. I am very well aquainted with psychology. When I read the report from this psychologist, I was appalled. It was not even sound psychological theory. I happened to mention this to a colleage of mine at work and he stopped in his tracks. In horror, he told me that his ex-wife had also used this same attack. She had gotten the same psychologist to evaluate him and he had been accused of “enmeshment”. He actually appealed the courts decision and got his own expert psychologist to come in and testify. The court did not listen to a word of the testamony and on the advise of this psychologist his visitation was TAKEN AWAY. Another colleague heard our discussion and came to join in. I think everyone in Cuyahoga County needs to know what we have found out by contacting men who have been ordered to undergo these “psychological evaluations”. In Cuyahoga County there are only two male psychologists who are considered “experts” and who are called in to testify in court. In almost all of the cases, these two psychologist will rule in favor of the mother. It does not matter if she is mentally ill, on drugs, or abusive. Mom will win. It is so bad that one of these two psychologists has acutally been sued in the past for psychological malpractice. I do not understand how in the world these two men have been able to get ahold of this kind of power. Literally, the judges will do anything they say. I would not have believed this of our justice system if I had not witnessed it with my own eyes. My fiance has been stripped of his shared parenting and reduced to being on the sidelines in his own sons life. All because a psychologist thinks he cares for his son too much. This is the kind of story that we need to get out to the public. I don’t think people realize that this is going on.


Posted in Custody Issues, Emails from Others, The Voices of Others | Comments Off on Psychological Warfare