Why Your Comment Doesn’t Post and My Apology to My Readers

To my readers,

Please understand that what I do with regard to this website, blogging and helping others; mainly fathers, but also their wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, etc as well as non-custodial moms, is on my own time and at my own expense.

I always find it amusing when people (especially those single moms who hate and despise me) tell me, “I’m going to set my on blog up…”   “Good luck with that one,” is what I’m generally thinking…Sarcastically of course.

To my point. Thousands of hours and thousands of dollars is the cost of “just blogging” when you factor in content control, managing SPAM, mitigating security risks, owning your own domain and the associated email.

In short, there’s a lot more than just stringing some sentences together if you care in the least about being effective, changing the minds and thinking of those in disagreement, and making a difference. Additionally, a LOT of research is involved as one must be speaking the truth and with facts to back your words.

Anyone who has been following me since I “set up shop” knows that I’ve entered many periods of lull, that in one case, lasted more than a year. That’s a terrible thing to do if someone who reads me is depending on the emotional support that many of my posts deliver.

And truthfully, those lulls affect me DEEPLY in an emotional manner. In all honestly, I feel a lot of shame and guilt that in turn (and unfortunately) sometimes increases the length of my silence.

The cause of said lulls is usually manifold in most cases. I like many of you must work to eat, and my job is very demanding. Add to that this thing called “life”, my own case, and problems, encounters, etc in that realm affect not only what I can do here as a blogger, but more importantly how well I do it.

When I write, my heart and emotions must be in it. Especially if in the the piece I’m writing at the time, I’m trying to connect with my readers (especially struggling noncustodial single dads and moms)  on an emotional level.

If my “head’s not in the game,” when I’m writing,then I may as well be posting the alphabet, as the outcome would be the same; the piece will be heartless, ineffective and worthless crap, just like Ohio’s “Child” Support Enforcement Agencies (CSEA) and many of their overpaid employees. Or better yet, thugs.

Due to SPAM, and my efforts to stop it from taking over this site, anyone who has never posted here before will have their comment “flagged” by the SPAM filters. When that happens, I have to manually release the comment so it’ll post. And I generally follow that action up with an email to the person who wrote the comment. After the SPAM filter “knows” you. That flagging is no longer an issue.

Their are better ways to manage both comments and SPAM, and I really need to implement them here, but again, that takes time. I need to learn the technology and then implement the same. This site needs many updates and many changes to be made, however web design is not my forte.

I can code in the various website related languages, but I’m no expert in them, and I do it just enough that I forget what I’ve learned when the time comes to do it again. So take that one ‘simple’ thing, website maintenance and combine that with a blog post that takes 8 hours to write after research is factored in, or I’ve re-wrote the piece 90 times because I didn’t like the way it flowed.

Or, consider that I tried to “condense” the piece because it’s way way too long, I’ve stated the same point multiple times albeit in different ways, or it’s just too wordy. Repeating myself, being wordy, and going off point sadly are three of my “strong suits” by the way. And that’s  clearly unfortunate for both you and me.

Drawing on some older political drama involving ole Slick Willy, who I utterly detest and am absolutely no fan of but would welcome back with open arms over the current occupant of the White House; I could type a 25 page, single spaced exposition on the definition of the word ‘is.’  I’m not kidding.

But alas, see what I mean? The last two paragraphs were a total waste of cyber ink, I was beginning to drag you down that road, and I just got started, and you know what’s worse? I continue with this; a THIRD useless paragraph. I’m convinced it’s a sickness…

In closing I want to add there’s little that’s more frustrating than taking the time (especially lots of it) to think and write out a response to something, clicking “submit”, “ok” or whatever, and seeing that your comment did not post.

So please know that in regard to the OCFFR Blog, your comment will be posted.  it just may take some time, and unfortunately, more than “just a little” in some cases.


Tony Fantetti

This entry was posted in Athens County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Attorneys; Retain or Refrain?, Belmont County Child Support Enforcment Agency (CSEA), Butler County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Celebrities, Child Abuse, Child Support, Child Support Hurts, Child Support Moms (CSMs), Communications with the State of Ohio, Custody Issues, Cuyahoga County Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Darke County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Domestic Violence, Emails from Others, Employment and Unemployment, Fathers Rights Advocates Organizations and Advocacy, Grandparents, Hamilton County, Hamilton County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Humor Satire Sarcasm and Cynicism, Incarcerated Fathers, Incarceration and Prison, Judges and Magistrates, Military Mothers and Fathers, Misandry, Miscellaneous, Montgomery County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Morality and Religion, National Child Support Enforcement Association (NCSEA), Notifications about Website and Blog Updates Issues and Changes, Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Ohio Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) Abuses, Ohio Child Support Lawsuit, Ohio CSEA Directors Association (OCDA), Ohio Department of Jobs and Family Services (ODJFS), Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), Parental Kidnapping, Police and Firemen, Politics, Refrain!, Retain, Single Moms, Single Moms "by Choice", Suicide, The State of Ohio, The Voices of Others, These are "Deadbeats?", This is in the "Best Interests of the Children?", Title-IV D of the Social Security Act, Trumbull County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA), Uncategorized, Unconscionable Child Support Horror Stories, Visitation, Warren County Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Why Your Comment Doesn’t Post and My Apology to My Readers

  1. Shelly says:

    Hello, Tony, good to see you back. Don’t worry about the “lulls”, you’re only human and have helped a great many people. I have been trying to get my act together to get involved politically in my area but the family courts are screwing us so bad food and housing are a daily worry and that makes it hard to care beyond ourselves. Don’t let people try to take more from you than you can give, you’re a blessing and I always look forward to a post on your blog.

    • Tony Fantetti says:


      I’ve been where you are, and trust me, I “know” the fear as I lived it for years myself, and while I was losing everything in the process. You can’t allow it to overcome you, and if you’re a person of faith, lean on it as it will see you through.

      With hindsight being 20/20, me losing everything (3 homes and my life’s savings) was the best thing that happened to me. It didn’t seem like it was at the time, but I can now say with absolute certainty that it was.

      And thank you very much for the kind words



  2. Cyndi and Dan Montoney says:

    Love to join your blog and/or receive emails from you.

  3. meg says:

    where can I get help??? I have been trying to get a court ordered child support order for 16 years. I get the run a round constantly. help please!

  4. sharon smith says:

    my son is paying 575.00 a month for 1 child and has tried to have it reduced.child support denied it. he has very little income right now. he has filed bankruptcy a few months ago.my son would love to have a relationship with his 1 year old son but he is affaird to contact her because he cant trust her. she has already made 1 false 911 call on him.she has mental issues.

    • Tony Fantetti says:


      I’ve traveled the road your son is walking, and it’s an incredibly difficult and emotionally draining one. I lost 3 homes and more when I went bankrupt due to my “child support”order, but NOTHING compares to being cut off from your child as a father. Physical possessions are replaceable, while lost time remains as such forever.

      Your son should consider carrying a digital voice recorder. Many of them can be directly connected to phones so that conversations can be recorded. If I were in his position, I would be recording all calls with her as well as all interactions using a video camera, a digital recorder, or having at least one witness for all in-person interactions.

      With her background, chances are likely that she’ll make some false accusations against him (especially false claims of “domestic violence), and without any evidence whatsoever, he’ll likely go right to jail. No proof whatsoever is needed on her part, only an accusation. False DV charges can also destroy a man’s life.

      It it were me, I’d investigate the laws in his state (Ohio?) about recording phone conversations, and if it’s legal, I’d certainly be doing it.



  5. sharon smith says:

    I have read quite a few of comments about childrens services. At one time I was a foster parent.Iquit because I got tired of putting up with caseworkers lies and bs.They are suppose to do a state and national background check on us but I found out one of the child I got the people that he was first placed with had warrants on them in another state on drug charges.He had a supervised visit with mom and told her that the woman had been arrested and he was with her.The mother ask me to find out on computer I did and it showed up.thats when he was placed with me.Then caseworker told lie on stand while testifying and was caught. A lot of the caseworkers are young and fresh out of college and never been married and have never had kids. No they don’t follow their own regulations and rules.They don’t fire any of these caseworkers they just move them to another part of their agencies. I applied for food stamps once when I had three of them a once they were brother and sister. They denied me because they were going by my husbands and my income.Childrens services only gave me 300 two times a year for clothes for them.Iwould love to see someone investigate Hamilton county childrens services and support depts.You cant get a straight answer out of no one.Anyone out there.

  6. Kenny says:

    I don’t know what to do. I filled for a review since my ex wife makes just a little bit more money than I and we have shared custody of our daughter on a week to week basis. I received the judges decision which almost doubled the previous amount. I objected to it but his decision remained, almost 800 a month. The money for a decent lawyer is hard to come by.
    I feel so very lost.

  7. Tony Fantetti says:

    Unfortunately Kenny there’s little you can do, and what you’ve said only proves a point that I made to a commenter named Kell Lynn recently. Despite the questions I posed to her, I knew she wouldn’t reply because I was correct in my assertions in my response to her.

    That being, “child support” is mostly calculated on the obligor’s income (the father in 84% of cases nationwide) as the mother’s income hardly affects how badly the father is financially raped. And that’s exactly what it is.

    Interesting that you have “shared custody” and yet you’re still bankrupted (or nearly so) by a “child support” order for a child that you have what, 50% of the time? It sounds like she was designated the “residential parent.” And in “child support” cases, such a phrase is used to steal large sums of money from the “child support” paying parent, and even in situations where both parents have the child 50% of the time.

    Nothing, and I mean nothing warrants such theft of one’s income. If you don’t mind my asking, how much do both of you gross, and what are the parenting orders? IE do you each have your daughter 50% of the time?

    Also, what county are you in and who are the magistrate and judge? If you’re hesitant to answer that, I can change the name under your post to whatever you desire to further hide your identity.


  8. Julia and Chad Buddenberg says:

    We are very interested in learning how to get information and get involved in fathers’ rights groups. We are currently involved in a custody case and the mother of the children seems to have a lot of connections in the court system. We feel that the GAL is even inappropriately involved in some kind of friendship with the mother of the children. It also appears that the mother is attempting to turn the kids against their dad. They have been divorced for 3 years and we are attempting to get custody of the children as a result of the mother refusing visitation during Christmas. The childrens’ grades are suffering and behaviors are changing. Any advice/help that you can provide would be appreciated.