Don’t Know if You Can Help

I received the following via email:

Haven’t seen my now 5 year old son in over 13 months. Now have a 3 month old daughter. I’m low income and have been calling ABLE since Oct. but told to call back in 3 months they cant help. Been rejected three times by them, can you direct me to a low income legal service. I am only thirty five dollars in the rear for my child support and haven’t missed a payment in over a year. My ex cut me stopped visitation five months after our separation because she found out i finale found someone new. Not on my sons school contact list. Changed her number so i cant schedule visitation. Found out he now calls me by my first name and tells people that I hate him. My situation is just not right. If you cant direct me to some legal help. I understand and will keep trying on my own.


Right there in that father’s email is a “prime” example of what the State of Ohio, Ohio’s 88 County “Child Support” Enforcement Agencies (CSEAs) and Ohio’s “Family Courts” consider “the best interests of the children.”

Ohio, it’s CSEAs, and the Courts couldn’t care less about this Ohio father’s little children. They ONLY care about the profit they’re making at his children’s expense. And that, while the child support mom (CSM) stealing this father’s income lies to and uses to innocent children in her sick, demented and twisted game whereby she uses his children to punish him, and them, by depriving them of a loving father who wants a relationship with his precious children.

I’ve seen a lot, hear a lot and cried about a lot over the years, but for some reason, this story is especially sickening to me. If this father were to fall behind in his “child support” payments, the CSEA would be enacting increasingly abusive punitive measures that would eventually end up with a criminal felony nonsupport indictment of this father. Even more vile and disgusting, Ohio’s CSEA would provide for free an attorney to the disgusting example of a “mother” in this case so as to ensure that this father would  go to jail.

I challenge anyone who supports Ohio’s vile and despicable “child support” system (aka CSEA) to post to this blog, the foundation of your support for such a perverted and repulsive agency who’s very conduct is behind this madness.

To those of you who in your manifold ignorance defend Ohio’s CSEAs; you are implicitly condoning the behavior of “mothers” such as the one described herein by supporting an agency that perpetrates and financially rewards those who willfully separate fathers from their children.

Even more sickening, is that Ohio’s CSEAs earn a profit each and every time the father who sent me the email above pays his “child support” obligation.

It is said that in the end times, what seems right will be wrong, and what seems wrong will be right. I can think of no better example of that than stealing income from one person in a transaction I call a “payroll theft” and giving it to another (the custodial parent-the mother in 84% of cases nationwide) while the man-in-the-middle who conducts the theft (Ohio’s CSEAs) “profits” from said transaction.

Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

This entry was posted in Child Abuse, Custody Issues, Emails from Others, Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), The Voices of Others, This is in the "Best Interests of the Children?", Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Don’t Know if You Can Help

  1. Nathan77 says:

    I need help as well. I am a disabled father in Wood County, Ohio. My children are ages 6 and 7. I have presented evidence to children services, the courts, Bowling Green Police Department, and their Guardian ad Lidem, that their mother is an abusive drug addict. I endured irreversible damage to both feet after reconstructive surgery due to the partial abandonment by my ex, and after running on them to save my children from our home when it caught fire. For the first years of my childrens lives they really only knew me since their mother was constantly going out to party most of the time. During the time she was there she was constantly yelling at them and occasionally smacking them in an uncontrollable manner. I made multiple reports to children services with video evidence, but nothing was done. When I took her to court for custody my lawyer pressed the issue with children services adding that the children where living in deplorable conditions. According to her they gave her 48 hours notice, (so she would have enough time to clean up) and when the investigator arrived she took one step in the door looked to the left and then the right and stated everything looked fine without even speaking to the children. I managed to obtain 50% custody, in an agreement out of court that benefited her. I was grateful under the circumstances. I ended up caring for the children 90% of the time for the past 2 years. When I acquired a small settlement she requested money. When I turned her down she decided to demand the time allotted to her in our contract. I have provided every financial need for my children until recently.(her mother finally bought them some cloths) Even though she gets all the assistance available from the state and one of the childrens support checks from my social security. I on the other hand qualify for no assistance from the state according to Wood County ODJFS. No more than a month went by before the abuse started back up. My daughter came home one day with a black eye and a bruise on her cheek bone. I took her to the doctor the next day and she was diagnosed with a contusion. The doctor told me to file a report with the police and children services. I also obtained a recording of their mother admitting to backhanding our 7 year old daughter because she smirked at her after being told to go to the corner. The officer I spoke with was appalled and was even more distraught after speaking to my daughter and hearing the tape. Even though her forgot police procedure by not taking her picture, He told me to make copies of the evidence and to bring it to him the next day and that her would take it to the prosecute personally. I returned to the police department the next day with a copy of the doctors report and a copy of the confession, but I was told the officer was given the next couple of days off and that he did not know he was going to be off until the end of his shift. I never did hear back from him even after multiple calls to the station. Later I found out that the evidence that I left there had disappeared. I did not know at the time that they should have given me a receipt. The judge at the juvenile court however, granted my petition for emergency custody, with that very same evidence. But, whent the investigator from children services came to court they said they did not see any reason to keep the children from their mother. Now I taped the inter view between my daughter and the investigator in my home. My daughter told her several times that her mother is constantly smacking her across the face and that she is scared of her. The investigator constantly asked her if I was putting her up to it and finally my daughter scowled at her and told her once again that her mom hits her and that she wants to live with dad. Even though I had asked for attorney that would be pro-bono or prorated from the bar association and was denied, she was able to get a lawyer pro-bono, in fact, he is the assistant prosecutor for the city of Bowling Green. Unfortunately, my lawyer told me that I had to retract my petition due to the fact that children services was going against me stating that she did not see any reason to keep the children from their mother. Of course my ex was at my house as soon as she got out of court. Neither child wanted to go and I even had to physically remove my son from the back of my car to go with her. Of course her and her mother started with the coaching techniques which I spoke to my daughter about on tape and reassured her that she should tell the Guardian ad Lidem the truth. The Guardian did submit a report to the investigator stating she believed there was abuse occurring. I requested psych. evaluations and instead of going through the court we are supposed to go through the GAL but I have not heard from her in 4 months on who to see and our last hearing was continued due to the report not being done. I did have my ex tested for drugs. I was tested as well and came up clean, and she tested positive for coke and pot. Nothing has been done and she is even still able to drive children back and forth from the childrens resource center as their employee. I however was tested again by the children services investigator. I talked to my ex on the way to my test and told her it was my turn to be swabbed, and she claimed not to know what I was talking about. I double checked with the investigator about her allegation that she had tested my ex two weeks earlier and reconfirmed it, at this point I do not know who to believe. While we were there she spoke to my daughter again due to a report from her school. Her mother had told her that if she told me anything else about what happens at her house that she would cut her tongue out and that her mom punched her in the eye.(violating the no corporeal punishment order) Even though my daughter would not tell me about it, the investigator told me that she did not see any bruises and that she did not think the tongue thing was a big issue since she did not think that my daughter really believed that her mom would do it. Both my kids have told me that the hitting by their mother, grandmother, and her life partner. I have reported it to the GAL to no avail. I do not know what to do. Dose anyone have any advise to give or help to offer?

  2. pete edwards says:

    my fiance’ has 3 chidren and has paid child support for almost 10 years now and has only seen them 7 years out of the 14. she uses the children against him and when he calls ,if the number hasn’t changed, their mom says the dont want to come for visitations. she never allows the to call there father and it is forbidden for the to get close to me. We have been to court for visitation and was ordered to have the every weekend and every other holiday. If the kids have something planned they called there dad the first 2 months after the last court appearance. Have not seen them or been able to talk to them since April 27, 2009. Please help don’t want to take them away from her, they deserve a loving, caring, and willing to give all father in there life. Any suggestions please reply. Thanks

  3. Carl T. W. says:

    I’m in a different situation yet similar in the way that the Ohio “Child Support” System is screwing me over thick and thin. It may be a different story then some of the people posting here but I’m not sure how long before I’m in their position as well. To the story, I’ve been paying child support since last year and have never missed a payment. The only reason I had arreages is because the judge back dated the C.S. amount and calculated it to over $1000. I live in Ohio now back with family and my ex wife lives in Florida. I PAY for plane tickets to see my daughter every summer…and try to for christmas (although with the way C.S. is screwing me as of late I don’t know if that’ll happen this year and the judge nor C.S. seems to care). Recently they’ve been taking over $100 more than they are supposed too out of the checks I get from work (Where I work is as a longshoremen and I don’t get that much work at all and since the original court order for support my Unemployment benefits have gone down $100.) I actually have a lawyer who is trying to get us into a hearing asap, in which case I’m sure the courts delay these hearings as much as they can. Today I just read that they have a $65.00 amount ordered every week to take from my unemployment which is only $183.00. The original child support amount is $290.27 and they have already taken my income tax check this year and over paid themselves for my arreages. They took $390 from my work checks for the month of June and I wasn’t receiving unemployments for 2 1/2 weeks of it so i think the most I got for the month of June was $200 if I was lucky. My 190$ gross checks get knocked down to 150 without C.S. …with C.S. I’m left with a measely 50$. Now if I go back to work and they take from my work checks….AND unemployment I don’t even know how I’m going to afford to eat for the week and MY DAUGHTER IS WITH ME FOR THE SUMMER! What is the justice in this? I have bills like everyone else and have never missed a payment when it comes to the “regular time” I’ve had to pay and not the backdated amount the judge chose out of thin air. Now I’m running on fumes….I’m scrambling to find a job…I have a seek work order to find a consistent full time job and I do what I’m supposed to do. I apply to more than 20 jobs a month and why? So they can raise my support order when I do finally get an interview and get a full time job. I just don’t get where the logical thinking is in this system and if anyone knows of ANY HELP someone in my position can receive please let me know. I’m desperate at this point.

    • Tony Fantetti says:


      Contrary to your claim of “there’s no logic in this”, there in fact is; It’s called a “profit,” and the more “child support” the State of Ohio wrongfully seizes from you, the more profit they earn.

      You also asked,

      Now if I go back to work and they take from my work checks….AND unemployment I don’t even know how I’m going to afford to eat for the week and MY DAUGHTER IS WITH ME FOR THE SUMMER! What is the justice in this?

      You already know the answer to that, so I suspect you’re asking it out of utter frustration. There’s none, and the State of Ohio doesn’t care, nor do they care in the least about your daughter or you seeing your daughter. They care about one thing and one alone; ‘profit.’

      The only way they can earn said profit is to collect ‘child support’, and that, lawfully or not. It doesn’t matter to Ohio as they will and do unlawfully collect what they’re not entitled too as alleged in this recently filed class action lawsuit whereby ODJFS among others is listed as a Defendant.

      Please know that I mean no disrespect in saying what I’m about to, nor is it my intent to marginalize your situation as I’ve been where you are and can therefore truly empathize. However, until more people “get it” and truly believe the following and then get involved as a result, things won’t change.

      Your situation is no different than countless others Carl. Most believe that their own situation is unique and that it’s only they who are “getting taken” by the system and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Additionally, and most importantly, you need to get involved.

      I’ve told the same to countless people over the years and only a small percentage actually do engage themselves. That must change for the system to change. If you want help, you have to help yourself by getting actively involved in changing the system. The emails (and blog posts) I get from others asking for help are as endless as they are countless. If those same number of people had gotten involved since I started the organization in 2007, I believe that things would be different today.

      That said, if you want help, help yourself, and you help yourself by getting involved. Again, I mean no disrespect towards you in stating that. It’s simply the truth and the only way to change “the system.”

      If you don’t believe me, then consider this; there are hundreds of thousands (and probably) millions of “child support” paying noncustodial parents such as you who truly need help. To help them, either someone must provide free legal counsel, free housing, free money etc, or someone (the same people perhaps?) need to change the system.

      What few consider when asking for free legal counsel for example is that attorneys, just like you and the rest of us, have bills, must provide for their families, and have to work too. Therefore, it’s honestly impossible (and at it’s core illogical) to think that there exists some organization or some attorneys and or law firms that can endlessly provide free legal counsel. Anyone who were to do that would be in dire straits and in need of help themselves as they too must earn a living.

      Now do you understand why I say to everyone who asks me for help, “The best way to get help is to help yourselves by getting involved?”

      There’s an upcoming and incredible opportunity that I’m presently working on that I know will in fact change the system. I’m working with others to form a national non-profit organization that will seek to address the very issues that you, I, and millions of other ‘child support’ paying noncustodial parents around the nation are facing. Are you interested in joining? Rest assured that said effort will change the system on a
      national level, but to do be effective in doing so, others must help themselves (merely by joining) to get the help they’re seeking.


      Tony Fantetti