Why The System is as it is and Won’t Change…Yet

They’re endless, “about me,” all that matters, and the reason Ohio’s “Family Court” system and the “Child Support” Enforcement Agency (CSEA) are as they are.

They truly believe their situation to be unique, the most important of all, and deserving of mine and others immediate attention. They promise everything and in nearly every case deliver nothing. They scream the loudest, believe that they should be heard, and that because they’re situation is “different.”

Who are they? They are predictable, make the same empty promise, are not to be believed in most cases, and contact me daily via emails that have the same two worn-out lines; “what can I do to get involved” and “please help.” The first is an insincere offer that only serves as an introduction to the latter which is the real motive behind their email.

“What can I do to get involved” is  truly a head fake that’s really a false cover for “my case is unique, I’m being abused, and I therefore deserve your undivided attention and unlimited resources, all for free of course. “Please help” is really why they’re contacting those that they are.

Am I being uncaring, cold, and flippant? Nope, only truthful in stating why “the System” is so anti-father, anti-noncustodial parent, and why things don’t change.

If many of those who’ve approached me over the last four years had the attitude of serving others instead of looking to better their own case by using others, things might very well be different today.

Understand that there are millions out there who fire off emails every day to some father’s rights (or the like) organization who seek only to help themselves and not others. That therein is the very problem that allows the present lunacy and contempt for noncustodial parents and their children by “the System” to perpetuate.

Nearly every noncustodial mom and dad has their own visitation and child support horror stories and they’re indeed truly sad. Some are incredibly heartbreaking, while others are downright disturbing and unnerving.

However, even more sad in some cases is the fact that so few are willing to chart their own (and their child’s, especially those with sons) course by getting involved so as to change the course of theirs and their child’s future. Why is that so? Simply because those very same people are those who are desperately needed in a vast mutiny to force the necessary change.

So to those who are always pleading “I need help” I ask, do you, and more importantly, do you really mean that? If you did, you would get involved as that’s the best way to help yourself. Things will continue to be as they are until you decide enough is enough and finally become active in fighting against this.

But so it is and will be; millions will continue to ask for help, while only a few of the same will get actively involved. Worse is that they don’t realize that getting involved is to help both themselves and others, who’ll in turn do the same. When that happens we’ll see great changes for the better, and such will truly be in the best interest of the children.

There’s a new organization currently being formed on a national level that will make a significant difference and will surely be a force to be reckoned with. The domain is in place, the charter is being written, a trademark is in progress, the web site is under construction, and Board members under consideration. Are you interested? I’d like to see a million members join and believe that’s easily attainable given what we’ll be standing for.

To those who’re presently assisting with that, I want to say “thank you!” Especially you “M!” In truth, you’re the first person I’ve met who possesses the same tenacity, fire and compassion as do I!

To those who read what I’ve written and say, “I don’t have time,” I ask, is that so? If you don’t have time to join and get involved, then please don’t complain nor ask others to help you as that makes you a hypocrite. To me at least, because your lack of doing so is precisely why you’re in the very position that you find yourself in as you expect others to help you? Who are you helping?

Additionally, there are those working in excess of 70 and 80 hours a week who are assisting and getting involved, so I ask you this, “do you really think that they ‘have the time?’” They have full-time jobs, children to tend to, court hearings etc etc and yet they choose to get involved because they don’t want to pass this ugliness on to their own children.

Think about it; the “child support” and Family Court juggernaut has moved forward unfettered for decades. It continues to leave in its a wake, a huge path of destruction that has decimated the lives of so many innocent and precious children who don’t have a voice in this. Their lives have been very hatefully and contemptuously waylaid in a very wanton and disgusting manner by the very system that purports to only be acting “in their best interests.” No, not true; that system only acts out of its own best financial interest which is only attainable at the expense of the children’s best interests as the two are mutually exclusive.

I believe that it’s every parent’s (especially noncustodial parents) responsibility to be an advocate for their children and thereby be one of those voices that’s working to change this very broken system as that same system is acting against the children.

Don’t believe me? How does incarcerating a child’s father for failing to pay child support after he lost his job through no fault of his own in the worst economy since the Great Depression help the child? How does suspending the same fathers drivers license so he can’t drive and “visit” his child help the child? How does suspending his professional license so he can’t go out and find a new job to start paying his “child support” help the child? Now tell me it’s all only “in the best interests of the children.”

That system operates as it does today because of those who think to themselves, “I don’t have time to assist, I don’t know how to assist,” or “others will assist so I don’t need to assist.” That thinking (all of it) couldn’t be further from the truth, and changing it begins with a simple yet very sincere, “how can “I” help?”

I do recognize that there are yet others who due to emotional and or mental problems can’t assist and that’s okay. But for those who say they’re “too stressed,” please trust me when I say you’ll truly find great relief, peace, and satisfaction in the helping of others, especially those who can’t help themselves.

Finally, donations are needed now to assist with web hosting fees and domain name purchases. Therefore, if you’re willing to assist on behalf of yourself, your children and or others, please contact me at the email below and advise as to how your willing to do so, and be that with your time, skills, financially,  all three, or “how can I help?”

Remember, change in this area is not going to come willingly by the State of Ohio, as there’s too much money (through their “child support” profits) involved for them to willingly change. Especially, in this economy. The State of Ohio has a budget too, and it doesn’t look good either.

Therefore, the hundreds of millions of dollars Ohio earns annually through statewide “child support” collections is not a sum of money that the State is going to willingly give up. Kim Newsom-Bridges and the legally sanctioned “rings of thievery” (as I refer to them, they aren’t so legally, but are so in spirit in my humble opinion) that are otherwise known as the Ohio “Child Support” Directors Association and the National “Child Support” Enforcement Association, will fight tooth and nail to keep earning their “child support” profit off not only the backs of broken families, but most importantly, off the backs of the innocent and precious children of those same families. You know them,  they’re those whom said agencies claim to only be “acting in the best interests of;” they are your beloved children.


Tony Fantetti
Ohio Council for Fathers Rights
Email: tony.fantetti(at)ocffr(dot)org

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